Comments on: On Freelancing and Feminism

By: Annette

Annette — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 01:20:14 +0000

Hard core men haters? Really? I agree that the energy behind a ’sweetheart’ is important but isn’t it entirely unprofessional to go around calling people you work with names like sweetheart, honey, sugar or anything else? I think it’s a slippery slope and would question where you draw the line. I’m friends with a lot of my clients and would shiver if anyone called me anything other than my name.

By: Wendy Sullivan

Wendy Sullivan — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:39:46 +0000

Why is this even a feminist issue? First of all, as a chick, I call people “doll” and “Dahling” all the time – wait staff, clerks, even clients, mboth genders.

Seriously, I think it’s only the hardcore man-haters that find terms of endearment offensive, probably because they themselves have no endearing qualities, and they know it.

Wendy

By: Since I’m a Professional, I Expect To Be Treated Professionally — GardenWall Publications

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 22:40:07 +0000

[...] come from the 9-5 world. One would never address a colleague as sweetheart in the offices I was in (well, ONE guy did, and he got a big slickster reputation), and one would never comment on [...]

By: Courtney

Courtney — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:04:33 +0000

Ha ha…”comfortable bubble of misanthropy”..isn’t that the truth about freelance writers! At least it is for me.

As for the sweetheart comment, I’ve been called that before and while it does irk me a little I’d say that it definitely depends on the context. If the tone was demeaning, and coming off an uncomfortable conversation it certainly would be an issue for me. Although I’m not sure how I’d handle it.

The upside and downside of owning your own business is that it’s as much about playing nice as it is about doing your work well. If the sweetheart is just a habit or a common salutation for the client, letting it slide is the way to go. There are definitely other names you could be called that would be much worse!

Courtneys last blog post..Goal Setting for the New Year

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:22:31 +0000

It wouldn’t bother me a bit to be called “sweetheart” by a client I had a good relationship with. Not a bit. Of course, I am Southern and I have to work to keep myself from referring to everyone as “Sugar” anyway.
I don’t think any of us want to be patronized, but I don’t see that client’s use of “sweetheart” as being patronizing.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:18:00 +0000

I think the important thing is to teach our daughters get along. If he called you sweetheart and then started breathing heavily, then I might call him on it.
But, I’m originally from Colorado where we refer to everyone–girls and boys, men and women–as guys. I moved to the south in 1999 and I felt about an inch tall when an older woman gave me a not-so-nice lecture when I said, “What do you guys think?” to her and another female friend. That was 7 years ago. It made me feel horrible and, believe me, much more cautious about how I address another generation. Even to this day.
And I steered VERY clear of her from then on.
Elizabeth

By: Allena

Allena — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:08:33 +0000

Kathleen- THe THIRD GRADERS at my kids school are using GAY as an insult. It makes me fly off the handle. Drives me UP A WALL. Allenas last blog post..CNN: More Businesses Using Freelancers

By: Allena

Allena — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:07:28 +0000

I must have a huge ego, cause every time you link me I can’t resist seeing why:)even though I am SUPPOSED to be working!

I got a similar comment that still bothers me. After writing it down, I realized that it’s too long for comments, so maybe I’ll blog about it.

Allenas last blog post..CNN: More Businesses Using Freelancers

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:46:38 +0000

I hate talking on the phone with clients! I am very awkward. I always hope they judge me for my writing and not the person on the phone. I guess they have so far anyway.

Sweetheart… I guess I never really thought of that term as being sexist.
I see no harm in being friendly and personal, depending on the client. I don’t think that is perpetuating any sexist stereotypes at all. You could tell the client to stop calling you that but he would probably just think you were uptight and excessively PC. It is a term of endearment in essence, no? Now terms like “slut,” “retarded,” and “gay” (as in stupid) are offensive and prejudiced for very obvious reasons.

How did you “gals” start meeting these other bloggers/freelancers? Was it through this blog? I am curious because I am new to this.

By: Genesis

Genesis — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:46:00 +0000

Well, I never talk on the phone and if I did, I think it might bother me a teensy little bit if someone called me sweetheart . . . but it really depends on the person. Some guys are just creepy when they say that. Others are demeaning. And some are just expressing genuine affection. Sounds like you got one of the latter, so it`s not a big deal.

By: Miranda

Miranda — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 13:44:02 +0000

I’ve never actually been called any of those terms of endearment by my clients. It’s not an issue. Maybe it’s because I do most of my communicating via email and I am unfailingly detached, professional and business-like on the phone because I hate, hate, hate talking on the phone.

But I think you make a good point. Having people like you is very important in business — having them like you for who you are. You are warm, and than shows through, so your clients are comfortable getting personal with you. I’m kind of cold, so my clients are all about having me get the job done — and avoiding the personal stuff.

I think that whatever style works for you, is the “right” one for your business.