I lied to you. Repeatedly. And I’m really sorry. Time to come clean.
Remember when I told you that this wouldn’t be a how-to blog about eBay? I said that it would stand apart from all of the mundane and functional “Top 10 blahdy blahs about eBay” posts out there? Well, no sooner had I typed those words than I began writing how-to articles.
Sure, I have been including my personal experiences in all of the pieces, but I don’t feel like it’s been personal enough.
So, here’s the real deal: I am sick of eBay. When I think of eBay lately, my feelings are well summed up with one word: “Eh.”
This may sound strange, but I fear that I may have enjoyed too much success too soon. I became complacent. The challenge dissipated and the fun went with it.
eMoms at Home founder, Wendy Piersall, has written frequently about the dangers of burnout for work-at-home parents. In fact, it was one of her articles that made me decide to finally take this job at eBay Selling for eParents. I was already suffering from eBay burnout and felt that writing about it might reignite my once consuming passion.
Spark… spark… … … fizzle. Damn.
So here I am. Rather than imbibing this blog with honest stories about what it really takes to be an eBay success, I’ve been beating around the bush with the nuts and bolts stuff. Every time I sit down to write to you, I consider telling you that sometimes, occasionally, it’s tough to maintain an eBay business as a work-at-home parent. But then I chicken out. I’m afraid of scaring you off. Afraid that I’ll talk you out of what I know for a fact to be a fantastic home-based business if I write too frankly about the ups and downs involved.
Stop. We’re all adults. Heck, being adults (and therefore privy to certain horizontal extracurricular activities) is what got us into this mess as parents anyway, right? 
I don’t have to tiptoe around the tulips with ya’ll.
My eBay store has been on an hiatus of its own for a while now. A few months ago, I more or less closed my eBay store in order to temporarily focus on other things. I was worn out from managing customers, feedback, and shipping (the single hardest aspect of eBay for me), and found that I was constantly distracted by so many projects. I had begun considering bringing in some kind of child care so that I could get things done. I’m supposed to be a stay-at-home mom and I’m considering in-home daycare?
My inventory stares me in the face everyday. The finance charges on my credit cards from buying the inventory in the first place are a sickening reminder of how I haven’t been doing my “job.” And yet. I just can’t seem to get back on the horse.
If I’m not careful, the horse is going to ride on by me.
Holiday sales on eBay are big. Huge. And they start early. Last year, I actually closed my store a few weeks before Christmas because I could not keep up with the volume of sales I was achieving. That’s right, you heard me. I was making too much money. Too many buyers were bidding on my auctions. I was too successful and, therefore, overwhelmed.
I warned you that there are monster profits to be made on eBay. But you had better be ready for it.
I swore that this holiday season, I would be ready for it. I would plan ahead, using my experience from last year. And that, my friends, has been my excuse to not reopen my eBay store. I am in a perpetual state of wanting to get all my ducks in a line before I relaunch everything, aiming for a level of perfect organization that will likely never happen.
This is stagnation. Welcome to my rut.
At its root, what appears to be keeping me from fully reopening my eBay store is a fear of success. Everything I need to move my inventory in a snap is right at my fingertips. I could be selling thousands of dollars a month in listings right this very second if only I would just do it.
Instead, I have become self-defeating. I look around my home and see an endless list of things to do. I look at my children and feel a guilt that pulls me away from an entrepreneurial passion. An endless list of excuses.
Working at home is complicated. It is challenging. It is far more difficult than working outside of the home.
Rather than end this post on my perpetually optimistic high note, I’m going to turn to you for help. Something that is very difficult for me to do. It is my nature as a psychologist and self-sufficient know-it-all to work things out to their ends, analyzing the “why’s” and “how’s” and “what now’s” of every situation.
Knowing what to do (and knowing for a fact that it will work, with ease) and doing it are two very different things.
Success has immobilized me.
Someone explain that to me.
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Jenn Cangelosi is owner of 
First of all, awesome job of being frank and honest and talking about something that many of us would shy away from.
I can not explain it, Megan, but I can say this: I understand. If I get my butt in gear and bid on jobs, I will get jobs. So, I should just bid on the damn jobs already, right? What’s stopping me?
Something I find really helpful is to have someone else to whom I’m accountable. Maybe you could use this blog as a way to hold yourself accountable . . . report back what you’ve done each day or week to get yourself situated for the upcoming holiday season. Baby steps are ok!
