Back in January, I had a blogging epiphany. Traffic had been on a steady decrease for a while and it wasn’t recovering from the holidays. I took a look at my stats and had a big ‘duh’ moment. I saw that my blogging category was the top viewed category on this blog – and I hadn’t written a post on blogging in a very long time.
In one fell swoop, I put up a post on blogging that firmly planted this blog right back on the map. It was fast and nearly instantaneous – like I hardly had lost any time at all.
Earlier this week, I also was rather uncomfortably transparent as I work to move through the growing pains on this blog. It has led me to take a new look at the entire growth path of eMoms at Home.
The Fear of the Mommy Blogger Stigma
I started out to be a resource to work at home moms – but nearly half of you are dads. I’ve tried to steer pretty clear of falling too much into mommy-ness around here. It’s uncomfortable ground that can both wield tremendous power or be pegged with a tremendous stigma.
And if we bring up the proverbial Mommy Wars, I believe that Work at Home Moms are square in the middle of it all. I have felt like both stay at home moms and career moms don’t really get what we do – and whether it be disdain, disinterest, jealously or a simple lack of understanding on all sides, I have yet to find a way to bridge the gap between these other groups of moms who truly seem to not mingle to a large degree.
Are Dads Immune?
This isn’t just about moms – leaving names out of the equation, I’ve heard some really amazing stories of reverse discrimination from the stay at home and work at home dads. They quite rightfully could be holding some serious grudges against the moms and women-run companies who blatantly exclude them just because they are dads and not one of ‘us’. And I can’t say that it is just other moms doing this – dads breaking out of gender roles (AND traditional business roles) risk their own parental stigma with other men that I frankly know very little about.
You know, there’s two subjects I try to never discuss in public – politics and religion. I have witnessed these two topics rip apart more friendships and communities than anything else.
I guess that’s it – I feel like getting too mommy around here would just be too darn divisive. Political, even.
I hate divisive. Maybe I’m just too Kumbayh of a blogger, but I just plain hate it – I don’t want to exclude – I want to include.
The Analytics of Mommy-ness and Daddy-ness
So – to bring this post full circle, you can imagine my inner turmoil when I recently took at look at my web stats again. Last month’s post 94 Ways to Keep Kids Busy for the Work at Home Parent is probably my most mom-oriented post of all time.
Also, it is my most viewed post of all time.
As in, all time from last September when I started tracking with Google.
As in, like DOUBLE the amount of visits of the next most viewed post of all time – after being published for only three weeks.
THAT popular.
If I look at this from an analytics approach, history would suggest that getting more mommy around here is something that you would enjoy.
If I look at this from a more personal experience approach, I fear getting more mommy around here could sink me faster than lead in water.
Pamela Slim, who writes on similar topics and is also a mom has also struggled with this mom vs. business credibility issue. Oh, Pam – GOD, do I hear you in that post. I really do.
So if I were coaching a client faced with this business decision, what would I do?
Like I said earlier this week, these are classic entrepreneurial challenges – how much do you steer a business with your own goals vs. letting your customers tell YOU what it is they want?
The questions I would ask are:
- What is my ultimate outcome for this business?
- What can I do to test this theory on a larger scale?
- How can I bring more parenting content into this blog while continuing to be true to the roots of the other popular content on this site?
- How can I look at this as an opportunity to grow?
- How can I overcome my own internal “mommy stereotypes” to find a way to empower moms, dads, and non-parent entrepreneurs to break down the perception that there are walls between us in the first place?
Oh, that last question is a good one. 
I don’t have answers yet, but I believe I’ve just started another interesting conversation.
What do you think? I’m actually more curious about your own experiences as parents as you have faced this issue yourself – what has worked, and where do you still see room for growth?
If you liked this article, you might also enjoy:
- Join our eMoms at Home Group on WorkItMom!
- Sometimes it’s All About Mommies
- Congratulations to the Women of the New Chicago Moms Blog
Get Your FREE 21-Page Internet Business Idea Guide
Enter your name and email below and we’ll send you our unique 21-page guide chock full of Internet business ideas – for free! Your information will be kept private, of course.
Jim Pearson has spent more than 25 years helping small and mid-size businesses find solutions to their business problems. He specializes in sales, marketing and rapid revenue growth and has helped hundreds of companies make more money.
Gene Culver has more than 15 years of diverse business experience across the music industry, telecom network marketing and business coaching. His specialty is helping individuals with marketing, their internet presence and lead generation.
You bring up some excellent points.
