Fame, Being Uncomfortable, Friendship and THE Lorelle
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Yesterday, I drove several hours in rainy rush hour traffic to go hang out with The Lorelle for a bit before she went back home to Oregon. We joked and laughed about blogging fame and fortune (and the lack thereof for many a month as a new blogger), shared personal stories of overcoming our own self-imposed limitations and self-sabotage in the past, and got to chatting about new projects in the future that we might consider working on with each other.
On the way home, the enormity of the SOBCon experience hit me. And I was extremely UNcomfortable.
I don’t know what it was about talking with Lorelle - something about the fact that I was sitting and having coffee with THE Lorelle, the prospect of working with her, or the fact that she made the comment that she thought I was on the road to fame or what… but I left feeling a bit scared and like I was walking around in shoes WAY too big for my tiny feet to handle.
It’s even weird to blog this, because I don’t want to sound conceited, and I feel like I shouldn’t make a big deal about this kind of stuff. I should take my own dang advice and put one foot in front of the other and just focus on the next task on my list.
Instead, I realize that at SOBCon I hit a point of no return. My name is now out there as an inspirational speaker and leader. And I did it in front of 110+ people, not just from my comfy little home office in my favorite room in the house. I’m living my mission and suddenly it became very clear to me that taking the easy way out or turning back is not an option anymore. That’s flipping scary (and since this is a PG-13 blog, I’ll just let you know that I really mean the other F word in that sentence).
Was it an option before? Probably not. But now it seems so much more real than it did before last weekend.
You know what? Living and working your mission is a wonderfully exciting and enthralling way to live. But at times, it really feels quite literally like I have 20 hands pulling my heart in all directions in order to make it bigger. I’m not complaining, because I am 100% grateful to be feeling this way.
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve questioned publishing a post. But if I am to live what I just told 110 people to live, then I had better damn well get over myself and get on with this. 
So why am I publishing this post?
The biggest reason is because I want you to know that when you are successful, you aren’t going to suddenly sit back and feel confident 100% of the time. Sometimes, you won’t feel like you know what the hell you are doing. Sometimes, you will wonder how the hell you will handle it all.
So, if you’re waiting until you feel totally capable and confident before you go for your dreams, you’ll never get there. Go now, and jump off the cliff while you know you have no wings on your back.
You’ll just have to trust that you will grow those wings on the way down.
Sparkplugging Founder Wendy Piersall is dang passionate about helping people start & grow a business while maintaining life balance (somehow).
Dawud Miracle has one focus: to help you get it. The it? How your website, and blog, can change the way you do business. You can find out more at 
And Wendy, your wings will be strong and beautiful as they grow!! You are an inspiration to us all and if anyone can handle the success with grace, it will be you.
I am a bit jealous that you got to hang out with Lorelle. I am one of her biggest fans.
And you were an awesome speaker.
It’s funny how we look at someone else’s entire life and forget that they didn’t know how their story would end.
Keats didn’t know he was Keats. Dickinson didn’t know she was Dickinson. Poe didn’t know he was Poe. Their work was never really popular while they were alive.
Here’s the real question I wrestle with. What if my work will never be appreciated until I’m dead? What if the only people my work serves are the few people around me?
Is it enough to give everything for just a few?
Yes.
Another great reason to publish that post was for me! The ‘committee’ that meets in my head was telling me yesterday that I lack direction and have silly ideas. They were trying to tell me to go back to safety and STOP this foolishness of trying to devise away to never return to that job I’ve been laid off from. They had me thinking LACK and FEAR with a little PERFECTIONISM mixed in - like do not try anythign unless you know you can do it (perfectly!). SO THANK YOU! I will focus on getting comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. SIGH - It is a process…
I was just telling my husband that there are days when I just want to pull my website down off the web and go hide because I just don’t feel strong enough to fill the space I’ve created. It’s funny (and good) to hear someone admit those same weird little fears that come crawling out from under the woodpile…
You did great and you are great and you have lots of fans who need both your strength and your vulnerability!
Wendy,
You are continuing to demonstrate the wisdom that has led to your success by even putting up a post like this.
You are right - success does not automatically mean a seat in “the easy chair” and in most cases it will mean getting decidedly outside of your comfort zone - at least initially.
However, once you get used to the limelight outside of the comfort zone, that will just encourage you to expand even further. Expansion is - after all - one of the prime purposes of our existence, right?
Great work, Wendy. We’re all with you.
- Aaron
I totally understand what you mean Wendy. My life away from blogging can relate very much with this. Everyday I’m faced with challenges which someone as inexperienced as I, should not be in. I’m very greatful for the opportunity though.
When you’ve been thrown in at the deep end, you either try to swim…or sink! So swim Wendy, swim!
