The membership site I’m referring to is Mom Masterminds.

Mom Masterminds is a rich internet marketing learning center and private networking forum that you pay to access for 12 consecutive months, and then graduate into lifetime free access.

Launched in June of 2004, MM was a partnership between Alice Seba (the Internet Marketing Sweetie) and myself.    Alice stepped away from the project when she widened her target market and embraced the Sweetie brand, althrough she remains as a Special Advisor to this day.

I have also been partnered with Lynette Chandler. She has been the technological brains behind the site since the beginning.  She keeps the scripts updated and speaking well with each other – something I would have no clue on how to do.  She brings a darned sharp marketing mindset too.

A Membership Site When Membership Sites Weren’t Cool

Yes, we launched Mom Masterminds in a time when paid membership sites were rare in the mom market. There was in fact quite a few negative comments being spouted around the work at home mom community. 

• There’s already so much information available for free, nobody will pay for it.
• Why would anyone join a paid forum when there are hundreds out there for free?
• Cheaper paid mom associations already exist, nobody is going to pay those prices. (We launched at $24.97/mo)
• Moms are too cheap frugal for a paid membership program.

I’ll give Alice all the credit for ignoring the naysayers and plowing forward to launch MM.  I’m just proud to have been able to come along for the ride in those early years.

For sure, there are still some out there who view MM with negativity.  They would still point at the same old ‘free vs paid’ complaints.  At this point however, I think we have to chalk it up to sour grapes – because our track record and many long time member testimonials speak to our value and success as a training ground.

We knew that we would provide our members with great learning resources and advice.  But I had to admit early on that I never expected the amazing culture that developed on our forums.  The fact that every member had to pay to be there lifted expectations and influenced the nature of the networking.

Cooperation, encouragement and support was coming from everyone – partnerships, both short term and long term were birthed.   Courage was found.  New steps were taken.  It was – and is – an amazing place for a marketing mom to build and grow her business.

So… I’m proud to blow out the candles on our delicious fifth anniversary cake – and look forward to the next five years with as much excitement and anticipation as ever.

By the way, you can help us with our celebration if you’re willing.  We’re giving away Five Free Lifetime Memberships and we’d really like them to go to five truly deserving moms in business.  If you know a mom who is serious about growing her business but just doesn’t have the cash to invest into a paid learning opportunity right now, stop by our blog and tell us about her.  We may just choose her!

I asked Aurelia Williams of Real Life Coaching to pop in with some advice for our Sparkplugging Interns.  They have taken on a big project working with me and the other Sparkplugging Authors for ten long weeks – on top of their own busy lives and businesses.  I want to make sure to give them extra encouragement along the way and I couldn’t think of anyone better to help me do so than Aurelia.

Are you ready to learn the secret to success?

If you follow the five simple suggestions below, you will find that you will be able to accomplish more success than you ever thought possible!

Step One: Keep your eye on the prize

You know how it goes. You start a brand new project and are filled to the brim with enthusiasm. Some time passes and you are still happy about the project, but you start noticing the difficult things.  More time passes, and you’re no longer enthusiastic at all, but keep going because you know it has potential. Finally, you start to question why the heck you are doing this in the first place. Then it happens.  A new project pops up. You feel excitement start to build again, but for this new project instead of your current one. You decide this one will be MUCH better, and jump ship to pursue this new, exciting opportunity. Sound familiar?

Fortunately, there is an easy remedy for this. Commitment!

I know, that seems too simple, but it’s true. Setting clear, realistic goals and vowing to remain committed no matter what it takes. If you continually bail out on yourself and your goals, you are training yourself to believe that your goals are not important. And as your goals seem less important, you will be tempted to quit before you even start. Instead, set daily reminders about your goals so they stay fresh in your mind and you will stay encouraged to achieve them. Make the resolve to finish what you start – no matter what – and you will be shocked at how much you can accomplish!

Step Two: Manage work efficiently and avoid procrastination

If I could only tell you one thing about how to manage your workload, it would be to make a plan and stick to it as much as possible! Proper planning is the key to saving time and getting things done. Prepare ahead of time, ideally the night before. Make a prioritized list of things that need to be done on a day to day basis and resolve to finish those tasks no matter what!

For some people, completing all the tasks on their prioritized list will be easy. However, others may run into procrastination issues. Why do people procrastinate?  Often times, they are trying to avoid a difficult task. It’s no secret that tasks that take longer are less desirable than those that can be completed quickly.

Many people decide to do desirable tasks first, regardless of how important these tasks are. The problem with this is that people sometimes fall into the trap of unconsciously allowing themselves to be consumed by enjoyable “busywork” instead of more important tasks.

