When I prepared to write this post, I had a hard time picking just one movie to use. There are so many choices, and for a writer, actually being “assigned” to write an analogy is like the ice cream truck stopping at your house, the driver coming to the door, and finding out that Drumsticks are on a 100% off special today. OK, maybe not that great, but still pretty cool.

I started out thinking I’d use Jerry McGuire. After all, the main characters in that movie really followed their beliefs. Tom Cruise believed in doing business a different way, Renee Zellwiger believed in Jerry’s vision, and Cuba Gooding, Jr. believed in himself. But, it felt too obvious after spawning the phrase “Show me the money!” (Also, “You complete me” pretty much makes me gag.)

Then I thought, well, what about my favorite movie, Lady Jane? It’s all about how these two young people use their unwanted power for benevolent purposes. Sounds good until you consider a) I’m probably the only person around here whose seen it (rent it, seriously) and b) um, it’s not got a very happy ending (keep a box of tissues nearby).

I also considered:

• The Goonies (“Goonies never say die!”)
• The Princess Bride (OK, I can make some pretty good arguments for this one, including using words when you don’t know what they mean.)
• The Wizard of Oz (I’m sure there’s something to be said about how freelancing can take your life from black and white to Technicolor.)

But, in the end, I decided to go with the Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock/Dennis Hopper “classic” movie, Speed. Because it pretty accurately reflects my last two weeks in freelancing.  Ready for a big, fat analogy?

OK, so I’m admiting a lot here, but this is sort of what my last two weeks have looked like:
You step on a bus thinking it’s going to be an ordinary day. The next thing you know, some crazy person has hijacked the bus without even being on board.
-or-
You sit down to work on a nice little project you’ve been assigned, only to find out that the client—who lives across country but has your cell phone number—is totally freaking nuts.

The hijacker rigs the bus to blow up if you go below highway speeds.
-or-
Everything Crazy Client needs from you is marked “Urgent!” and you feel like you just can’t let him down. After all, you have a reputation to uphold, and you kind of feel for him.

The bus ends up driving in big circles on an airport tarmac while everyone else finds a way to safely jump ship.
-or-
The client asks for endless revisions, you feel like you’ll never get through it, and anyone who hears you complain says you should “just dump” the client.

I think there was something about the bus crashing into a subway and Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves making out in the rubble.
-or-
Since I’m still in the thick of this thing, it’s hard to see how the happy ending part is going to come about, although I suspect the “rubble” thing might be accurate.

So, if you had to compare your freelance business with a movie, which one would it be? Leave us a comment, or write about it on your own blog…Really, we’re dying of curiosity. Don’t leave us hanging.

So, it’s no big shocker when I say that I’m having a hard time keeping up with my Google Reader. I so love reading other people’s blogs, but I’m starting to get to the point where it almost feels like a luxury. I find little times to sneak them in, though. The most common is to scroll with one hand while the baby is nursing. (Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?)

As usual, I’ve found some great stuff in the last couple of week and thought I’d pass the links along to you in case you’re also too busy to go find this great advice on your own.

• This article from ProBlogger’s Darren Rowse is one of those that I’ll continue to visit over and over as I implement the ideas offered in How to Get Featured on the New York Times, CNN, CNET and Newsweek.
• Bob Younce from the Writing Journey gives some great advice in his series on How to Start Your Freelance Writing Business.  I liked this post on Education.  While you’re there, take the time to check out another posts called Recognizing Success.
• While we’re on the topic of getting started, check out Deg Ng’s Back to Basics: Step 1 How to Get Started Finding a Freelance Writing Job.
• Anne at The Golden Pencil answers all kinds of questions in her blog.  She recently tackled one submitted by KP.  I’m not KP, but we both want to know How Do I Write a Magazine Query?
• Tereece M. Clark also has something to say on the subject with her post Best Query Advice over at Freelance Writing Jobs.
• James has some good thoughts to share about why you should learn to love bookkeeping.  You can find him all over the place, but this great article is on Freelance Writing Jobs.  He’s got another gem up there from last Friday called Three Tips and a Bonus to Market Yourself. 
• Speaking of marketing, if you want to know the best marketing advice we ever got, check out our post for Sparkplug CEO’s group writing contest.  Our entry is uninspiringly called The Best Marketing Advice for Freelancers.  Don’t let the title fool you, though, it’s some damn good advice.
• At Freelance Switch, they’re asking Are You Missing the Point of Being a Freelancer?  I love the subheading “Freelancing Should Be a Springboard, Not a Treadmill.”
• John Hewitt over at Poe War has done a rather thoughtful post on how the current economic situation can affect freelance writers with Will the Recession Hurt Your Career?  If you think you’re alone in your bad freelancer habits, think again, and check out another of John’s posts called Better Writing Through Stress. (I hope it’s tounge-in-cheek.)

There are plenty of other posts “starred” in my Reader, but I’m guessing you don’t have a ton of time to ge check them all out either.  Still, the ones listed above seemed especially helpful both for newbies and those who have been freelancing for a while now.