I became a mom this past January, but in a very unconventional way. I got married and my husband has full custody of his two kids. They call me mom (we don’t know where “real” mom is or if she’ll ever turn up again).
The past 6 months have been challenging. Suddenly I use my work flex time to meet the kids at the bus and work from home when they get sick.
Sometimes, I’ve found myself so wrapped up in the affairs of my new family that I get overwhelmed. And it’s usually because I’m trying too hard.
I’m learning that maintaining a sense of myself is important. Kids learn best through modeling anyway, so if I’m true to myself then hopefully they’ll be true to themselves as well.
What does this have to do with your blog?
Well, basically, I love your business/entrepreneur posts b/c they I’m finally willing to develop that part of me. But I really like the occasional “mom” post too b/c it’s a very real part of juggling these challenges.
That was all a very long way of saying: I think you strike a good balance.
Without meaning to sound too esoteric, you’ll know when a post of that type “fits”.
Additionally, your url is going to attract people looking for these topics.
No site is going to please everyone with every post, but, remember there are many people interested in entrepreneurship in order to support their families (or future families).
Your url is what brought me to your blog in the first place. It matches my interests perfectly. You have built an audience of like minded people – clearly there are a lot of us. And your “mommy” stereotype is what keeps me coming back – if you can be a successful mom and build your own career then I want to hear how you did it, so maybe I can too.
Wendy,
The bottom line is that every person that you ask is going to want things THEIR way, but at the same time, most of your readers seem to really like you, so they are also going to want you to do what is best for YOU.
In my life, when push comes to shove, I put my back against what *I* want. Not in a “I’m selfish and it’s all about me” way, but rather in a “I’ll never be happy if I only live to serve others” kind of way.
So, what do you WANT to do?
That’s yer answer.
All women, stay-at-home moms, career, or somewhere in between struggle with balance.
Maybe that can be your unique focus. We may be moms, etc., but we want to be able to compete.
Your high-trafficked article can bring in the readers, but moms like me stick around because you help us compete in the blogging world as bloggers in business, not mommies.
I tend to agree with Aaron there in that last post, in that it’s all up to you. I tend to think that your original goal, was to provide a service for moms at home who are business minded. At least that is what your URL address says to me. Or perhaps it just describes YOU. In my case, it’s about who I am and where I am going, and being a mom is just a part of the ride.
I would miss it on your site if “mom” or “parenting” related issues were never addressed and it was strictly entrepreneurial focused, as I like to think that perhaps that is what ties all your readers together. Business minded parenting folk. It’s one thing to start a business, but another altogether trying to start a business while raising a family.
Wendy –
You continue to pour your heart and soul out for us to see and in doing so, you continue to show us how real you really are. You are a successful business woman with lots of business knowledge to share with us. And you are a successful Mom who is constantly working to find the balance in it all.
Whether we are parents (or not) working from home or in a traditional office setting, we still face many of the same goals and challenges.
We all want to be successful. We all want to have time to spend with those we love. We all want to have time to spend nurturing our own souls.
Your experiences and posts are applicable to all of us (especially if we can get past the notion of Mommy or Daddy, work at home, stay at home, work in an office) and showing us your Mommy side is not a bad thing. The knowledge and skills you have learned from being a parent are not skills to be ashamed of rather they should be embraced.
I like the variety – and would guess that most of your readers do too. Continue to follow your heart and post what is on your mind, share with us what works for you and what you are dealing with at the moment.
I am sure that this response doesn’t really make things any clearer for you, but you should know that many of your readers are here for you no matter what.
Have a wonderful weekend and turn off that thinking cap for a while.
Wendy–
It’s just not worth the effort worrying what people think about you. Remember: “Those who mind, don’t matter; those who matter, don’t mind.”
Wendy, you go out of your way to include Dads although your URL name is a built-in stumbling block, and I appreciate that very much since my husband was a full-time Dad with each of our kids until they were about 2-3. He took a lot of crap and stayed focused and cheerful, and I love him so much for that.
Just do what feels right in your posts, and your audience will follow. If some of them are too “Mommy/Daddy-ish” and I don’t happen to need that, I might not pay much mind to those particular posts, but I’ll still follow your blog.
Wendy – one thing I’ve noticed lately in coming to your site is that the MyBlogLog photos are almost always at least half, if not more, male. Your site has universal appeal. Maybe you should register “eparentsathome” and forward it.
I agree with some of the other posters – follow the flow of the blog, post what comes naturally, and do what feels right to you! You can’t please everyone, so you have to please yourself. Follow your joy!