Making a resolve to finish the biggest, most important tasks first (enjoyable or not!) will give you a sense of accomplishment that will make the other tasks on your list seem like a breeze. Do this, and you will keep procrastination at bay!

However, others procrastinate for deeper reasons. Sometimes procrastination is due to fear of failure. No one wants to be embarrassed by a lack of knowledge or skills, so it’s easy to try to avoid doing those tasks that make you afraid or uncomfortable. However, it’s important to realize that motivation comes from within. Coming to grips with personal issues is the first step in realizing why you procrastinate. Once you do so, you can start taking steps to chance.

Step Three: Learn from criticism

Let’s face it, it can be hard to hear someone tells us our faults! But criticism can be much more useful than you may think, and is one of the keys in you growing to reach your full potential. It really is in your best interest to accept the criticism, apply the suggestions, and grow throughout the process instead of allowing yourself to become defensive or upset. This may be difficult to understand and practice, but I guarantee it will help you. If you learn to accept criticism, you will begin to see yourself grow in ways you never thought possible.

Step Four: Keep a positive outlook

In order to achieve success in life, you need to think positively about yourself and your chances for success. Many people mistakenly believe that being positive and thinking optimistically is just part of someone’s personality – either you’re born an optimist or you’re not! However, this is simply not the case. Being optimistic and motivated is an acquired habit, a skill that can be learned and developed just like any other skill.

In order to become optimistic and motivated, you need to become conscious of your “inner voice.” Listen to the words that you say to yourself in any situation. When you catch yourself saying something negative, immediately stop and put a positive spin on it. So a negative thought like “I hate it that this bad thing happened to me!” could be changed into “I understand that this bad thing has happened to me so I can learn and grow from it.” Try doing this for a month, and I think you will be absolutely amazed at how energized you are about not only your work, but your life in general!

Step Five: Leave time each day for reflection

In today’s busy world, it is all too easy to get caught up in going through the motions. However, truly successful people know that reflection is one of the best ways to keep yourself on the fast track to success.

Try this exercise:

At the end of the day, try to reflect back on the hardest part of the day, then ask yourself the following questions:

• What did I learn from that experience that will help me in the future?
• How can I that experience to help improve myself or my future?
• How can I do better next time around?

This will allow you to see that no matter what happens, it always can be used as a learning opportunity and springboard for bigger and better things. After you finish reflecting on the hardest part of the day, reflect on positive aspects of the day. Doing these daily reflection exercises truly will keep you focused, positive, and committed to your goals and you will find yourself achieving your success faster than you ever thought possible.

In conclusion, success is not the mystery that some people seem to think it is. I’ve laid out great steps for you to take towards your success and I’m not going to lie to you — It will take hard work and dedication on your part to do these steps day in and day out. It will be a long road, but the reward will be so worth it. By doing these 5 steps, I have no doubt in my mind that you will accomplish any goal you set and will be an enormous success at whatever you do.

She sent me an amusing little note about not knowing what Sparkplugging is all about:

I need to read Sparkplugging more. Somehow I missed the shift from moms stuff to business startup stuff. I am struggling with the challenges of starting [and running] a biz more or less by myself. Some days I rock and some days I’m scattered. Today I am exhausted & staying in bed with NPR & coffee!!!

I immediately recognized where Laura is at in her business – not only because I have been there myself, but because it is one of the most common problems I hear from many of our readers.

Laura is:

• Feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work it takes to run a successful business
• Locked into earning a living by billing out her hours, and unable to bill more hours
• Having difficulty delegating any work because even hiring a freelance assistant takes away time and resources from her ability to make money
• Is trapped doing work that she isn’t particularly good at by doing work like bookkeeping, filing, and administrative tasks, because these things have to be done and there is no one else to do it
• And most of all, is getting down on herself because she thinks that in order to be a successful business owner, she should be on top of every task at any given moment

While the last one might seem like a simple bothersome symptom, in fact, it is THE most frequently mentioned challenge with every business owner I have heard from in the 2 and a half years I have run this site. Some call it self-doubt, others call it fear – I call it the Impostor Syndrome:

From Wikipedia:

Regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study or what external proof they may have of their competence, those with the Impostor Syndrome remain convinced internally they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are actually frauds. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.

And while it is frequently cited as more common among women, I can’t say that I’ve noticed that as much. Plenty of men have mentioned they struggle with this too. But one thing that nearly all of these people have in common is this: they think they are the only one facing this issue, and that they are alone as they find a way to struggle to overcome it.

Laura and I had an amazing conversation-turned-coaching-session last week because I didn’t want to see my dear friend beating herself up over something that is much less of a problem than it seems to be. There are some very specific things that any business owner can do to get out of this trap which is so incredibly common that I think we could call it the Solo Business Owner Syndrome – and oh, my gosh, I think I just came across a book idea that I should pitch.

