Michelle

I saw an old friend at the store. I tried to duck down the bandaid aisle because I told her I would send her information but I haven’t done it yet. Unfortunately, she calls to me!

Me: Oh, Kath, I totally owe you that info about pregnant women and litterboxes.

Kathy: What?

Me: You know, I emailed you and said I would send you the stuff about that whatcha-thingy disease now that you’re pregnant.

Kathy: Um, I’m not pregnant.

Me: Yes you are. You facebooked it?

Kathy: NO!

Me: And then I tweeted it to get someone to send me that feline information.

Kathy: You tweeted what?

Me: Something about you being pregnant and a request to send me links to put together info for you on that cat thing. Didn’t you see the @’s?

Kathy: Which account did you use?

Me: I don’t know. Oh my god, I just remembered, Mickey’s CAT is pregnant. That’s who is pregnant!

Kathy: Okay, so now I know why Cetoria has been asking me if I’ve been needing naps. Hey, that reminds me, you did promise me the template from that document you used to write Cetoria’s business plan.

Me: Right! I can’t find the file, it might have been on the old PC that the teenagers ruined trying to download some “chat with Russian women” interface.

Kath: I heard your son got some Russian woman pregnant. I think it was on Facebook. Pretty sure that’s where I read it.

Me: Crap, then I can’t ask him to empty out the cat box for a long tim.

I got called into the CEO’s office and the only excuse I had was IOS!

“IOS?” the CEO asked.

“Yes I said… and let me tell you why:”

I came into the office today, like any other day. Sat down in my 6×6 “workspace” that you refuse to call a cube (last I checked that’s definitely a cube!). As if the fluorescent lighting wasn’t enough, you’ve equipped said “work space” with not one, but two 22″ monitors: I guess in hopes that it will make me twice as productive and will allow me to absorb twice as much useless information but really is just a driving force behind my IOS!

I log in using my “top secret password” (that every other employee uses as well) to my email. Of course, over night I’ve received 50 new messages. Ten from you… pretty much back to back — what, you couldn’t put all that information into one email?

Then I get on Twitter. Tweet Tweet.

Not just one account…but five. One for each of our brands. Between the @’s the DM’s and # I’ve already lost my mind and its only 8:18.

Coffee break!

The breakroom even has monitors flashing in my face with the latest company news and updates. So much for the “break”. (The coffee sucks by the way!)

Back to the cube–excuse me, workspace.

“Brr-ing..”

Nope not the phone. Instant message.

Someone asking for a report. One that I probably forgot to do because I’m slowly losing my mind from IOS.

“ll get right on that.”

RRRRING!

Incoming call.

“Good morning, this is L…”

OP UP: Webinar reminder: 8:30 am.

Brr-ing.

Report. Pronto!

RRRRING.

POP UP:

TWEET!

Brr-ing.

RRRING.

TWEET TWEET!

Now I’m writing this message from my bed.

Was asked to take ½ day off to “clear my mind” (yea, from all the information that’s bombarded at me everywhere I turn!).

Just me and my cell ph….RRRING!