Seize the Moment

I’m Type A with a capital “A”. I like my plans, my structure, and chore lists for my kids. I’m lost without my Palm Pilot, color-coded calendar and to do list. I wake up each day and plan in my head what I need to do and want to do. The only thing I go with the flow on is when I get my work done.

I used to be a firm believer in work before play. But that all changed when I started working from home with kids. Well, that’s not exactly true. My approach didn’t change right away. It took many a night of me going to bed feeling guilty and frustrated before I realized my rigid work ethic was preventing me from achieving work-life balance.

Before my epiphany, I would start my weekdays and weekends the same. Tasks first. Fun second. I couldn’t justify playing a game, going to the park or sitting down to watch a movie until I had been sufficiently productive. This approach even extended to intimate time with my hubby. I couldn’t focus and “get in the mood” with my to do list racing through my head. So I’d rush to the computer or around the house getting as many things accomplished as I could. The plan was when I was done with my tasks for the day, I’d play with my kids and spend time with my hubby.

This plan backfired miserably for two reasons.

1. I often ran out of hours in the day before I ran out of tasks.

2. When I was ready to play with my kids, they didn’t want to play with me. (Their friends were over, their favorite T.V. show was on, it was their bedtime!) I will say though that my hubby is always willing and able whenever I am!

So night after night I would lie in bed rehashing the day (the unfortunate by-product of being not only Type A but a dweller) and I would feel guilty and frustrated. Guilty because another day had gone by without me stopping to relish the fact that my children still live at home. Frustrated because I couldn’t get everything done that I wanted to.

So I changed my approach in two ways.

1. I have reduced the number of tasks I expect to accomplish in a day. (From 100 to 50! )

2. When my kids or hubby want to spend time with me, I put my to do list aside and seize the moment. Like I said before, the to do list will always be around, but my kids won’t. And while I know my hubby isn’t going anywhere, I never want to take his love and attention for granted.

* So when my daughters say “Mommy, come play with us!” I do.

* When my baby walks over and hands me a book. I cuddle her on my lap and read it.

* When my hubby kisses my neck in the kitchen, I leave the clutter and lead him to the bedroom mudroom. (With three kids, you improvise!)

Do I still get my work done? Yes.

* When my two older daughters are in school, outside playing with their friends or asleep.

* When my baby is napping, playing quietly by herself or watching Sesame Street.

* When my hubby is working, doing his own to do list or taking a well deserved break in front on the Yankees game.

And now when I think about the day before I fall asleep. I feel good, not guilty.