On Friday, I’ll put up part two of this post with the specific solutions she and I talked about – but I want to hear from you!

Can you relate to the challenges that Laura is facing?

What other challenges do you think are related to this constellation of problems that face solo business owners?

And what things have any of you done to work through them?

I can recall many moments like that with my grandfather. My grandfather loved birds. He used to sit for hours watching finches fly in and out of the five story bird house he built. The bird house was on the end of a pole about 30 feet above the ground. We’d lay back in lawn chairs and just watch the birds.

Every fall I’d help my grandfather take down the bird house for cleaning, repair and storage. It was huge and so high up that he’d developed a rather elaborate pulley system to bring it down.

One such day, when I was 8, we were lowering the bird house. I was holding one of the main pulley ropes. Under the weight of the bird house, my hands became strained and began to hurt. I told my grandfather, “My hands hurt, I can’t hold it.”

His response, “Don’t focus on your hands hurting. What you focus is on expands. So if you think about the pain in your hands, it’ll get bigger. Instead, focus on getting the bird house down.”

You know he was right, of course. I stopped focusing on how much my hands hurt and the pain got less. I held the rope until the bird house was safely down.

I’ve never forgotten that phrase: what you focus on expands. Through the next three decades I found it very useful. But not only useful, I’ve found it to be truth. Every time I focus on things that are negative or painful, that thing increases. And when I focus on beauty or love that’s what increases.

So how does this relate to business?

Simple, really. When you run a business you’re faced with problems and decisions all the time. Some problems can get so large that they can stop us from not only making good decisions, but making decisions at all. That’s why I consider the problem but I don’t focus on it. Rather, I focus on the solution.

It’s easy to focus on the problem – especially the large ones. They get in your line of sight and seem to become like a wall that won’t let you look through it.

But there’s always a way to look beyond the problem; to alter your focus so that you can find the space outside the problem. I focus there. Then, I focus on finding the solution from outside the constraints of the problem. I don’t let the limits of the problem hem me in to one way of thinking. Rather, I let my focus expand to the point that it contains the problem and more. And it’s in the more that I most often find the solution.

What you focus on really does matter. Give it a try and see what you think.

Have you had any experiences of an unexpected wisdom? How have they changed your life? Your business?

This week we are launching two channels I am particularly pleased to present to you. Both of them will cover some of the things that I used to cover on my own blog, so I do believe you will want to read and/or subscribe to them, as I’ll be writing a bit less on these topics.

Let’s just skip to the intros. I’m too excited to babble on about anything else.

Ask the Coach :: 3 Business Coaches, a Wealth of Business Answers

Regular readers might remember when I used to take on coaching clients. Readers here loved both my coaching insights on my blog as well as one on one. As much as I have always loved coaching people, Sparkplugging became a full-time job. I had to start turning away clients.

Ever since then, I have felt a little hole here on this site. I have relied so heavily on both business and life coaching in my own life I felt this site was incomplete without this resource for our readers.

I hand-picked the coaches involved in Ask the Coach, Marla Tabaka, Starla Sireno and Edward Mills. All of them have coached me at some point in time. They are a tremendous resource and they will answer your questions for free on Ask the Coach.

WAHM 2.0 :: This isn’t Your Mother’s Work at Home Business

When I realized I had to shift the focus of my own blog, I realized I couldn’t continue to focus on Moms anymore. I had a really hard time letting that go – in fact, only felt OK with that decision when the amazing Kelly McCausey agreed to write a blog for WAHMs on Sparkplugging.

Kelly has been a leader and advocate for work at home moms online for way longer than I have. And Kelly has some seriously great experience and internet business advice. She has produced WAHM Talk Radio since November of 2003.

Kelly knows that being a work at home mom today means something different than it did back in the day. And she is seriously one of the best people out there to help you get started.

I couldn’t be prouder of these two new blogs! Please give our new authors a warm welcome and get some great advice from them in the process.

I think we can all agree that even though we work at home, we can still have “bad days at the office”. Some days we just get discouraged. Others we wonder what the hell we are doing. And on the really bad days, we question whether we are really doing the right thing and how the heck we will ever turn it around.

There are times when calling it quits is the right decision – just like there are times when it’s the right decision to leave a job and move onto something else. Other times, we just need to overcome some bad emotions or limiting beliefs so that we can keep going until the light at the end of the tunnel starts to appear. This post is for those of you who want to keep going when you just can’t seem to get past a certain hurdle or obstacle.

