People Are Strange
17
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I generally tend to stay pretty positive here on the blog, but I’m just really ticked off about something, and I have a feeling some of you will be able to commiserate. Yes, this is one of those posts that weighs more heavily on the “parent” side than the “freelance” side. Basically, I just need to rant/whine/complain for a few minutes, and you all are my somewhat captive audience.
As most of you know, I recently had my first baby. It’s been a crazy roller coaster of an experience, for sure. Thank goodness we’re past the point where I cry (multiple times) every day. That was just exhausting. 
In fact, I’ve probably only cried once in the past three weeks. Unfortunately, it was today; but I’m not going to get into it here . . .
Anyway! I’ve been trying to get back into the mode of “freelance writer” for far too long without the results I’ve been looking for. The fact of the matter is that I just have not been able to find the time to do as much work as I would like. I know I chose the work-at-home lifestyle so that I could spend time with my child, but I didn’t realize that I was going to be devoting every single waking (and sleeping, come to think of it) moment to her. It turns out that I’m not so good at typing, researching, etc. while holding a baby.
So, I got smart and lined up some help. I was inspired by Tamara’s post on hiring a mother’s helper. Not only did I hire a cousin of mine to help out a couple of hours two days a week, but I also lined up two other family members for one or two more days. I felt pretty darn pleased with myself. I’d freed up several hours a week to devote to our business, and I wouldn’t have to leave home or put my baby in daycare to do it. Sweet.
As Wayne Campbell would say, “Not!” (Ooh, my age is showing.)
It turns out that family is a lot more comfortable calling in sick or just not showing up than other people are. I am still dumbfounded by that fact. I kept holding onto the hope that someone was going to say, “Just kidding!” but it didn’t happen.
I was back to spending all day carrying Baby Dot around with me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby with all my heart, and I don’t mind snuggling with her in the slightest. On the other hand, I have bills to pay and a business partner to keep happy and all that other real-life stuff to deal with. It was time to try something new. I put up an ad for a nanny on Craigslist.
You’d think the rant was going to end here, wouldn’t you? It doesn’t.
I am shocked and appalled by some of the responses I received. I left a short ad asking for a part-time nanny for about 12 hours a week and asking for the respondents to send me an email that included their experience and rates. I believe that of the responses I received, only two people actually sent me the information I requested.
Here’s one entire response: “what are your times?”
And another: “I would love to do this could you give me your number?I’m 18 And good with babies my friend could tell you she just had a lil one on march 5Th and i use to take care of her alot. 5 bucks a hour I’m not sure what to charge lol”
Seriously? This is how people apply for a job now? The writer in me could about curl up and die after reading the second response (which was sent to me three times, by the way). And the first one? That’s just . . . ridiculous. Oh, and when I did set up interviews with the most promising candidates, one didn’t even bother to show up! Have I used the word “flabbergasted” yet? Because that’s the best descriptor I can come up with for how I feel about all of this.
Lest I come across as too whiny, I would like to say that I found a wonderful nanny. She’s 19, has a really positive disposition, and is attending my and my husband’s alma mater. She’ll be starting on Tuesday, and I am more than thrilled about it.
Still, I’m just completely surprised by so many of the things that have transpired. The fact that people flaked out on me and stopped showing up was crazy. Some of the responses I got to my ad were insane.
Knowing that someone will be here next week so I can focus and get some work done? Well, that’s just awesome.
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Christina Lemmey is the mother of two school-aged girls, a wife, and the owner of 
Oh my goodness I can entirely relate. I had my little Miriam 7 weeks ago and trying to get work done is only successful at night when my Husband is home to hold her. This means no time with him and an hour and a half to devote to writing.
Yet somehow I think that won’t be raking in the big dough. :-/
Much love and empathy, my dear! If only I could afford a helper right now… good for you for doing so!
mercurial scribes last blog post..The Labor Saga – part 2
I hear you. I’m very glad you found someone sane to work with (and that you’re at home with your baby at the same time).
