Today is the first day back to school for my daughters. While my neighbor thinks I should be overjoyed, I miss my girls already. Sniff. Sniff. But these are exciting times. My oldest daughter started middle school today and my middle daughter started third grade.

And while I knew I wasn’t being the cool mom when I ran barefoot across the yard with wet hair to snap these pictures, I knew better than to give them a big fat kiss in front of all the kids looking out from the bus windows. Even though I desperately wanted to plant one on them. Fortunately for me though both my girls stopped to give me a kiss before they got on the school bus. They knew I really wanted one despite my efforts to be cool! See why I miss them already?

We’ve all heard the expression . . . “Time flies when you’re having fun.” However, I think we’d all agree that time flies when you’re crazy busy too! I think that’s why we’re also familiar with the age old question “Where does the time go?”

Well I discovered a tool on CNN.com to help answer that question! It’s a work life balance calculator that enables you to find out exactly how you spend the 168 hours we all have in one week. Specifically, you input the number of hours you spend on the following activities:

• Work
• Sleep
• Meals
• Commute
• Leisure
• Chores

Frankly, I think there needs to be a category for transitional activities like getting ready in the morning, driving to soccer practice and putting the kids to bed, but I ended up putting those types of activities under chores and leisure. While I thoroughly enjoy reading my girls a bedtime story, reminding them to brush their teeth is a chore!

I was pleased to discover that when I input my typical schedule during the school year into the work life balance calculator that I was in pretty good work life balance. (I didn’t bother to input my summer schedule because with three kids home all day, there’s no way to be balanced!)

So if you too are asking yourself “Where does the time go?” take a few minutes to figure that out. Hopefully, you’ll either be pleased with your level of work life balance or be able to identify areas you can modify to get yourself more in balance.

I was very fortunate to meet Claire Mysko at the recent BlogHer conference. We both attended the session on how to help children have a healthy self image. When Claire shared her expertise on this subject, I was thrilled when she graciously agreed to write the following guest post for me!

Girls today are told they can do anything. Unfortunately, what they’re often hearing is that they have to do everything, please everyone, and look thin and stylish while they’re at it. The increasing pressure in girls’ lives comes from many different sources—the media, parents, teachers, friends—and it’s all adding up to big time stress. According to The Supergirl Dilemma a recent study conducted by Girls Inc., more than half of girls in middle school reported that they often feel stressed. By the time girls get into high school, that number jumps to 74%. Perhaps even more disturbing is that one third of all girls in grades 3-12 said they often feel sad and unhappy.

When girls get caught up in the quest to be “supergirls,” they are less likely to feel confident in themselves and celebrate what truly makes them amazing. As adults who care about girls, it is our job to help girls confront the pressure they feel to be perfect. Here are a four tips on how to tackle the supergirl dilemma:

1. Teach girls to be savvy and critical media consumers. Ask them what they like and dislike about the movies and TV shows they watch and the magazines they read. Illuminate the difference between fantasy and reality by telling girls what retouching is and how often it is used to make models and actors look artificially flawless.

2. Encourage girls to exercise their bragging rights. Too often, girls are hesitant to talk about what makes them amazing because they don’t want to be seen as conceited or they feel like they’re not perfect enough to be proud of themselves. Turn that thinking around by challenging girls to take pride in all of their amazing qualities, not just their achievements.

3. Discuss the value of making mistakes and taking healthy risks. Many girls are so focused on being perfect and doing things “right” that they miss out on valuable opportunities because they are so afraid of failure. Share a mistake you made or a risk you took in life that helped you get where you are today.

4. When girls talk about the pressures they feel, the best thing you can do is listen. Don’t judge, interrupt, or get upset. Remember that what girls need most of all in their lives are supportive adults who take the time to hear what they’re saying.

Claire Mysko is the author of Girls Inc. Presents: You’re Amazing! A No-Pressure Guide to Being Your Best Self. She has served as the director of the American Anorexia Bulimia Association, the Executive Editor of SmartGirl, and the Assistant Director of Communications at Girls Inc., the organization that inspires all girls to be strong, smart, and bold. She is also the co-founder of Inside Beauty, an outreach program designed to give girls and women a healthy fashion and beauty reality check. Claire received an Master’s in Gender Studies from The New School for Social Research. Her website is www.clairemysko.com.

As you all know, this blog is part of the incredible Sparkplugging blog network (formerly eMomsatHome.com) that Wendy Piersall created to educate, encourage and support self-employed business owners who work at home. What you may not know, is that she recently launched an online university called SparkplugU to help people create flexible work at home jobs that fit into their lives.

