Rumors, Sex and Marriage
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My kids just ran off the bus and came inside. Before their backpacks hit the floor, Feisty Girl shouts to Sweet Angel . . .
“What is this about you doing a sex project?”
“I’m not. That’s just the rumor going around,” Sweet Angel responds calmly.
“Okay, Mom, we’re going outside!”
Not so fast.
“Raise your hand if you know what sex means?” I had to start somewhere.
Sweet Angel replies, “I know what both definitions mean.”
“What do you mean?”
“One is when a baby is born and they tell you what sex it is.”
“Yeah.”
“The other is when two people really love each other and they have sex before they’re married.”
At this point, my seven-year-old interjects and says, “Yeah, I knew those definitions too.”
I had to stifle a smile before I could delve a little further.
“Well, what is it the people in love do when they have sex?”
Both my girls stare at me blankly. Okay, now I know what I’m working with.
I start by explaining that in no way are they in trouble and that the only reason I’m asking is so they know what terms like sex really mean. While I don’t elaborate today on the mechanics of sex, that will be a conversation for another day, I do respond to the issues of rumors, sex and marriage.
First I explain that it’s very important not to spread rumors. Sweet Angel, aptly named, offers that whenever someone tells her a rumor she just keeps it to herself and forgets about it. Bravo!
Second, I agree with them that sex is for people in love.
Lastly, I share that they don’t have to be married to have sex. Surprised?
Though I quickly add they have to be out of high school first.
“Of course Mommy. You have to be in your twenties at least.”
Even better.
So what is your position on pre-marital sex? (No pun intended.)
Shannon Hutton draws on her experience working full-time, part-time and from home with three kids to blog about the universal challenge of achieving work-life balance. She also uses her Master's in Education and professional experience as a School Counselor to address parenting and school issues in her weekly 
Oh. my. gosh! halarious! One of those moments when one must stop and inhale deeply before diving in! LOL
I like your set up on the pm sex . . .our bodies are fully functional in that capacity. I am assuming that is your spring board to next discuss what is best…
nice goin’, Mom!
I waited until I was 20 years old to have sex with my husband, but we weren’t married.
As a Catholic, I was very conflicted about it. I don’t regret it, but I know it was wrong and we should have waited. I sometimes wish I had waited, only because I want to be a good example for my kids.
It’s a good thing for confession and penance….
Nicely Done.
Buckle Up.It only gets more interesting.
Love,DAD
I didn’t catch this the first time around! Amazing on-the-fly lesson as always!
I with L. I didn’t catch this the first time around, but felt compelled to comment and answer your question. I am against pre-marital sex, because of my relationship with God. Waiting for marriage was a little easier knowing that I could be an example to my daughter. My husband didn’t wait. We can at least give our kids both sides of the story.
Amanda - The Mom Crowd’s last blog post..Mommies Online
Great comments for the noobie.