By the way, I do like the “how to” aspect of what you’ve been doing here, too!
Oh my God… you just spoke my life. You are too young for this advice but I am going to call the doc tomorrow and have my hormones checked.
Wow, this is all very real. I don’t think you actually fear success. You are just burned out. Taking a break is probably a good thing.
That said, have you thought about hiring someone else to do some of the work for you? (For, say, shipping? The part you dread?)
The thing about working at home is that it will take extra effort to stay away from work.
What a great article.. thank you for being honest and saying what a lot of us sahm moms on ebay feel like.. I am considering my options for the holiday sales and getting ready..Running to the post office is not my favorite thing either. A different option: I have a website called magiesplace.info where fellow ebayer’s can advertise their ebay items for free. This is also an affiliate program where I can make extra income from the sales, which does not affect the seller at all. Still making money with Ebay and no shipping… Email me if you would like more information on this glad to help.. and please stop by my store http://www.magiesplace.net to check out another way to sell with digital delivery for ebooks. Wish you much success, Cheryl
Ohhhh Wahhh!
I’ve been in this rut now for 2-3 YEARS and am completely paralysed with it! I am driving myself INSANE every day and night, from the indecision, feeling overwhelmed with all around me that needs to be sold, knowing I could be cashing in, especially now until Xmas.
But as much as I sit at my computer thinking about getting items out there, I cannot bring myself to create a listing and COMMIT because of the amount of time and energy and focus required to do it at the Excellent Standard that I must meet, and that buyers deserve.
GRRRR! DAMMIT! I wish I was a cold hard B**** and a slacker like so many other fine sellers! Maybe I’m scared people will think of me as not a nice person if I tried to do it any other way, MY GOD why do I care so much? I know why, because I am a person who when she does something she does it not just good enough, but SPECTACULARLY SUPERBACIOUS!!!
But, I cannot do that now because I have more important things to occupy me and drive me mental…
I have a 20 month old son, and before he came along I was doing it all with passion and excitement. Now, I just feel guilty if I think about turning my attention away from the needs of my child, to the needs of the people buying my items.
I am completely STUCK on taking action to put him into childcare so that I can “work” because I feel guilty that I AM at home so therefore SHOULD be looking after him here also.
I want to make money and have a purpose other than being a 24/7 carer, but just can’t do that to him. Yet, through every minute of every day that I am torn and depressed about it, I am NOT being the perfect and good mother to him that HE deserves. And hey, they’re only little once aren’t they.
But still, I am itching to get into selling again, not for the money, just to be a person! But even in the few hours I have free at night when bub goes to sleep, I still can’t seem to make myself “get stuck into it”. Not even for a single item!!!
I am scared to death that I will become overwhelmed with customers, and packages, and trips to the Post Office and AHHHHH So I just don’t list. This is SO depressing.
I also will wait with great anticipation for any commentors who can help alleviate this insanity
This comment has taken me about THREE hours to finally submit, thanks to the little one!!!!!
BIG sigh…. God Bless Him
Hi – I saw a link to your post from Wendy’s blog. Thank you for voicing your fears. Here is what I posted on Wendy’s blog:
Wendy – this is an excellent post as is Megan’s post. I am going to put the following comment on her post as well.
I honestly think that the fear of success can cause more paralyzation (sp?) than the fear of failure. I am facing this exact same issue right now.
Do I raise funds for my company and grow? I know I can’t do it all. If I ‘fail’ now when not many people know about us maybe I’ll slip away unnoticed. But what if I fail after bringing along people for the ride? What will they and the rest of the world think? And the fears you mention above regarding becoming hugely successful swim through my mind constantly. As well as if I ‘make’ it:
+ will I have time for my kids and marriage?
+ will I have time for myself?
+ will I have time for my friends?
+ can I handle the criticism that often comes with success from people who just like to criticize (I am known to take things too personally sometimes)
In my search for answers I interview people on the topic of success and every story is different. http://www.entrepremusings.com/index.php/articles/
I work on my fear of success by forcing myself to be in the same room with people who others think of as successful for practice. I use to be deathly afraid of public speaking, but I kept putting myself out there…volunteering to speak despite my fears and now the stage looks so inviting. I’m hoping the same will hold true if I hang around a bunch of successful people! My for my next gig I’ll try out being a singer.
Thanks for writing this post and writing it now. I needed the reminder that I’m not the only one out there peaking around the corner hoping Success doesn’t see me and come jump on my head!