I believe very strongly in the following two presuppositions about people:

1. The resources you need to succeed are already within you
2. There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states of mind

How do we access unresourceful states of mind? It’s simple – we ask ourselves unresourceful questions.

Allow me to give you some examples of unresourceful questions:

1. What am I doing wrong?
2. Why do I keep messing up?
3. Why can’t I get the results I want to achieve?
4. What am I missing?

Think about the answers you would give yourself to such questions. You are telling your mind to go looking for answers that will continue to reinforce your doubt, frustration, and generally crappy state of mind.

The power to access better resources is found by asking questions that force us to look for great, empowering answers.

So, without further ado, here are 10 resourceful questions to ask of yourself:

1. What would I have to believe about myself in order to know with 100% certainty that this business is the right path for me?
   ~
2. What would I have to believe about myself and my business in order to feel excited about the challenge of overcoming the current obstacle in front of me?
   ~
3. What am I faced with right now that is actually a great opportunity for growth?
   ~
4. What would I have to believe about this opportunity in order to take on this challenge with excitement and gratitude for the chance to make a change?
   ~
5. If I were to tackle this day [week, month!] with my most creative resources available to me, what would I do, think and believe differently than I am doing in this moment?
   ~
6. What would have to happen in order for me to feel as though my business is a success no matter what? What can I do now in order to make that happen?
   ~
7. What resources are available to me that I haven’t tapped into yet to build my business – are there friends, business acquaintances, or books that I know for certain can help me take my business to the next level?
   ~
8. What things do I already know about my business that will make me successful that I haven’t done yet – and what would make me feel excited about implementing a plan of action to do them immediately?
   ~
9. What accomplishments have I already achieved in my business – and what lessons can I take from those past successes that will enable me to repeat them?
   ~
10. If my future self could travel back in time to this moment and give me some advice, what would she/he say that would completely energize and motivate me to succeed?

Remember – the power of a great question lies in a very, very key component – you have to go searching for the great answer within yourself.

“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”

But once you’re already outside of your comfort zone, what does it feel like? How do you know you’re stretching yourself?

I’ll tell you from first hand experience – a lot of the time it feels like $hit. Since I have spent a good amount of time outside of my own comfort zone, let me help you to recognize when you’re outside of yours, just so you know why you feel like crap.

1. You second guess your decisions.
2. Your critics, once easily ignored, suddenly rent way more head space than they deserve.
3. Your old plan of action may now seem overly simplistic.
4. Formerly non-existent “What If’s” suddenly spring to mind. A lot.
5. Before you got outside of your comfort zone, all you could think about was getting your goal, but once outside of it, all you can think about is what will happen if you don’t reach your goal.
6. You become a textbook example of the infamous “Impostor Syndrome“.
7. Words start rearranging themselves in your head – for example, the phrase “I can do this!” somehow becomes “Can I do this?”
8. You sometimes wonder WTF to do next.
9. “Positive Thinking” suddenly doesn’t quite seem so, well, “realistic” as it used to
10. Digg Trolls magically appear to be more intelligent than they really are.

So what do you do now?

Here’s the most important thing to keep in mind (no matter what else you wish you weren’t keeping in mind):

If you were strong enough to push yourself outside of your comfort zone, you have to trust yourself to get through to the other side.

So here’s ten more tips to get you through what we could call “growing pains”:

1. Talk about your fears or concerns with someone out loud – the doubting voices in your head sound a lot more stupid when they come out of your mouth.
2. In the big picture, even if you really screw up, you’ll be grateful for it at some point.
3. Being outside of your comfort zone by nature doesn’t feel good, so feeling scared or crappy doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong.
4. NOW would be a really good time to recap your accomplishments to yourself. Yeah, as in, right now.
5. No matter how hard it is to think positive, you really gotta do it anyway, even if it doesn’t feel very encouraging.
6. If you really get off track, you’ll know. Really.
7. There’s a reason the saying “Fake it ‘Till You Make it” is still in use after all these years.
8. If you’ve gotten this far, you already know that listening to your fears is a dumb move. So don’t start now.
9. Nobody ever did anything great without taking a risk.
10. And of course, don’t forget that a strong alcoholic drink shared with your BFF will always knock some sense into your head.

Now everything was okay – no one was hurt and they weren’t late getting out of the house. It’s just there was a huge thunderstorm ready to unleash it’s fury. You could feel it in the air, the winds were high, the sky that dark, bluish gray you see just before the heavens open up and drench the earth. She wanted to get in the car before it rained began falling – which began only moments later.

But my wife’s reaction caused an interesting reaction from my three year-old. Usually, A’esha loves rain and thunderstorms. But as she came down behind mom, she was terrified. And as I scooped her up and carried her to the car, she was frantic – “Daddy, get me in the car. I scared. I don’t want to get wet.” She was almost in tears, shaking.