One other element of this post I noted – as a follow-on to your previous (fabulous) post on where to go next with your business – is that you went a really healthy direction with after-action on this post.
While you are asking for our feedback, your implication seemed to be, “Here’s a meaty subject, discuss and provide me your input, let’s support each other.” It’s a really solid alternative to “Discuss with me and I’ll support you.” You’re an inspiration, and I’m sure a great coach, but you can’t coach everyone one-on-one.
One of my favorite bloggers, John Scalzi of Whatever, is very blatant about it – he says, “I’m going to be very busy today, here’s a controversial topic, talk among yourselves, I’ll be back later to check on the thread.”
I don’t know if that’s what you were aiming for, but building a community sense of support might help with one of your spread-too-thin issues.
I am trying to decipher my own feelings on this one. First of all I feel surprised. Surprised that someone like you struggles with these kinds of questions – obviously I have put you on a pedestal. So second I fell gratitude. I am thankful that you let yourself be known so that someone who has put you on a pedestal can bring you back down and realize that you are a compadre – which is so much more fun to think about!
Then scared since I am so new still and look at you as having so much experience yet see you’re haunted by these crazy hard questions…
So I am thinking that just by being a person who thinks and analyzes your business choices in this way will lead you on the correct path – maybe a winding path but a sucessful one.
I agree with neena on this one.
I also want to say that if I hadn’t come across your blog maybe I wouldn’t have found my direction or my voice on where I want to take my blogging and my career on the internet. Surprisingly it seems that the designer in me is taking more form then the health promotion side. You want to talk about conflicting feelings and identities wow.
I struggle now with do I go down the internet how to and design path or do I follow the health promotion road which brought me to the crossroads as to where I am at now. I am thankful that with both endeavors I have been able to not have to worry about child care and everything else because my son is in school now and I can have productive chunks of time to myself now.
Keep up with how your doing things because you resonate with every demographic out there that pertains to being a professional and being a parent. Parenting and working is something that requires a skill to balance and I am thankful that you are one of those that dare to show parents how to balance it. I am glad to be in the same elite club with you and others on your blog.
…MyBlogLog photos are almost always at least half, if not more, male. Your site has universal appeal…
Actually, I joined the eMoms community because I thought Wendy looked hot in her avatar photo.
I know, I know, I need help. 
Seriously, I don’t think you should consider your perspective “internal stereotypes,” but rather just what it really is, a unique perspective on home businesses. If you try to put a more generic spin on your content in order to reach a broader audience, you may end up coming across as insincere. In the end, I think you have to be true to who you are. Smart people will learn to glean those things you write for their own self-growth, regardless of whether they can relate to your mommyhood or not. I know that’s been true in my own case.
Just my two cents.
I’m so glad I found this blog! I’ve been looking for ways to stay home and work, and hopefully I can discover solutions here. It’s great to know how many others are doing the same. Keep up the great work!
Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt
http://www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com
Definitely something I’ll think about. But I’m happy to say that I don’t feel neglected. Glad you’re doing something to bring us in further.
Being that I own a mommy community and I am friends with a lot of mommy bloggers there seems to be two sides which I think a lot of us are trying hard to merge together, in the beginning it felt you had to take a stance goto work or raise your kids but what about doing both? I am a huge advocate of runnings your business from home and raising your children. I think its crap and annoying that people assume its women, just because a lot of women do but however the same is true for dads they have every right and reason to stay home to raise the children.
I also think its your blog So you can combine the two, i mean your domain name is emoms at home so its geared towards women who are working at home so combining the both, making it a little more favored for the people who do work at home and are moms might also bring more readers to the plate.
I think you already strike a perfect balance.
About the perceived barriers, I think that appealing to people on a person to person level is the only thing we can do. I have no problem putting myself in others’ shoes and identifying and trying to understand every situation, I believe that knowledge and change are what life is all about, embracing new possibilities and jumping in the pool of innovation.
I have met and do know some people who do not have this ability and this is what, I think, creates those barriers. Those with the inability to empathize, or understand and appreciate an alternate point of view, new and interesting changes in the world, are also unable to understand what the internet has been and is becoming. What lots of people have know for years is still judged by those with closed minds, those afraid of change, that resist it instead of embracing it.
A close friend of mine and I always remind ourselves when we witness people walking past obvious opportunity, that this simply leaves more for those of us ready for it, that are intrigued and push on despite criticism and judgement.
E Moms provides information and humor and I think that the Kumbayah aspect is endearing and wonderful. In a world of Separatists, it’s refreshing to see the inclusion of everyone on your blog.