The SparkplugU classes are designed to help you make money from home and start or market your business. Each class provides:

• Course Outline - What you can expect to learn by the end of the class
• Prerequisites - What you need to know before you take a particular class
• Course Materials - Some classes will include course materials in the registration cost. But there are no surprise additional expenses, if there are additional books required, you will know exactly what you need up front.
• Refund Policy - You can cancel after the first session of any live class we offer. However, the self-paced downloadable classes are non-refundable.

Since SparkplugU is relatively new, we are looking for your feedback to help make it the best it can be. So please take a few moments to check out SparkplugU and tell us what you think. Not only will we completely value your opinion, Wendy is giving away a Nikon CoolPix 8 Megapixel camera to make it worth your time to complete the quick nine question survey.

Thank you and good luck!

_________________________________________________________________

Prize valued at $139.95. Open to legal residents of the United States 18 years of age and older. No purchase required. One entry per person. Void where prohibited by law. By submitting your Name and Email address, you agree to receive relevant promotional emails and contest follow up communications from Sparkplugging.com, in compliance with our strict privacy policy and giveaway rules. Your information will never be rented or sold to third parties. Frequently Asked Questions.

Vanessa Van Petten is the teen author of the parenting book You’re Grounded!: How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easier. She writes a parenting blog from a teenager’s perspective to help parents understand what is actually going on in the minds of teens today. Her awesome parenting tips as a Family Peacemaker have been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Daily News, Fox 5 New York, CBS 4 Miami and much more. I highly recommend you check our her site OnTeensToday.com! Vanessa was kind enough to share the following post.

Guest Post from Vanessa Van Petten

This is a tricky subject and different for every family, but I truly believe that every teenager who wants to get marijuana, can.

Therefore, I always tell parents, it is extremely difficult to try to shield a teenager today from being exposed to marijuana because it is so prominent. I believe parents need to spend their efforts trying to equip teenagers to make the right choices, so when they are exposed to it, they will choose not to smoke marijuana.

To be very honest, no matter how strict a curfew you have, how often you drug test your teenagers, or whether they are an athlete, a scholar or a jock (see Teens Dealing Urine Post), your teenager will always find a way to smoke marijuana if they want to. They key is making sure they do not want to.

1. Ask Questions

Before you dive into trying to equip them with the power to “just say no” try to gauge their level of involvement. Ask the tough questions. I am not saying to grill them before they go out, but showing them you are paying attention and are very involved is important and you can get an idea of how much or how little you know about their social life.

2. Listen to their Answers

Most times, when I hear parents talk to their teenagers, parents do ask questions, but then answer the questions themselves. A question, and then silence will get you a long way. For some reason, even after we have already given a one-word answer, if we feel you are still waiting for more, we either get nervous (a sign we are hiding something) or splurge and let our mouths go. Also look at your teenager’s immediate facial response as soon as you ask a question. We are not as good at hiding our emotions and you might be able to gauge a lot by watching our reaction.

3. Look at Their Friends

I constantly hear the “well, it’s not my teenager because . . .” response when I do speaking engagements on this topic. If you feel your child is either an angel or unreadable, look at their friends’ behavior. Have they gotten in trouble? Are they the ones who make the decisions where to go on the weekends? Friends’ behavior means everything in the world of marijuana.

4. Talk to Your Friends and Other Parents

Get informed about the marijuana culture in general and in your specific community. I post frequently on this topic and what kids are doing right now, so you can stay a step ahead. I highly recommend getting together with parent friends and talking about what your kids are doing and sharing notes about what they think is going on.

5. Don’t Lecture!

If you think we are smoking marijuana, seeing it at parties or just want to talk to us about it, please talk, don’t lecture! I promise, we have heard all of the negative sides to smoking marijuana in health class. As soon as you start lecturing us, we stop listening. So, instead of approaching it like a health teacher, ask questions and let us come to our own conclusion, usually we know what is right and wrong, and if we feel like you are talking to us, not at us, at least we will come to you if we have questions or problems down the road.

6. Find Out Why:

This is tricky, it is important to understand that, today, marijuana is not only for ˜the stoner” kids. All different kinds of teenagers are doing it and it has become a sort of social unifier. A drama kid and a jock might not hang out at school, but if they get to the party and share a joint, they are friends. It is really important to understand this new social aspect and that it permeates all kinds of peer groups.