Of course, my wife and I got both kids in the car and buckled them in just as the first huge drops of rain were pelted my back. After getting my son in the car, my wife rushed back to the house to get her purse, snacks, diaper bag – you know, the usual. I, in turn, kissed my daughter and headed for the porch.

Then I felt a twinge in my heart. I immediately turned back around and headed for the car. I jumped in the passenger’s seat just as a deluge released from the sky. I got settled and looked back at both my kids. My son was sort of in shock, not knowing what was going on. And as the first flash of lightening and crackle of thunder hit, I looked to my daughter who was still quite unsettled and scared.

It took a few minutes of discussion, a few kisses and some nuzzling, but she came out it. No longer afraid, she began down her long series of questions about the rain, the lightening, thunder, etc. And the three of us sat together, watching the rain fall and the sky flash as we waited for mom’s return.

After they left, I started thinking…What happened that made my daughter so terrified? What was going on that made her forget how much she loves storms; loves playing in the rain?

Thinking about it, it was clear that it was my wife’s reaction. The way she expressed her hurriedness of wanting to get the kids in the car, safe and dry, at the very last minute before we would all be drenched, created panic in our little girl. And if I didn’t return to the car, she would have been sitting there, scared, alone with her brother as the feeling and sounds of the storm pounded down on her little psyche.

I know I went back because she needed me. She needed me to make everything okay. She needed someone to show her she was safe and that there was really nothing to be afraid of. She couldn’t do it on her own – nor should she have too at three years-old. And in the security of her daddy, she could let it all go.

Now I’m not sharing this story to make me into a hero – nor highlight my wife’s reaction. Rather, I share this story because it dawned on me that many of us run our businesses like this. We get spooked by something. And unless we get help, we often don’t recover.

That’s why I feel it’s important to get help with your business. Not just help with marketing or strategic planning. But with your personal process around developing a business as well.

Starting a business – running a business – can be scary. What I’ve seen over the years is it’s important to work with and through our fears, our insecurities and our feelings of lack just as much as on our marketing message.

If I hadn’t returned to the car and helped A’esha, she might have internalized her fears of storms. Those fears, if not overcome, would play out in her life – they would control her to some degree.

It’s no different with your business. If you have aspects of yourself that are holding on to limiting or negative beliefs and emotions, they will manifest. They will limit success, reduce opportunities and help create chaos in your business.

My advice, get some help. Work with someone who can help you through your fears, anxieties and insecurities. I’m not talking about finding a good therapist. Rather, find a coach of some sort who specializes in helping people overcome the issues that limit their success. It will make being successful that much easier.

Hi, I’m Dawud Miracle. Professionally, I’m a blog and marketing consultant, business coach, educator and web developer who helps people use their websites to grow their business. I’m also a devoted husband and father to two, soon to be three, children. Please let me know if I can help you in any way.

When I worked outside of the house, I was a pretty well-dressed Mama – but I had a total girl moment last night at Target as I realized just how much fashions can change in a year or two… and I suddenly felt like a high-schooler wondering what the heck I should wear to look professional, laid back, and cool all in one.

GAH. I used to like shopping. This was torture. I was embarrassed for myself.

Anyway, if I can live blog the conference at all I will, but I expect to go as unplugged as possible to be able to hang out with my tribe and get some real adult interaction.

I wiggle in my jeans at that thought.

If you’re going, p.l.e.a.s.e. stop me and introduce yourself. Have your URL handy because I’m really bad with names! And be sure to drop into the session in which I am speaking with my co-mentoring cohort Liz Strauss along with Elizabeth Perry and Collette Ellis about mentoring, finding mentors, and creating your own learning opportunities!

Is it really about money when we hold ourselves back?  I’d love to hear what you think about it!

So I’m going to go easy on myself for today’s Monday Motivation. You are free to do the same or whip my unproductive butt today!

So how does Monday Motivation work? Simple.

1. Tell us what you’re going to do.
2. Tell us what will motivate you to get it done.
   (either your reward or your ‘leverage’).

For example, today I will:

• Write two more blog posts
• Clean out my inbox
• Schedule a conference call
• Write a marketing email for a client

If I don’t get this stuff done, I will give away my five favorite pairs of jeans away to my daughter (I only have 6-7 pairs!!) – never to be worn again!

Want to kick your own productive butt into gear today? Simply leave a comment with what you will be getting done today, or throw up your own post – then go get to work!

(and damn, that makes me sound old! )

One of the heartbreaks of maintaining this kind of attitude happens when I come into contact with those who could be called, “Seekers”. These are people who are always looking for answers, and are very good at “Seeking” but not “Finding”. I’d go so far as to say that they are addicted to the hunt, but not the kill (in fact, they seem to avoid the kill!).