The Best Freelance Marketing Advice We Ever Got

When the Berry-Brewer Freelance Agency came into being, you could say that my business partner and I were wet behind the ears. I had tried the freelancing game on my own a couple of years before to no avail. My downfall: I was just dreadful at marketing myself.

It turns out that Tamara wasn’t all that great at it either. So, we struggled a bit as we did everything we could to learn the ropes and become successful. We even made “marketing materials” that we thought were going to be our ticket to the big time.

Why did we design these beautiful four-color brochures that would never even get printed? Because that was our understanding of what marketing was. The grand total of our marketing knowledge could probably be summed up as follows:

Business Cards + Brochures + A Blog = Marketing

(It turns out there’s a whole lot missing from that equation.)

The most important piece of marketing advice we got turned out to this: “Align yourself with other businesses who are already marketing to the clients you want.”

For example, we worked with a wonderful marketer when we decided to rebrand our company. Billie Gaura at Rainmaker Marketing was not only good at her job, but she also “got” us. We plunked down what was (to us) a pretty penny in order to have her on our team. (Don’t let that scare you off, her rates are actually really, really good.)

In the end, we ended up being on her team. Now, when her clients need a good writer, she’s quick to say, “I know this great agency…”

Another way that this has been so beneficial to us is by teaming up with graphic designers. For example, we hired Selene Bowlby of iDesign Studios to set up our Nonprofit Perspective blog. Since then, she has referred us to two of her clients. In fact, she is the second designer to do so.

As a final example, we’re also working with a search engine optimization company. They go out and find their clients. They set up plans and packages and prices and the whole nine yards. When they’ve got all that done, they turn around and ask us to write some articles. It’s very low-fuss for us, but it brings in a nice bit of our income these days.

If there’s one thing that has made a difference in our marketing strategy, it has been to have all of these other folks marketing for us. We’re all targeting the same clients, after all, and we have the opportunity to support one another by teaming up for a great customer experience.

If you’re interested in some of the other cool marketing techniques we’ve learned, check out Eight Creative Marketing Campaigns adapted for Freelancers.

The printer isn’t even the whole prize. As a matter of fact, the idea is that any small business can put this “WorkForce Work Horse” (oh, gee, Epson should pay me to market for them, don’t you think) to work to create its own professional brand. To sweeten the pot, they’re also throwing in a ton of paper, envelopes, inks, and other stuff. The scrapbooker in me is just seething with jealousy already.

But wait, there’s more. Randa Clay Design will also design a logo for the winner’s business. Seriously, this could be just the thing you need to brand your business and take it to the next level.

So, how do you enter? Visit Wendy’s Sparkplug CEO blog for details. You get two entries for participating in her group writing project, and another for leaving a comment about how you would use the prize if you won.

Oh, and the submissions for the group writing project are going to be included in a free ebook so that we can all learn from one another.

You’d be amazed at the random search terms that bring people to Freelance Parent. Of them all, “guru.com sucks” is probably the most common. I find that a little distressing, as I kind of like Guru.

I’m continually surprised and occasionally flummoxed at the terms that Google seems to think should bring readers to this blog. For example, you wouldn’t believe how often people find us by typing in some combination of “customer” and “cry.” Seriously, we’re getting a bit of a complex about it.

Apparently a number of our readers are looking for “cheap daycares” and “daycare alternatives.” So are we, folks. So are we.

A ton of people also seem to want to know whether or not they should work for “unethical employers.” The fact that so many people have that question makes us feel even better about our decision to work for ourselves. I like to think that those typing in the term actually already know the answer and are just looking for support for their moral conscience.

I’m curious as to just how disappointed some tween girl was when she typed in “hana montana gems” and ended up at a blog about freelance writing. I’m hoping that the mom who typed “so close to potty training” felt like she got a little bit of moral support. And I can’t agree more with the person who was frustrated enough to type in “always check your work.”

It seems that there are a lot of you out there who have plans to “interview a journalist” or to “interview like a journalist,” too. Who would have thought?

I am a little surprised at the number of people who Google the term “hitch your wagon to a star.” Guess I’m not the only one who thinks it’s a catchy little slogan. Less surprising is the number of folks who arrive here via terms like “writing niche” and “writing markets.” Why, you’d almost think we optimized a post about that or something. “How to write a grant” is another one that pops up fairly often as a result of actually trying to optimize for a search term.

But the ones we did on purpose aren’t funny. Some of the ones that come up through no preplanning on our part are the most amusing. While some variation of “guru.com sucks” would be the frontrunner, things like “how to fail as a parent” are hilarious. Well, hilarious and disturbing, I suppose.

So, let’s hear it, folks.  What crazy search terms have brought people to your blogs and sites?

Literally millions of people dream of starting their own home-based businesses. In fact, millions of them do. It generally happens one of two ways:

1. You are really, really good at something – baking cookies, for example. You enjoy the heck out of it and think, “I should do this for a living!” Voila, you’re the next Mrs. Fields.

