I posed a question on my Entrepreneur.com blog today – How do you handle racism in business? I’ve had a couple of uncomfortable moments over the last year – and one recently got me thinking.
What DO you say to someone who makes a racist comment – yet it is made by someone that you need to keep a moderately friendly working relationship with?!
Leave a comment over there with your thoughts, will you? 
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Racism? That’s a tough word. I rarely hear overt racism in the workplace any more. I hear veiled prejudice, which isn’t as bad, but destructive nevertheless.
I define racism as the extreme belief that your own race is superior to someone else’s and if someone said something like that I’d report them to HR and disassociate with them entirely. However if they said something insensitive or stupid or misguided, I’d blow it off.
You know, my mother is a very kind caring liberal woman who doesn’t have a racist bone in her body, but she still describes people as colored instead of today’s PC wording – people of color. Does it make her a dangerous or bad person? no. Does it make for socially awkward situations? Yes. I try to explain how the language has changed and she always says it’s not the word that matters, it’s the intent of the speaker, well not entirely true, it is also how the word is understood by others.
But if I know a person, and they say something that is stupid, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, usually. We all have our weaknesses, to forgive is divine.
Lately it seems I have had more conversations about race, particularly my racial make up and questions about my parents. I am not sure what makes people even care about that, but they do. They want to know what I am. Dealing with racism is not only about listening to someone make a remark, but dealing with people who feel a need to catagorize you in order to deal with you.
Letitia – that’s really interesting! Especially when it comes in waves – it sometimes feels like there is some message or lesson that is looming around.
I have had people ask me about my heritage as well, but haven’t felt ‘categorized’, per se. I can understand how anyone would, though, especially living here in the U.S. I don’t even know the heritage of my children – I come from 4 nationalities and my husband can’t seem to remember how many nationalities he is.
So my kids just have to say they are ‘American’ when asked about their heritage – sounds like that might be a good answer for you when posed with that same silly question.
@ Steve – that’s a good distinction between racism and predjudice. Defined that way, I’ve come across each in those two situations mentioned.
On the other post, someone made a good point – that by staying silent on the issue, we might be giving the false impression that it is OK to make these stupid statements in front of us.
So it’s a bit of a dilemma – do we silently forgive or is it better to speak up a bit to be clear on our own beliefs?
Letitia,
I sometimes ask people about their ancestry not to ‘categorize’ but to better understand their culture. Managing people in a global economy takes understanding and the more I know about a person’s background the better I can connect with them. Not in a fake way, but in a way that is genuine.
Our history is important in building rapport.
Wendy,
About beliefs and making them known. Let me give you a belief… I believe that actions speak louder than words, and the way you treat other people will do far more than pointing out flaws in others. Now if someone said something prejudiced and asked if I agreed I’d give them my opinion. Kinda like if they asked if I thought their butt was fat. They asked for it, and I’d tell them. But if they just said something stupid, I’d quietly understand that they were stupid about some things.
I have never posted about race… I appreciate your courage… it’s a dangerous topic… so easy to be misunderstood.
Personally… I don’t care about the color of anyone’s skin, I’m with MLK, I care about the content of their character.
I get really annoyed with anyone… of any skin color… that gets too hung up on skin color.
But I also find the topic… well… fascinating.
Maybe it is the taboo nature of the subject that fascinates… like money and sex
I have yet to encounter it via blogging or anything with my websites.
I encounter it every day, I’m engaged to a man whose half puetro rican, his moms white, his stepfather is black, and all of his nieces and nephews are mixed. I mean its the most politically correct family if you think about it, and I encounter looks or people saying this or that or when I have one of his nieces they look at me like I’m the mother and I get dirty looks. But I really don’t get it in my offline job, or anything online. I guess I am lucky.
You get dirty looks for being with mixed race kids?
Ah – the irony of that!! And it’s terrible!!
I don’t even KNOW all of the nationalities my kids are, because my husband can’t remember them all (and I am 4 myself!!).
Wow, I wonder if my dad got funny look,I dont think he would ever admit it. We did get a funny look from a waitress once when I took my dad out to lunch at the golf course. But then I realized it was because he was there without my mom, and the waitress did not know what to think about who I was.
She got a lot nicer when he introduced me as his daughter.
LOL Letitia – that’s a WHOLE different subject!!!
Hiya Wendy,
A couple of things (about being Chinese and being in business): I have a web based business with a companion blog (as you well know).
In the blog I guess I held off from posting my mug shot in the blog because I was a bit worried that this might affect sales. You see, in my past life I used to run a Chinese takeaway and whilst 95% of the customers were great; there was a small group who were pretty unpleasant at times.
These experiences didn’t leave me with any emotional scars or anything, but they did leave me wondering if I would be judged negatively (based on my color) by potential customers of my current business…
Well, I needn’t have worried; it seems that the blogosphere is populated by a lovely bunch of people, and that goes double for crafters & self helpers. Interestingly though, I do experience positive prejudice from being told ‘that as a Chinese person ‘I probably am great in business, work very hard, and are very creative etc.’ Not that I’m complaining, it’s just that it can go both ways…
As for your dilemma: I reckon speak up up a bit, it protects your integrity (even though that can be really hard at times).
Interesting and refreshing twist on the subject, Lisa! Thanks for chiming in!!
And yes, I can hardly imagine experiencing racism in the blogosphere – though I do see sexism from time to time. Hopefully it won’t be too long before that is just as incomprehensible!
I am 9 that I know of. But I guess its because “interbreeding” between ethnic groups. I mean race is the wrong term but its so popularized, being an anthropology major I should know better than to word it like that.
Howver I’m 9 that I know of my fiance is I think 11. I thought I was bad being of at least 9. We know nothing of one of my grandfathers. But I guess because his nieces are mixed between black and white its like ick, to most people, but I have to say they are some of the most beautiful girls you will ever see.
Speak the truth.
Submit button by mistake.
…… telling someone that it’s not appropriate is step one. Start with that.
Will you be able to change their perceptions ? Food for though.
Hmmm … I’ve experienced it online and offline. Online it’s mostly been nasty emails which are quickly deleted. My pic wasn’t on my site for the first year and a half, when I finally decided to put it up, I got a few ‘choice’ emails. I rarely … well never discuss these things, but the love fest in the comments made me write this.
I’ve never really experienced it from other bloggers, but then again, I am a bit antisocial online.
I think MLK said it best that
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.â€
Personally, when I am in the vicinity of someone who makes an ugly or racist comment about another, it usually takes me by surprise because I’m baffled by the ignorance that still exists today.
When I was younger and it happened, I felt terrible for not speaking up. So in my teens, I made a vow to myself and to humanity to never be silent when it happens in my presence.
What do I do? I call a time out from whatever is taking place. As hard as it is, I come from a place of non-judgement, I come from a place of compassion for the person who made the comment and I tell them how I feel about what they said. I describe the sick feeling I get in the pit of my stomach and why it offends me with the hope of starting a dialogue. I might challenge them or ask them if they truly believe what they just said.
It doesn’t always work, but I always feel like I did the right thing and keep the door open for future discussions, while making it clear that I am not the kind of person who stands by and watches others be discriminated against on the basis of race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc.
If someone is repeatedly abusive to others, I limit my association with them. There are times in life when you must take a stand and for me, that’s one of them.
Live Your Dreams,
Jill Koenig
Author, Coach, Motivational Speaker
http://www.GoalGuru.com