For more strategies to use if you think your teenager is smoking marijuana, click on page 2.

I always like participating in MamaBlogga’s group writing project, but this topic, The New Normal, is particularly timely because I’ve recently come to the conclusion that our fast-paced, jam-packed, long days are no longer the exception, but the rule.

Many of you might be thinking, “Duh! What took you so long to realize that?”

The answer is an ongoing stream of seasonal rationalizations that all add up to 12 months of crazy.

“Back to school time is always nuts.”

“Planning my kids’ birthday parties always adds several items to my never-ending to do list.”

“The holidays are always fun, but so much work.”

“Things are always extra chaotic during soccer season.”

“The end of the school year is always extra busy with field trips, picnics, etc.”

“Preparing to go on vacation and then unpacking everything and getting caught up always means long days the week before and after our trip.”

So now instead of hiding behind my rationalizations, I’m accepting the fact that our fast-paced, jam-packed, long days ARE the new normal. And those lazy days when time appears to stand still are most definitely the exception.

I believe maintaining work life balance is a universal challenge. In other words, whether you’re working full-time, part-time, inside the home, outside the home, with kids or without, we all have experienced the stress of being overcommitted and the satisfaction of feeling on top of things, even if that moment is fleeting.

That said, I’m very interested in what others think about work life balance. So I decided to start an interview series to find out what successful professionals in various fields have to say about work life balance. I think you’ll enjoy their perspectives as much as I did!

Today’s Interview is with Sheila Weller

Sheila Weller, author of six books and winner of several journalism prizes, is a Contributing Editor at Vanity Fair and Glamour magazines. She also occasionally blogs at The Huffington Post. Her most recent book, GIRLS LIKE US: CAROLE KING, JONI MITCHELL, CARLY SIMON — AND THE JOURNEY OF A GENERATION, spent eight weeks on the New York Times best seller list.

What does work life balance mean to you?

That’s a good question. By that I mean, when I was younger and my son was growing up (he’s 26 and happily on his own), I’d say it meant being able to have a work life that didn’t keep you from being a totally involved mom. Being a freelance writer, I was lucky that I could. But now that he’s out of the house, my husband, who’s also a writer, and I work pretty much all the time! We’re both work-focused, self-absorbed, independent, and our marriage works because we never make undue demands on each other. So I don’t think I’m an ideal candidate for “work life balance” now! I guess I’d have to say, contrarianly, that I’m a believer that work life unbalanced people have their own integrity and, hey, let’s hear it for us! Obsessed writers and others!

On a work life balance scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being in perfect balance and 1 being a state of utter chaos, where do you fit on the work life balance scale?

For the past seven years, I’ve been a 3.

What strategies or resources do you use to help maintain your work life balance (i.e., time management, productivity, efficiency, technology, services, books, etc.)

I like helping friends. I e-mail a lot. I go to an office , at Glamour magazine, so life can be social. I love driving and sometimes my best and most peaceful thoughts come from driving down country roads . . . going many, many miles just to buy a few food items and the NY Times.

How can you tell when you’re out of balance?

I gain weight, am cranky and have back aches.

How can you tell when you’re in balance?

I’m happy when people love the work I do, and love the things I say to try to help them and when we go out to dinner and all have fun. I don’t know if it’s balance, but it’s gratification.

Here’s the thing: When you’re a writer, you’re already expressing yourself, so work isn’t the onerous thing it can be to a less creative type. (Not that - believe me! — writing is always fun. Often it is hell! But at least it’s self-expression.) So a lot of “life” IS in the “work.” If I were a patent lawyer or on an auto assembly line, I’d sure as hell need balance in my life. But, as a writer, even if I’m hunched over the computer and eating at my desk so much that my yesterday’s plates of dried food crash into each other . . . I’m still “living” because writing is a very enlivening thing to do.

Do you think work life balance is solely a women’s issue? Why or why not?

No, it’s everyone’s issue. If your kids are young it’s more a woman’s issue. Women feel more guilty or out of sorts if they’re away from their kids, more than men.

How do you balance the benefits of mobile technology? Is it always good to be reachable?

I don’t have a Blackberry - that would be like a potential heroin addict getting a free hit every hour. I have a cell phone but, living in NYC, and not having young kids, you don’t need it that much. I’m not a big cell phone talker - those phones are too little and hard to hear. When I’m in the city or my country house or in my office I am ridiculously, absurdly linked to my e-mail.