I say this only because I know it from experience:

• This next book will have the answer to my problem about ____.
• I only need to go to this seminar, and then I will have conquered ____.
• If I only had ____ skill set, then I could really take my business to the next level.

Notice I mixed both business and personal ideas there. I did that on purpose.

I think we all know someone like this:

• The Self Help Junkie
• The News Junkie
• The Info Product Junkie
• The Seminar Junkie
• The Networking Junkie
• The Relationship Junkie

These people are on the hunt. I can guess at their motivation, only because I have felt it myself. They want that last little “Missing Piece”: they are looking for something outside of themselves to make them feel enough, like they have finally ‘got it’.

Along the way, I found a quote in a book that kicked my “Junkie” ass into shape. I can’t even remember where I read it. The first time, even the fifth time I read it, I didn’t ‘get’ it. I glossed over it thinking once again, that the next bit of info would be the one I needed to really ‘get it’. This quote has stayed with me for years, and quite possibly has been the one that has changed my actions the most – both inside and out:

Before you look for “new” Truths, put into practice those you already know.

This has pretty obvious personal development implications. But I’ve been recently experiencing the interesting business implications of this statement.

As a natural giver, (uh, hello, I’m a mom!!) sometimes it is difficult to draw the line between what we give to our clients/readers/communities for free, vs. what we charge for. Many of my clients have the same problem as well, because I work with mostly entrepreneurs.

Where do you draw the line when:

• Your top client requests endless revisions or hand-holding?
• Your friends want you to offer your valuable consulting for free?
• You work to build a high quality online community yet trolls come in to advertise or become poster children for court-mandated anger management programs?
• Your clients pay for coaching or consulting, but don’t implement your suggestions?
• You offer up ALL of your expertise on your blog, when you could be writing a book or information product?

Pair up natural “Givers” with natural “Seekers”, and it’s a recipe for disaster. At some point, the giver will feel taken advantage of. At some point, the seeker will feel resentful that what was once freely given is now being withheld.

I have a couple of side projects that have taken that exact turn towards disaster. It’s a sad and difficult decision to make – I still want to help these people!! But when they refuse to help themselves, am I really serving their highest good by continuing to offer my time and expertise for free? It is eating up energy for the projects that I DO want to develop and grow, like this blog and a few others.

Indeed we are NOT serving the highest good of our clients if we continue to give to the “Seekers”.

Why?

Because we are perpetuating the lie of the “Missing Piece”. That missing piece is not something you, nor I, nor any book, nor any seminar can give to these people. That missing piece can only be found within ourselves. If we continue to perpetuate the lie, we’re robbing these “Seekers” of ever finding what they are looking for. Which leads me to another one of my favorite and life changing quotes, from Tony Robbins himself:

“All you need is within you now”

Take Your Blogging to the Next Level

A Relationship Bloggers’ Conference and
Networking Event in Chicago

Community Building, Friday, May 11, 2007
6:00 PM – 9:00 PM

• Christine Kane, popular guitarist, singer, blogger LIVE
• Open Mic Night Cocktail Party – Live community event (multiple microphones)
  Take the conversation out of the comment box!

Speakers, Saturday, May 12, 2007
8:00 AM – 4:30 PM

• Phil Gerbyshak, Make It Great! Relationship Geek
• Liz Strauss, Successful-Blog SOB and BAD Blogger
• David Armano, Logic+Emotion
• Terry Starbucker, Ramblings from a Glass Half Full
• Rodney Rumford, PodBlaze
• Ben Yoskovitz, Instigator Blog
  
• Mike Sansone, ConverStations & Iowa Marketing Bloggers
• Chris Cree, Success CREEations
• Scott Rafer, MyBlogLog
• Janice Myint, Technorati
• Wendy Piersall, eMomsatHome Yep – that’s ME!
• Diego Orjuela, Evoca.com
  

There will be interactive presentations on publishing, design and branding, tools, analytics, social networking, marketing, and coaching — all from the perspectives of the relationship blogger and the audience.

Only 250 attendees will be accepted, and we hope YOU can be one of them!

There are SO many of you that I have really wanted to meet in person – here’s our chance to get together, have some fun, and take our blogs to the next level!

[And don't worry, I finished at 7:45pm, in plenty of time to beat my deadline! I had to stop and give the BlogBloke a little crap before I posted my update!]

Based on your response to this little idea of mine, I’ve decided to make this a Monday tradition!

So remember to head over every Monday to kick off your week to a productive start!

I have 66 emails in my inbox that currently require a response, some action, or follow up.

