How to Tell Your Children that You Are Getting Divorced

Divorce can be awful, and telling your kids is a very difficult part of the process. However, there are many things you can do to prepare for the conversation and to minimize your children’s feelings of uncertainty, fear, confusion, anger, and guilt.

While many parents are anxious to “just get it over with,” it is very important to resolve certain issues before telling your children you are getting divorced. You need to be able to answer your children’s questions clearly and confidently, so they feel safe and secure going into the monumental life changes ahead of them. Here are some of the questions you should be able to answer before you talk to your children:

• What does “divorce” mean?
• Why are you getting divorced?
• Where will we live?
• Who will we live with?
• Where will the noncustodial parent live?
• When will the noncustodial parent move out?
• How often will we see the noncustodial parent?
• Will we need to switch schools?
• Will my siblings live with me?
• Where will our pet live?
• Will we need to share bedrooms?

Once you are clear about the answers to these questions, choose a time to tell your children when both parents can be there and you won’t be rushed. Then practice what you are going to say. It is imperative that you remain unemotional when telling your children about the divorce, because seeing parents sad, angry or afraid can be very upsetting and frightening for children, and they’ll be less likely to share their emotions because they’re worried about yours.

Click on Page 2 below for more suggestions on how to tell your children you’re getting divorced.