One piece of advice I can give (which I have to remind myself of constantly) is separating my success as a human being from the success of my company/job. As entrepreneurs we tend to tie those two intricately together which can be emotionally devastating for bot the company and us.
annie, got a website for you http://www.flylady.com One of her favorite quotes is anything worth doing is worth doing WRONG. Think about it.
You all sound like a bunch of lazy whinining moms who’ve never had a real job in their life.
First off, why are you running to the post office? USPS will pick ur packages up for free if you have ONE Priority item.
Secondly, u dabbled on ebay, made some money, and now that its actually requiring some work and the fun of it is a little lost, ur too lazy to do what is essentially a job.
I work full time and sell stuff on ebay that i have lying around, stop proacrasting and just do it instead of whining that its overwhelming your life.
It really doesn’t take that long to take some pics and throw up a description. And if you’ve got so much, then just learn to streamline it.
Cry babies.
A lot of what I hear stems from the childcare problem. How lucky are we, as mothers, that we are not away from our children 9-5 five days a week? That’s great, right? Well, with the fact that we’re NOT doing that in mind, why not put your cildren in PART TIME care? Once your child is a toddler, which it sounds like many are around here, they will CRAVE that same age attention and playmate. They will look forward to their daycare days. They will spend a couple of short hours away from you where they will play, eat at a table with other children, and enjoy 100% child-focused time. You will get things done, feel better about yourself, your passion and your finances. Then, on days when they are not in childcare, DON”T WORK! Or, work when they’re sleeping. Since you just had a couple of days or hours to yourself to keep your business in line, suddenly you’ll find it much easier to focus on your child….
I’ve never understood what is so great about the juggling act. Instead of spending 7 days a week giving your child 50% attention, and your business 50% attention, split the days, and always give 100%.
?
Ionizer – if you had left that comment on my blog I would have deleted it immediately.
Please be respectful and let’s not resort to name calling. If you want to sling mud, please do it somewhere else – your attitude won’t be tolerated in this community.
Until you have walked in someone else shoes, you cannot know what it feels like to be living their life.
Despite ionizers abject cluelessness, let’s admit this: work isn’t always fun. That’s why it’s called work, right? When it starts getting very work-y,(is that a word) that’s when a good or successful entrepreneur will buckle down, be disciplined and find solutions. That’s also when a lazy entrepreneur would bale out. (Bail out?)Now, “discipline” doesn’t mean work more or work harder– it means work smarter.
Wendy – Deleting comments just because you don’t like what a person says is quite silly. That kind of censorship is exactly what the internet is NOT about. Perhaps you should move to China, where you have everything censored
Allena is absolutely right, if you’re making it a job, then it’s a job, money doesn’t fall of a tree into your wallet/purse. It’s going to require work.
Ionizer – my point is that this is not about censorship – this is about respect.
I have no problem with what you said. I have a problem with the way you said it.
If you want to be a jerk, you may want to read a site’s comment polity before you make yourself look like a fool.
If that was not your intention, perhaps you should have chosen different and more respectful words to get your point across.
One man (or woman)’s idea of respect can be different than anothers.
Sorry you don’t like how the internet works. We’ll be sure to change it in v2 for you.
Hello,
I am so happy that you wrote this! I have struggled with the same issues. being a WAHM can be very lonely sometimes and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do everything to the best of our abilities. I am impressed with and touched by your frankness.
Thank you
I do have to agree with juliesews ~ Flylady.com is a wonderful site full of wonderful ways to streamline the other part of being a WAHM organization of time, housework, even grocery shopping. I love it, and get lots of encouragement from it when I start to feel like I need to be a perfectionist.
Trying to do EVERYTHING perfect is what overwhelms me, and then I have a very hard time getting motivated to do everything that I need to do and end up not doing anything at all. I have found that when I let go of my Idea of perfect and work “HAPPY” instead, that my completed work is good enough even if it does have minor imperfections. Now I am not talking about letting go of the quality of your work when I speak of letting go of your IDEA of being perfect. The mentality of “If something is worth doing it is worth doing right” can lead to not doing anything at all. So I had to change my thinking to “Anything worth doing is worth doing” ~ sometimes I am able to start an finish projects in the time that I alot myself and sometimes I don’t but I don’t beat myself up as much if I at least attempt to get it done. I have also found that my “Anything worth doing is worth doing” attitude has a wonderful way of me finishing more than I gave myself credit for being able to do.
Sometimes a shift in perspective is all we need.