Today I commit to you, my readers,
that my inbox will be empty by 8:00pm tonight.

If I don’t complete my task, I will pay you $25. I will select 6 random people to send $25 if I do not do what I say I will do! (To be considered, you must play along and be productive, too! Keep reading!)
If you want to participate, leave a comment on this post:

• Tell us what you are committing to
• Tell us what your leverage is – what you will have to do if you don’t get it done
• Tell us when your deadline is
• Then GET TO WORK!

One little hint – you can only commit to things that you can control – so don’t commit to anything that depends on anyone else for you to complete.

Let’s make this Monday a kick-butt productive start to the week!

Get your motivation on and join us!

His co-workers were quite jealous of his earnings. When they asked him for advice, he told them to go out and start flagging cars down. They resisted, and never did it.

Why? Because they said, “That’s not me”.

And not-so-strangely enough, none of his co-workers pulled in $400K a year. He was not only tops in his location, but among the top in the country.

Now this may be an extreme example, but let me give you another example from my own experience.

When I launched my group coaching program, I seriously struggled with the idea of putting together one of those super-salesey super-long sales pages for the program. I had it on my to-do list for weeks. But I couldn’t bring myself to write one. I HATE those pages! I don’t want one of those for my program because… *drumroll please*…

“That’s Not Me”

Doh! I did it! I was thinking, dare I say it, “IN THE BOX”!!

So I tried a few different ways to market the program, all the while, continuing to avoid putting together a long landing page from scrolling-hell.

I stayed in the box, hoping that by sheer magic, I wouldn’t have to ‘pitch’ my dear readers. I just moved around inside of it.
And guess what?

Nobody signed up for the program.

So I did some research. I read about conversion rates on long-form copy sales pages. It was impressive. And it was critical to me to get this program up and running. I know I make a difference – but I can only do that if I actually have clients to work with!

I decided to go outside of my comfort zone. I mean WAY outside of my comfort zone.

I wrote the page.

Lo and behold, people signed up. Not as many as I had wanted, but the group is indeed running, and the participants have been getting more out of it than even I anticipated.
I forced myself outside of the box.
And I grew to be a stronger marketer, my business grew to increase my client base, and my readers and clients are growing thanks to the fact that they signed up for the program.

So, the next time you find yourself saying, “That’s not me” – question it! Who are you serving by listening to that little voice? Are you giving into your fears, denying the world of your products and services? You may need to make a choice to do something that isn’t, dare I say it, “You”.

And that’s a good thing.

I have a friend that is in the process of likely losing his business.

At this trying time, I have been stretched to the core as both a friend and coach as I work to help him see the silver lining in this darkest cloud of his life. I find myself wanting to plant lessons into my friend’s mind, desperately wishing that the mistakes he has made have not been in vain.

I have to admit, there are some times that I just can’t get through to him.

So what is a coach to do? The lessons may or may not be lost on my friend. Only time will tell. But the lessons will not be lost on you. I’m drained, feeling emotional, and I’m searching for my own wisdom in this experience.

Read with me as I sort out my own learnings from this heartbreak – I will be literally defining it as I type:

1. Business is Personal

   As business owners, our lives become entwined in our businesses. The business becomes an extension of who we are. This is especially true in the consulting industry, when we are our own brand.

   Please do not fool yourself for one moment that any decision you make can be safely tucked away and forgotten. The way you live your personal life can and will affect your business. It might be a little. It might be a lot. But how you live your life personally can make or break your business. Period.
   ~

2. Always seek the open door

   When one door closes, another always opens. Always.

   It may take a huge leap of faith to find the door. It may take you a long time to find the door. You may find a door open that you really wish would have stayed closed. Or you may spend the rest of your life looking at the closed door, wishing forever that you could reopen it.

   The point is, it’s not your job to knock on a locked door. It’s your job to take responsibility for the fact that your choices locked the door in the first place. And your job is to find the open one. No matter what.
   ~

3. Listen to your heart

   If my friend had listened to his heart, none of this would have happened. But he didn’t. Along the way he was so focused on his immediate circumstances, he lost sight of the big picture. I believe he knew he should have been making different decisions along the way. But his head got in the way.

   I’m almost 40. I’ve been through a hell of a lot. If I had to distill all of my life lessons into one piece of advice, it would be to follow what your heart tells you to do. This applies to both business and personal decisions. If you really listen to your heart, you will NEVER be led down the wrong path.
   ~

4. Embrace reality

   We’ve all heard the expression that “Everything happens for a reason”.Guess what? Just because there is a reason, it doesn’t mean you get to know what that reason is right away! Life has a way of putting us onto a different path when we least expect it sometimes. It’s usually only in hindsight that we can understand why things happened the way they did. The only way to weather the storm is to find a way to get value out of the ride.
   ~

5. Expect a gift

   Through the failure of my first business, struggling with bulimia, living in my truck for half a year, depression, my husband’s addictions, and our near divorce, there has not been one crisis in my life that hasn’t offered me priceless gifts. I wouldn’t change a step on my journey, because I value what I have learned far more than I value my comfort or blind security.