Finding help, no matter what it’s for, is tough these days. Family? Forget it. Friends? Um, no. Hiring someone?
Hey. There are strange people out there.
James Chartrand – Men with Penss last blog post..Sunday Drive-By Shooting: The Chronicles of Rhodester
Oh Lorna, I am SO sorry you’ve had to go through this. Big hugs to you!! I’m glad you’ve found someone to help out, though.
Lis Garrett
I’d freed up several hours a week to devote to our business, and I wouldn’t have to leave home or put my baby in daycare to do it. Sweet.
Daycare isn’t a bad thing, you know. Many moms put their kids in daycare every day in order to put food on the table for the family.
I am very glad that you finally got something and someone that would work! As I started reading thru the article, I was going to suggest looking into a Nanny thru a service, but it seems that you have found one already. Another suggestion is that since high schoolers and college students are out of school, try to get one of them on board (seems like you did this already).
I am surprised by the responses you received. It does seem that people have become much less formal these days, especially when applying for jobs.
In terms of what your family did…..I am truly sorry, except that my wife had similar experiences when he stayed at home. Family can sometimes forget that you REALLY do need that time, they think of it more as doing you a favor (in my opion).
Perhaps look into putting an add out there for help thru an organization you are in (church or rotary club or leads group, etc).
Good luck!
Jolly Green Dads last blog post..Longevity and Healthy Aging
My son is four years old and my daughter will be 15 years old in a few weeks. When my son was born, I decided to stay home and freelance write, but to make ends meet I began providing child care in my home. Now, I freelance write in my “spare” time to try and get my business up and running. What does this have to do with your post? Well, I can commiserate with you from the flipside of the child care coin. When potential clients call, the first thing they ask is how much do you charge or what are your hours rather than what experience I have (a background in child care and an education in early childhood development). I’ve only had a handful of clients ever ask for references; very few ever check to see if my license is valid. More potential clients than I can count don’t bother to show up for a scheduled interview (which I conduct in the evening, after child care hours). I’ve dealt with nonpayment, late payment and parents that bring their children with a 101 or higher temp and/or crusty eyes and are visibly annoyed when I turn them right around and send them home. I am really happy that I have been able to stay home with my son and be available for my daughter after school/soccer/fight-with-BFF. But I completely understand where you’re coming from. People are strange when it comes to child care all the way around. Oh the stories I could tell!
Kathy Scovills last blog post..Winehouse Arrested Following Novello Nom
My heart goes out to you. My daughter is 19 mos, and I work at home with part-time help. None of my friends have this arrangement–most don’t work at all, which is something I still struggle with.
We started with a friend watching my daughter, but I realized that employing a friend is bad business. Since then, we’ve had a string of (wonderful) PT nannies that have had to leave us for health reasons, job reasons, new-baby-of-her-own reasons, and school reasons. Our current one has been with us since January and we’re thrilled with her.
Each time we have to re-hire, we question whether this is worth it. Should I stop working entirely (giving up the needed money I bring in, as well as my really great work)? Should I get a full-time job (giving up the precious time I have with my daughter)? And the answer is always no–for us, being a WAHM with PT care is the best option. I come out of my office just as Buglet wakes up from her nap, and we have time in the afternoon together. At the same time, I love my work, and I love working at home.
There are times it’s hard to be home–when Buglet is having a lot of fun in the backyard or is crying–but it’s wonderful if you’re nursing, or if baby is sick, or if something goes wrong.
Again, different things work for everyone, and working at home with help is not always easy, but it can be wonderful and rewarding, despite the challenges. Thank you for sharing your experiences and best of luck to you.
@mecurial scribe: Yes! That’s how I’ve been doing it. Husband comes home, I hand off the baby and work like a fiend until she’s hungry or just can’t be consoled by anyone but Mama. It’s not very efficient, but it’s better than nothing, right?
