How to Teach Children Anger Management: Part One

Out of all the issues I deal with as a parent and a School Counselor, the one I deal with most often is anger management. At home it presents itself as sibling rivalry, while at school I work with students who lash out at their peers physically, verbally or both.

When one of my kids yells to me, “Mom!!! She hit me!!!” or a teacher marches a student down to my office saying “He hit Billy on the playground,” this is not the opportunity to teach the child how to manage their anger. The best time to teach children how to manage their anger is before or well after they get angry and act out. It does no good to try and teach children anger management strategies in the heat of the moment.

When I work with kids, I use a volcano metaphor to illustrate why it’s important to control our anger. I explain that anger is like lava and that when we lose control of our anger, our volcanoes erupt spewing harmful lava . . . when the lava reaches our mouths, we can hurt others with our words . . . when the lava reaches our finger tips, we can hurt others or break things with our hands.

Once the kids understand they must keep themselves (and their lava) calm and cool, I begin teaching them the first anger management strategy.

To continue reading, click on page 2.