I also think it is completely important you don’t get too full of yourself too so keeping your head grounded and allowing people like me to im you and ask you questions and give real replies those are important and networking with the little guys
Totally agree with Mark Goodyear. While some of the biggies of today knew where they wanted to go, they all started somewhere. The funny thing is I think most of us in the room, listening to your presentation, KNEW you as the amazingly successful person that you came across as, and now you are catching up.
There’s lots of power in “making your path public.”
I also agree with Amanda, and that’s the fear that I live with each day.
Jason Alba
CEO - JibberJobber.com
Putting Relationships First
As far as I’m concerned, this post just confirms what I wrote about you last week.
I prefer bloggers with a few insecurities.
I recently unsubscribed from a blog where the guy seemed to have gotten cocky. He’s had alot of growth in his first year of blogging. And his posts had grown arrogant. I wasn’t fond of the change.
So please please please be you!
thanks Wendy for posting this. the fear of success is so great for me, I am so unsure and scared of everything… I feel like Christine… like just hiding (not that anyone really knows me anyways).
I know I don’t want to be a failure, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier if I did fail than to put myself out there.
And meeting THE Lorelle… wow!!!
@ Char - since I know you so well I can unevocally state that you and Lorelle would get along like PB & J!
@ Mark - what a great statement! You are right, and if I died tomorrow I would know I made a difference (as did so many others this last weekend!!). It’s also good to know that we probably WON’T die tomorrow so we get to blog some more.
@ Sue - YES! Breathe!
And guess what, it will ALWAYS be a process, so just make peace with that committee - they are there to help and serve you. You might as well get used to each other and figure out a way to work together because they aren’t going anywhere (but you seem to be going GREAT places lately yourself!!).
@ Christine: “I just don’t feel strong enough to fill the space I’ve created.”
Girl! That sentence makes me want to jump in my car and drive down to visit you. Today. Now.
@ Aaron - I’m always so excited to see you drop by! Yes, ever expanding and growing is part of our purpose! It’s interesting, the more I spend life outside of that ‘easy chair’ the more comfortable I am standing. You too?
@ Armen - It’s more fun to swim when I have lots of friends in the deep end with me. Like you!
@ Amanda - It’s a fine line and I’m still figuring that one out sometimes. I work hard to be open and approachable, then sometimes people take advantage of it. But regardless, you are so right that this stuff shouldn’t go to our heads. If I ever seem to cocky just slap me around, will ya?
@ Jason - Yeah, I know, this all sounds weird! I felt everything I said, just that when I got home, I felt it a WHOLE lot more - ha ha! Big hugs to you and I’ve been enjoying reading more about your own mission lately!
@ Scott. HUGS. I really wish you could have been there this last weekend. Next year you have no excuses. Period.
@ Shaz - yes, it WOULD be easier in the short term to fail. But think about the long-term uneasiness you would have to live with in your soul… it might not be such a good trade off, then, huh?
And Nathania - who’s paths we crossed as commenting!
Glad to hear you appreciate the real me - I appreciate the real you, too! Thank you!!
Hi Wendy,
First of all, congratulations on your success! I can imagine how much work you have put in to get to where you are currently.
While I don’t know you like the others who have met you in person, or have been blogging with you longer, I can so very well relate to what you’ve said here. I know that I have a fear of success in many areas of life, and this has caused me to sabotage myself. This is something that I was just writing in my notebook last night before I went to sleep, to remember the points I want to cover when I post about it; I’ve meant to for awhile now because I think it is just as (or more) common than the fear of failure.
I can also relate to your feeling of having put yourself out there, that you could feel that you now have something to “live up to”, however just from what I’ve read on your blog so far, I don’t get the feeling that you will be faltering.
I agree with your thought to focus on the next task on your list, now
Clearly you’re on the right path and are already living your dream. Thanks for the inspiration Wendy!! 
rock on, girlfriend, even in your insecurity, you are an inspiration to thousands…how many people can say that?!?
Your honesty is like a breath of fresh air.
hugs,
Jessica
Wendy,
Yes, absolutely - I don’t even remember what my comfort zone looks like… ;)~
Seriously, though, yes - I have had to adapt to a life that is much more “work like” than I had originally thought it would be.
To deal with that, I just make sure that I continue to ENJOY the work that I do, so every day is happy, even when it’s REALLY busy!
Wendy,
You’re ready. Without a doubt. The most rewarding things in our life will stretch us. But you know that already.
Think of stretching a muscle. At first it hurts - sometimes a lot. But as it/we relax, the pain dissipates and lets us become who we were before we got tight. The cool thing is that once we relax we reach even further than we thought we could.
Remember your exercise from Saturday? Mind, body, emotions, heart, spirit - no difference.