What is your favorite place on earth and why?

Some island somewhere. I haven’t been to the beach in forever! I see ads and commercials and dream of an island, in the Caribbean . . . I’ll get there again one day!

What is your favorite “work” web site? “life” web site?

I go on DrudgeReport — it’s my newsstand. Then all the news sites and The Huffington Post, where I sometimes blog. Salon, Slate, Gawker! LOVE Gawker! Those are my sites — work, life, or whatever.

Please describe a typical day in your life when you are in work life balance?

• Wake up just before 7 a.m.
• Have coffee and try to watch opening of Good Morning America or TODAY show
• Check / answer / write e-mails and go to websites
• Do work interspersed with e-mails
• Either go to my office at Glamour or work from home , but always in front of the computer
• Sometimes a lunch date, interview, talks with colleagues
• Home to hubby - talk, improvised dinner, watch TV
• Go to bed with Charlie Rose on — I love falling asleep while watching Charlie Rose. My husband tells me in the morning, “He had a good show, but you fell asleep.” I feel cared for that I can fall asleep while we’re both watching Charlie Rose — go figure.

What accomplishment in your life are you most proud of?

Writing this last book of mine, GIRLS LIKE US: CAROLE KING, JONI MITCHELL, CARLY SIMON — AND THE JOURNEY OF A GENERATION. Hands down.

If you’re interested in winning a free copy of Sheila Weller’s best selling book, Girls Like Us, leave a comment on this Momsational giveaway post.

In keeping with the spirit of Simplify Your Life week, here’s a post for all you parents out there! In addition to the first ten, here are ten more ways to simplify your life . . . with kids. Frankly, it never occurred to me I HAD to simplify my life until I had kids. Go figure.

So here are some tips that work for me. Hopefully a few will work for you!

Ten Ways to Simplify Your Life with Kids

1. Stock the Car

If you’re like me, you live spend an inordinate amount of time in your car. Okay, I admit it . . . minivan to be precise. And while I’ve often joked we could survive in our minivan by eating the remnants of snack crumbs and half empty full water bottles, I’ve learned the hard way more than once that we weren’t equipped for the many mishaps that occur while we’re away from home.

Now, my car is stocked with the following:

• Dramamine
• Plastic bags
• Wipes
• Hand sanitizer (You’ve probably gathered one of my kids gets car sick.)
• Lifesavers
• Cell phone (Whenever I take it out of the car, I lose it. It’s that simple.)
• Bottled water
• Pillow
• Blanket
• DVDs
• Snack bars
• Baby’s sun hat
• Sunscreen
• Baby’s shoes (I got so freakin’ sick of not being able to find her shoes that I now keep them in the car at all times!)

There might even be more out there, but I’m too lazy to go look.

2. Get Up Earlier Than Your Kids

This one is particularly difficult for me! I’m addicted to sleep and have some serious withdrawal symptoms when I don’t get enough of it. Yes, I think cranky is a withdrawal symptom! Anyway, I’ve been forcing myself this summer to get up earlier than my kids, well at least two of them, in order to get tasks I need done and prepare for the day. Thankfully though my wonderful hubby lets me catch up on my sleep on the weekends. Do you think it’s because he likes me better when I’m rested? I never thought of that until this moment. Hmmm.

3. Prepare for the Next Day the Night Before

Okay, I am getting up earlier, but not like hours! So it always helps when we prepare whatever we can the night before (i.e., lunches, school backpacks, summer camp items, soccer gear, etc.) Whenever I deviate from this mantra, I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS live to regret it. The mornings are too damn stressful as it is.

4. Create To Do Lists for Your Kids

Instead of constantly reminding your kids to brush their teeth, do their homework, and complete their chores, write down what you expect them to do. (I typed my kids’ lists and print them out each week. Anal? Definitely, but it’s a lot more effective and a lot less aggravating than getting “blue in the face” repeating yourself.) This tip definitely works better with kids who can read, but I have to admit I created a morning to do list for one of my students with graphics instead of words. His mother was thrilled!

5. Pick Up the House Once a Day

I can’t stand clutter, but I’m learning to live with it . . . at least until the end of the day. This is because I’ve learned that if I pick up all of our collective clutter throughout the day, not only do I feel like a maid, I get absolutely nothing else accomplished! Now, we jam together as a family at the end of the day and I enjoy an orderly home for that ever shrinking time frame between when my kids go to bed and when I do.

For five more ways to Simplify Your Life with Kids, click on page 2.