   Every crisis is an opportunity. An opportunity to grow. An opportunity to change. An opportunity to help others.

   And, an opportunity to become the man or woman you were born to be.

   Please, please, find the gift. If you can’t, find someone who can help you find the gift.

To quote my new friend Craig Harper:

We get to choose to be incredible, amazing, inspirational and exceptional human beings DESPITE our life experiences. DESPITE what the world or others have taught us. DESPITE our situation or circumstances. DESPITE our history and DESPITE the expectations of others.

Mother Teresa did.

Martin Luther did.

Nelson Mandela did.

They did exceptional things, they lived exceptional lives, they were exceptional.

By Choice.

Here’s four reasons to register and make a decision to invest in yourself for 2007:

First, this program is guaranteed to work and keep you motivated and productive – you really can achieve those New Year’s Resolutions!

Second, this is the only way in which you can get one-on-one coaching with me for such an affordable price

Third, you will get personalized attention in a Mastermind Group setting – you will be able to tap your own potential as well as the wisdom of a an intimate group of up to 5 other people!

Fourth, you can get all this with a money back guarantee – you truly have nothing to lose!

The rest of the course details are here. OR just cut to the chase and join me now!

The kids are small … they need so much … I’ll just ignore that inner dream for a little while longer and do what I have to do right now … I’ll get to that dream of mine tomorrow …

But tomorrow stays there – in tomorrow.

So what has to happen in order for you to realize that this doesn’t have to be an either-or life?

• Will you have to find that it is too late?
• Will you have to give up on that dream?
• Or will you have to decide that your New Years Resolutions’ are not just wishes – they are demands from the part of you that know you can do more, have more and BE more?!

I’ve had a lot of people ask me about Productivity from the Inside out – they are people that want to work on their careeer, their business, and get their marketing plan in order… but what they really want to know is:

Can I work on my personal goals along with my business goals in this program?

Absolutely! We are whole human beings – and success in business is a hollow victory if you health is declining as you put on weight or if your marraige is on the rocks and you feel out of control.

Join me and the rest of the wonderful members of your group today. There are still spots available at the following group meeting times:

Thursdays 9:00-11:00am CST
Wednesdays 10:00-12:00pm CST
Wednesdays 7:00-9:00pm CST

Your dreams are there to be lived, not put off.

Teach your kids to pursue their own dreams by having the courage to pursue yours.

I promise that we’ll make a difference together in 2007!

We made sure we created goals for 7 key areas of our lives:

• Family
• Emotional
• Physical
• Marriage/Intimate Relationship
• Spiritual
• Financial
• Career

We have always worked on all of these areas in one way or another – and I personally have always had big dreams and goals for all of them.

But for the first time in my life, I realized that my first 5 areas, Family, Emotionally, Physically, Spiritually and in my Marriage, ALL of my previous goals have been met. In fact, I really didn’t know what to come up with for new goals, besides renewing my commitments to do what I am already doing to maintain and gradually grow and deepen these areas of my life.

It all seemed a little anti-climatic.

The irony is that these areas were in shambles at the end of 2005, with my finances and career absolutely skyrocketing at that time. But in order to really dig in and pursue my dreams, I had to let a lot of that go in order to do what I am doing now, which is only recently beginning to show results.

Yet as I looked upon what I want to accomplish in 2007, I realized there is some hard work ahead of me, and I will have to dedicate a ton of time to doing things I don’t necessarily enjoy doing in order to get where I want to go.

My 2007 was starting to look a little boring. It wasn’t a very motivating moment.

But instead of giving into the emotion, I went deeper, and realized there were some great lessons to be learned:

Instead of focusing on what seemed boring, I shifted my focus to what I don’t know about 2007:

Who will I meet… How can I find ways to help more people… How can I give even more of myself to my clients and to my blog readers… What value can I add… How can I stretch myself to grow in areas I haven’t even considered yet… ?

In the past, it would have been easy to just sabotage things to keep life exciting. It’s funny to think of that now, though, realizing that just by asking myself a few new questions about 2007, I’m READY to ROLL.

Will I be bored sometimes? Maybe – but I say BRING it ON, because I want to kick some butt with all of you and no matter what happens along the way, I’m excited because I’m pursuing my dreams!

Pursue yours with me and let’s make 2007 the best of your life!