No Longer a Mother in Denial

This is a repost of a post I did on Wendy Piersall’s blog when it was eMomsatHome.

I’m ready to come clean. I’ve been feeling guilty for quite a while, but I’m ready to tell the world.

I work from home. And I am a mom. But I am not a work-from-home-mom. My son goes to daycare while I work.

There. I said it.

In this world of accessibility, a trend has developed of mothers working from home so that they can spend time with their children. It may work for some, but not for me. My son is two, which means that he is the center of his world, and doesn’t let me get anything done if he is at home with me. It’s hard to run a marketing firm when Elmo and Dora are my biggest (non-paying) clients.

So I send him to school. We’re both happier for it. He’s learning three languages and developing social skills I couldn’t provide him, and I am able to focus 100% on growing my business. The perk comes when I am able to quit work at 3 and pick him up for a fun afternoon, or attend his school parties. I don’t have to ask off work when he has unidentified bumps all over his body for a week.

But I don’t keep him at home, which is a common misconception to people I meet. When I say I run a marketing firm out of my home, the inevitable response is, “Oh, that’s great! So you get to stay home with your son?”

And this question has made me feel guilty every time. Until now. I am certain there are other mothers out there, for whom being a parent and running a business are mutually exclusive. It’s time to be proud of your situation and stop cowering from mothers who choose to work and keep their children at home. Your situation is unique, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. If you are able to devote all of your energy to one project at a time, everyone will be happier.

Find the situation that works for you. If you have an infant, you will probably find it easier to get work done, as they tend to be in immobile mode most of the time. If you have a toddler as I do, don’t feel guilty if you send them off to school. They will learn more than you can teach them there, and you can make your schedule fit around their activities so that you can be more involved.

My situation works for me, and yours should work for you. Be at peace with the decision you make, and know that your child is happy too.