Does your Peer Group Influence your Business?

I was reading one of my new favorite blogs today, over at Passion Meets Purpose. Author Kammie is positive, full of energy, and totally infectious. She wrote a great post about a bit of an ego bruise that was a blessing in disguise - and it made me think of my own big ego bash from a while ago…

I remember when I first seriously considered becoming a life coach. It was almost 2 years ago - I was doing a lot of training with the Anthony Robbins companies, and really felt like I was finally getting this whole living a great life thing. I was working with some great potential clients at events, and really making a difference.

At the time I was working outside of the house, and my interest and passion for getting into coaching started becoming a distraction. I wanted a career that I could be passionate about - one that didn’t bore me after 2 months, as most of my jobs had in the past. I had encouragement from many people I knew, and even from people I had coached informally. I had the experience, I looked into coaching certification, and went to my coach and told him about my intentions.

Then I got some nasty medicine.

My coach didn’t think I was ready to be a coach for others. He suggested I needed a lot less talk and a lot more action in my life. That I wasn’t really walking my talk. Man, I was PISSED.

But I really, REALLY respected my coach. That pissed me off even more, because I couldn’t dismiss his observations as uninformed or ingenuine. I felt like he had given me the NASTIEST pill to swallow. But I trusted him. So I swallowed the pill - and my pride - and I took another look within.

I realized that even though coach training would be highly valuable, perhaps it wasn’t exactly what my heart was telling me to do at that time. I was actually more looking for a way OUT of my office job than I was looking to DO coaching, if that makes sense. And I hated, I mean REALLY HATED to admit it, but my coach was right. It was time for me to put up or shut up.

I decided that I would make no career moves until I pushed past my boredom and resistance in my current job. I realized that I was looking for something in my job to complete me - but I was looking at it all backwards. What I really needed to focus on was being complete - and then I knew I could trust that the right career opportunities would appear. I also made the decision to be successful in my current position, no. matter. what. How could I coach people to push past their own fears and resistance if I couldn’t do it myself?

By swallowing that little nasty pill my coach offered to me, I found that it wasn’t nasty at all. It just tasted nasty going down - but once down in my tummy it turned out to be one of the greatest gifts he had ever given me. And I know it was hard for him to offer it - but I’m so glad he did.

Had I listened to all the people who just said “Yeah, go for it, Wendy!” or “Wendy, your’e great!” I would not be where I am today. Not to say that I don’t surround myself with positive people. I most certainly do.

But the people that I spend the most time with, the ones who really define true friendship, are not my cheerleading squad. They hold me to a higher standard - by calling me on my sh*t, by living their own lives at high standards, and by never letting me buy into anything less than my own greatness. And by doing this, then, and only then, do we get to celebrate great successes together.

After that very painful experience, I took walking my talk to a whole new level. I rocked the house down in my office job. And I really dove into learning and applying NLP, coaching, and the science of persuasion. Just recently, my coach paid me the highest compliment he has ever given me.

In front of a room full of 50 people, he found himself in a position to help faciliate a reconciliation between two of our mutual friends. It had been a huge (and I mean HUGE !) challenge for all of us - because we were all so closely tied to each other. After tears were shed and hugs shared, my coach said that this was a great example of the fact that we as leaders have our own problems from time to time - and that this reconciliation would not have happened if it weren’t for MY coaching of all of the people involved. Wow. Talk about a tear jerker.

Had my coach not sacked my ego two years ago, this would never have happened. And it’s very likely I wouldn’t be here behind eMoms at Home today. So did my peer group influence my business? You had better believe it!

So the question is - who is in your peer group? Are these people that buy into your “story”, or do they hold you to a higher standard? Hopefully you have at least one person in your life that sees you at your best - even when you don’t - and reminds you of who you are when you forget. And if you don’t, just keep reading my blog until you do - or until I get to meet you in person - whichever comes first!