The first post in this series:
The Business Boxing Match :: Success vs. Failure
The second post in this series:
Fight the Inner Battle :: Sneaky Tools to Win
The third post in this series:
Go to the Mattresses :: Overcoming Obstacles vs. Untapped Potential
The fourth post in this series:
Claim the Victory :: Embrace your Success
Yesterday we got rid of some of your “brick wall” obstacles to success. Today we’re going to look a little closer as to why that brick wall was there in the first place, clearing the rubble away for you to throw your victory flag into the ground and embrace your success!
We all have five basic needs that we must meet on a regular basis. Everything we do, we do to meet one or more of these five needs:
Look back on your answers yesterday from question number three: ‘What benefit am I getting out of “X”?’
If you put on your psychology hat for one moment, you will begin to see a pattern emerge in your answers. Study them and determine which of these five needs you were meeting by feeling that avoidance value you worked on yesterday. In fact, you probably met more than one of these needs before yesterday’s process.
As I mentioned earlier, if you yank out an avoidance value, you will not be meeting that need in the same way any longer. Unless you put together a plan to meet that need in positive ways, you will go back to that old avoidance value to get your needs met.
So today we are going to get specific about this need, and create some new, positive ways to ensure that it is met on a regular basis.
Here again are another series of questions/sections – don’t worry, these are much easier emotionally than yesterday was! This process is most valuable if you again take the time to print this page out to sit down and write out your answers.
1 :: Choose one of the above mentioned five needs – the one that you were meeting the most by feeling yesterday’s avoidance value.
What does “X” mean to you specifically?
Importance means that I feel special. That there is a reason I am here on this planet.
Importance means that I know I am making a difference with my work.
Importance means that I know that I am loved unconditionally.
Importance means that I know that I contribute to the lives of my families and friends.
Certainty means that I feel safe, but I know nothing bad is going to happen to me or my family.
Certainty means that I am familiar with my situation, or my surroundings, and I have a feeling of comfort or being at ease.
Certainty means that I know what I am doing, that I feel I can take charge of a situation
2 :: You may feel you have tremendous potential, and you may even feel that you’re doing really well in your business. Is it really well compared to others? Maybe it is. But is it “really well” in comparison to what you’re truly capable of? Are you living up to your full potential?
Right now, close your eyes, sit back and relax because I want you to really get in touch with who you really are. Pretend for a moment that you are at the end of your life. And let’s also pretend that you lived your life to the fullest.
Look back on your life now and noticed the moments where you truly lived up to your full potential.
What are some of the accomplishments that you made, because you lived your life this way?
Who did you become, once you made the decision to hold nothing back in your life?
How did your business touch people, and change lives, because you made a commitment to come from your heart in all of your actions?
Look back on your entire life, and fill it in with photographs of your most cherished moments. Not just your business accomplishments, but the treasured moments you spent with your family and friends because you had the time and resources to do so.
Allow yourself to really feel grateful and proud of this life that you led. Really let it sink in and let the feelings radiate from within. Remember to put the expression on your face to match these great feelings you are experiencing.
What are some of the things that you say to yourself, as you look back on such a rich and rewarding life?
Take 10 to 20 minutes right now to write a page or so about this life that you just experienced. Write it as if it has already happened, in past tense.
3 :: Going back to your answer in number one (your need), and remaining in touch with the “You” you got to know in number two, answer the following question:
‘When I am at my absolute best, what has to happen in order for me to feel “X”?’
Again, these are your “rules” – meaning if “Z” happens, then I feel “X”. For example:
I feel important when I get great feedback from a customer or client.
I feel important when I have a really productive day and get a ton of stuff done.
I feel important when I am able to put my nose to the grindstone and add a new revenue stream to my business.
I feel certainty when I plan a project and know without a doubt I can complete it.
I feel certainty when I know I have enough income and revenue coming from my business for the next four months.
I feel certainty when I know I have my family’s and spouse’s support in my business
4 :: You really want to make it easy for yourself to meet this need on a consistent basis, in a way that serves your highest good.
So to really give you a lot of tools to work with, ask the following question of yourself to add to your answers from the previous question:
If I were living up to my full potential, what would be some ways that I could feel (importance, certainty, etc.) that I haven’t thought of before? How can I create this feeling from within me, based solely on my own thoughts or actions?
5 :: Lastly, and most importantly, schedule time every day over the next 30 days to read what you just wrote every morning before you start your day. It may sound ironic and funny, but feeling great emotions actually takes practice.
So take five minutes on a daily basis to remind yourself of what you’re capable of!!
You may be wondering about the friend of mine at the beginning of this series that hated to sell – though I was just like her, honestly, it wasn’t me. I coaxed, prodded, and finally just paid for her to come to this sales training event about a year ago.
We were able to completely reframe the way she percieved a sale. Instead of coercion, suddenly, sales was about helping people. Instead of pressure, it was about standing up for what she believed was the right thing to do for her clients.
I can happily report that today, my friend’s coaching practice has gone through the roof. She daily applies the lessons learned in that sales program, not just in bringing in new business, but as she “sells” her clients on new ideas and new business strategies.
So learning how to sell didn’t just save my life, it saved a few businesses along the way too.
Even though this post concludes my series on values conflicts, it certainly doesn’t cover the entire spectrum of the impact of committing to personal growth to improve your professional business. You can count on me to write more on the subject, and to even put some more formalized tools together to help you truly get out of your own way, and make your business extraordinary. If I get enough requests to create an audio version of this series, I’d be happy to make it my first podcast!
Please drop me a line via my contact form or in a comment below if you found value in this series. I also work to be approachable, so if you have questions, by all means please let me know! I would especially love to hear from you as you experience success by going through this process.
Here’s to a successful business and a successful you!