2. You really, really want to work from home and realize that you’re going to have to come up with some sort of reasonable business to start.

If you’re in category number one, well, this article isn’t for you. There are probably plenty of other posts on this blog that you will find handy when it comes to hawking your baked goods, but this isn’t one of them. Seriously, you should check them out.

If you’re in category number two, however, keep reading this one.

Don’t Choose a Home-Based Business Just Because It Looks Easy

How many times have you, personally, uttered the following: “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is?” We tend to think that this rule of thumb applies to everyone but ourselves, and that’s just not the case. There are thousands of people starting blogs, for instance, because they are sure that they’re going to be able to retire off of their earnings in the next six months. Then they discover that they have to actually learn how to set up a blog. They have to figure out how people actually make money blogging. Let’s not forget that they have to have something interesting to write about, either.

I’m not trying to say that you can’t make a gazillion dollars blogging. I am saying that you probably won’t.

But, let’s not get all glass-half-empty or anything. There are tons and tons of home-based businesses (blogging included) that can bring in a decent income. There are just some basic guidelines to observe when looking for these gems.

Choose Something that You Are Pretty Sure You Would Enjoy

Do you love to write? Maybe you should consider becoming a freelance writer. Do you love talking on the phone? You might want to start an answering service for local businesses. Would you love to spend every day outside? Perhaps a lawn-care business is the right way to go.

What I’m getting at here is that you can certainly build on the skills and interests you already have. You don’t necessarily have to go back to school to learn design because your limited vision of a work-at-home professional has always been that of a web designer. Brushing up and acquiring new skills is certainly a great idea, mind you, but it’s not the end-all-be-all for starting a home-based business. Nearly anything you enjoy doing can be turned into a business.

I know, that sounds a little far-fetched, but it’s true. Obviously, some things are going to be a little trickier than others. If watching Desperate Housewives is your favorite thing to do, then you might have to work a little harder to actually make money from your hobby, but it can be done. Let’s see . . . you could start a fan site on the internet or design clothes based on the characters or start a 1-900 line for people to get caught up on what they missed the night before, complete with theories about this season’s big secret.

Maybe you are a desperate housewife. If you love kiddos, you might want to get licensed to offer childcare. Or you could travel to people’s homes and help them babyproof. Heck, you could take your little ones along as a visual aid for that kind of business. Write those Happy Meals off as a business expense. If you spend a lot of time scrapbooking pictures of your little angels, you might find you can get paid to scrapbook pictures of someone else’s hooligans.

Make Sure You Have Time for Your Home-Based Business

Have I been learning this lesson the hard way, or what? The idea of working from home so you can spend more time with your children is wonderful and noble and blah, blah, blah; but it’s not exactly simple. If your child cries every time he is put down, then a job that requires you to type, for example, might not be all that convenient. If you can put him in a Baby Bjorn while walking dogs around the neighborhood, however, you may just have a business.

If you’re working full-time and going to school on top of that, a business with strict deadlines might be a little difficult to manage. Something with more flexibility, like scheduling haircuts in your in-home studio, might work quite well, though. Making sure that you have enough time to devote to your home-based business is going to be one of the biggest predictors of its success.

Perhaps you have a lot going on during the week, but you feel like you could really set aside your Saturdays to earn a little extra dough. A business where you help someone organize their home office could fit in just perfectly to that kind of schedule. If you plan in advance, you could have your Saturdays full for a couple of months to come. What other things could be accomplished with one long-ish sitting? A photo shoot or two could certainly be done in this amount of time, if you happen to be talented in photography.

The idea here is to determine not only how much time you have to devote to your home-based business, but also how that time is arranged. One eight-hour stretch lends itself to different opportunities than two hour stretches four times a week. It’s the same number of hours, but it’s not conducive to the same types of work.

Decide Whether to Invent the Wheel or Hitchhike

Starting your own business is awesome and rewarding and can make you a better person. (Well, it could.) It’s also a whole lot of work. Rather than doing all of the research, planning, and design – not to mention the billing, the taxes, and the delivery of products . . . Wait, when are you supposed to do the actual work? I’m confused.

In order to avoid becoming as discombobulated as the preceding paragraph, you might want to jump on some other business’ bandwagon. Do you love sales? Why not consider Tupperware or MaryKay or Avon? Sure, some of those types of businesses get a bad rap, but there are a whole lot of people who genuinely love hosting Candle Light parties or selling Body Shop products through catalogs. For the more artsy sorts, you might consider being a Creative Memories representative, for example.

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to come up with the “next big thing” that we forget about the previous big things that are still actually pretty big.

In Conclusion

Seriously, it’s the best sub-header I could come up with at the moment.

Anyway, there are literally thousands of business ideas out there. Think of them like you would a new car. Kick the tires a little. See what will fit in your budget. For heaven’s sake, don’t come across as someone having a mid-life crisis or overcompensating for a small . . . paycheck. Instead, choose something that has some zip but will still get you to your destination safely.