@James: I was just shocked by the strangeness of it all. Thank goodness we’re moving forward.
@Lis: It’s been annoying, but there are far bigger problems in the world, eh? Still, I’m so excited for my nanny to start.
@Kathy: I worked in a daycare for a few months, and I couldn’t believe the things parents would do . . . like sending sick kids to daycare to infect everyone else. I mean, I get *why* you would be tempted, but it just seems sort of morally wrong, you know. (I was sick the entire time I worked there because of it.)
@Susannah: I’m quite certain that, at this age anyway, having someone here in the house with me at home is the best way for us to go. It’s less expensive than daycare, I’m close to my baby girl all day, and I have direct supervision of what’s happening. Plus, I was always freaked out by the idea of my baby’s “firsts” happening when she was at daycare and I wouldn’t be there to witness them.
I have a part-time nanny for 20 hours per week. I have three kids so it is much cheaper than daycare, and I do feel so much better about it. I know what she is doing with them, and if someone gets hurt or sick, I am right there.
Oh, and I really try to MAXIMIZE the time she is here. I know it is a great day when I can bill 6 or 7 hours for the 4 hours she is here.
Good luck, it will be great!
I´m sorry you´ve had such a rough time of it. It´s great that you are going to have help. There is definitely a limit to how much you can get done with a little one.
My youngest spent his first six months at my feet in his bouncy chair, being rocked with one foot while I typed.
Now he´s almost a year old and you wouldn´t believe the mischief I let those two get into just so they stay busy and I can work!
Genesiss last blog post..Dealing with Work at Home Mom Guilt
I’ve struggled with this same dilemma for almost two years now. I dumped most of my income last year into a nanny who worked half-days two days a week last year but still managed to call in sick once a week. I finally found a wonderful mom in a nearby neighborhood with a son of her own. My kids love going over there to play two days a week (and my son goes an extra day every once in a while when my daughter is in pre-school) when I’m extra busy. She’s so reasonable and I feel we finally have some balance. My son always came and found me whenever someone was watching the kids here. Big hugs to you, and try not to stress too much!
I feel for you and barely know what to say, really.
My children are older now, but I worked part time OUT of the home when they were young.
The reasons people mentioned above are why I chose a childcare center that has been around for ~20 years: simply reliable.
So we’ve had part time arrangments with the same center for ~9 years now, total, and they are like a second family to us.
Of course, that’s the reason most people want to WAH- NOT to put their kids in childcare. But by the time I went freelance, there was no way I would trust anyone else in the world with my kids other than this center.
Family/friends/ even most nannies don’t stick around for 10 years like this center has!
My youngest is almost ready for Kindergarten and I am having severe issues about not being involved with this center. It will leave a HUGE hole in my life.
Lorna:
Thank you for the reality check! I too am flabbergasted by the lack of responsible help that is out there. My children are a little older, but I do understand completely.
All I want to say is this: we have a responsibility to make sure our children don’t “flake” out like that. Train your child to have respect for herself and for others. Give her the necessary tools to be a hard worker and a responsible citizen.
I can’t tell you how frustrating is it to see such incompetence in a society that has so many resources. Arrrrgh!
Boy do I ever feel your pain!
I went through a lot of depression after my daughter was born, and then added to the problem by working full time and writing nearly full time on top of that…I would have given an arm (or at least an eye!) for a nanny.
Kudos to your for finding such an elegant solution! I hope it works out wonderfully and that you get everything accomplished that you want to!
Oh, Lorna!
I feel terrible that you’ve had to go through all this! I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’m thrilled that you’ve found a trusting nanny and that you’ll be able to focus on writing now–without worrying about baby Dot.
*smiles and hugs*
Michele
P.S.
People are strange, that’s for sure! I’ve really learned to just hit the delete button on my e-mail.
Micheles last blog post..WordPress: Our New Home
Thanks to everyone who has added their two cents’ worth and their words of encouragement. The new nanny started this week, and it’s been a dream!