Now, go and find the song from Toy Story…You’ve got a friend in me.
Great post, Wendy. I feel the same way everytime I realize how far I’ve gotten. I’m not famous by any measure, but I’m never quite sure how I’ve managed to pull off everything I have been able to achieve so far in my career and education.
I periodically have this paralyzing thought that one day people are going to figure out that I’m really not that good…but it has yet to happen, so maybe I am?
Time will tell. I don’t think I have wings yet; in the interim though, I’ve gotten pretty good at following Douglas Adams’ advice to miss the ground. ( http://www.extremelysmart.com/humor/howtofly.php )
I haven’t read all the comments above but I’m sure they’ve all told you that you totally deserve to be where you are now. I’m sure you’ll be just fine.
Last year I filled in for my boss for 4 months in total. I thought the ‘Acting’ part of my job title was very appropriate because I felt like I was acting half the time.
I’ve heard that many successful people are insecure on the inside while not looking so insecure on the outside.
Rock-on!
Fantastic post Wendy! It is very refreshing to see a well-known blogger opening up in this way to their readers and I thank you for publishing this post.
Something that struck me when you mentioned having coffee with THE Lorelle is how I felt when I had a brief email conversation with THE Wendy, or when I see THE Wendy’s avatar in my MyBlogLog widget.
It’s perfectly normal to feel scared but rest assured that you have been filling those shoes for quite some time now and helping a great number of us learn and grow!
derek - That is so true. I love it when Wendy has visited my blog =:)
Wendy,
Your post Get Your Goals On - Only Big Dreamers Need Apply has stuck with me. I remember you being scared to even set the big goals. That inspired me. And now this post has done it again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
@ JoLynn - Thanks tons for your kind words - I remember being afraid of failing.
What I found, though, was that I was way more afraid of success. I’m much better about it now, except for weak “Lorelle moments”!
@ Jessica - I love you!
@ Aaron - I hear ya, and that’s why I do the Monday Motivation thing - otherwise I would blog and comment all day and never do anything else!!
@ Dawud - I don’t just have a friend in you, I also have a teddy bear to hug when I feel scared.
As do YOU!
@ Amy & Jen - I’ve heard that from SO many people, women especially. My favorite quote on the subject comes from Andy Wibbels: “If I don’t feel like a fraud at least once a day then I’m not reaching far enough.†Thanks for sharing that great link, too, Amy!
@ Derek - I want to wrap myself up in that comment and feel warm and cozy all over. Wow - THANKS!
@ Kim - you, too! Thanks tons and I’m always happy to see you around here as well!
I feel a bit like Sonny and Cher - just without the bell bottoms and long, black hair…I got you babe.
I think people try to take advantage of it and I ended up just writing a whole thing about it on theblogworld proper networking skills since I dont mind being asked for help but only if its a two way street, but there is a fine line between asking for help and asking for someone to consult you for free. I try to give help as I ask for it like I did with you so I dont feel like i’m just picking your brain and not given back :\
Wendy, you’re awesome. This post is another great example of why no one could wait to hug you at SOBCon.
(and Char, Lorelle is a gas; you’ve probably been following her much longer than I have, but I got lucky to chat with her a little, and she’s a blast.)
I also resonated with what Christine said, about finding the strength to fill our space. That’s probably a challenge for us all.
Love it, love it, love it!
Wonderful, Wendy.
You’ve expressed what I’ve been feeling lately…
As I sit here in my “ugly clothes” with a sinus infection, reading all these fabulous comments about SOBCon and on this post, I don’t feel much like “THE Lorelle”.
Sneeze, sniffle, cough.
The conference was incredible and meeting you was a highlight, Wendy. Everyone was so…amazing (such a redundant word).
The point brought up repeatedly at the conference was on how important it is to risk being you when you blog and you got it, girl!
Thank you for living by example.
Snorkle, sniff, sneeze, hack.
This is what I love about this site. You can always see or read something very personal.
It is posts like these that help me understand why you guys are hugging at the Cons
Hi Wendy!
I have struggled with issues of self-doubt and self-sabotage. I think women probably deal with this more than men. It was courageous of you to share your feelings and it has inspired many of us to take a deep breath and keep moving forward on the paths we’ve chosen for ourselves.
Thank you.
HOLY ***** after reading a lot of pages on Lorelle’s blog. I….I suddenly have a ton of respect for her…almost some kind of fear. I can suddenly see so many flaws and mistakes on my blog. Thank you very much for telling me about THE Lorelle.
Dennis, thank you for your kind words. And they mean a lot to me. It’s not that your blog is flawed, I believe the mistakes come when your blog isn’t “you”. No matter how you fuss and muss with SEO and code, it boils down to creating a blog which works for you, with you, by you, and through you.
Keep blogging!