I don’t think you need to change a thing, but if you feel you’d like to harness this knowledge, maybe you could design a survey of topics and see which are the most popular among readers and include periodic articles based on that knowledge? Myspace surveys provide code you can embed easily, and there are lots of them that provide custom surveys.
Wendy, you are doing a fantastic job. Just thought I´d say that right off the bat.
Your posts obviously are at just the right level for readers of both sexes. We are all still here! So why do you want to change? Your articles are perfect the way they are, and as one reader mentioned above, maybe we won´t pay attention to one or two posts, but we will still follow the blog!
If this blog were too mommyish, the guys wouldn´t stick around long enough to comment, so I think that is a very good indication that you are on the right path.
I love this post because I’m struggling with the same issues. I’ve taken my business name and turned it into a blog and now I’m intertwining it with personal posts – something everyone says don’t do…. yet I find I enjoy those posts more, and sometimes even a better response. (even though I’m still a really low traffic blogger).. so, my answer, and what I’d coach others to do:
Write what you love.Then write some more.
I think that is what you do anyway.
Excellent comments here everyone. I too loved the 94 tips for kids at home post, but I recognized it wasn’t something that Wendy would likely keep doing…and it doesn’t really seem to fit with her other topics on internet marketing. I’m all about focusing and writing for your niche and what you are passionate about. While the post was wildly popular, it might be because Wendy doesn’t write about that topic often and people don’t expect it if they are regular readers (although new people likely DO expect it).
There’s a ton of mom blogs out there and Wendy could join the bunch, but I would vote that she keep her internet marketing posts going and find a new URL for this blog.
Wendy owns a great URL and she could use it to direct traffic to another URL that fits better with her brand/writing about internet marketing and blogging.
However, if she DOES want to write more topics for parents who work at home, then I’d say keep this URL and build your brand around it.
Wendy may be ready to embrace the online challenge of a URL/company name change! It’s not the first time people have done it… the classic Dreyer’s ice cream recently changed to Edy’s…and it works better since there’s no conflict with a similar name as Breyer’s anymore. They are defining who they are.
Hi Wendy –
I’m a fairly new reader of your blog but I have to say your posts make sense, are easy to read, and relevant to almost anyone who is pursuing an entrepreneurial career.
I, too, struggle with the time it takes to maintain our blog (www.babblesoft.com/blog). I blog to support my business and help get it off the ground. I started your e-course but since working on my blog is just one of the things I do, it’s taking me a long time to finish it but after doing Day 2 I saw hits to our site double! The link to your blogjolt site isn’t working for some reason. As for answers to your questions:
What is my ultimate outcome for this business? Only you can figure that one out and maybe there doesn’t have to be an ultimate goal…maybe you just enjoy the journey.
What can I do to test this theory on a larger scale? Writing posts like this for one. If writing more mommy posts makes you feel better than do that, if writing them makes you feel too uncomfortable then don’t do it often. Do a survey of the mommy blogs out there and figure out which ones get the most traffic and why. (you probably have already done this.
)
How can I bring more parenting content into this blog while continuing to be true to the roots of the other popular content on this site?
Maybe have a guest blogger that posts only parenting content and you focus on parenting/blogging/entrepreneurship posts. I think what’s best about your site is that you your family and business experiences blend together so your content does bring in your family experience along with your business experience…which is great!
How can I look at this as an opportunity to grow?
Map it out…you will figure it out. I still think you can sell your e-course or even better yet get someone to sponsor it, give them the ability to advertise in the emails that come out, and keep it free to your readers. Get Google to sponsor it!
How can I overcome my own internal “mommy stereotypes†to find a way to empower moms, dads, and non-parent entrepreneurs to break down the perception that there are walls between us in the first place?
Yikes, that’s a tough one. I think our internal stereotypes and perceptions of ourselves can often be our worst enemies. I think you are empowering moms, dads, business people all around the world already.
Finally, I agree with some of what the others have said about changing the name of your blog to eparentsathome.com (however that might be a bad one because you could read it as ‘eparent sat home’
) or lifestyleentrepreneurs.com or entrepreneurslife.com. better yet you should hire the person who helped you come up with the other domain names you were working on!
Good luck. I know I’ll keep reading your blog as long as you put out interesting content like this.
Don’t change a thing is what I say.
I’m a work at home Dad, I home school our youngest, and some how work in a little writing everyday.
I also make this blog a daily stop. I find your advice well founded, and informative.
I will however admit, when I first found your blog a few months back, I left promptly with the thought I was about to find recipes for meatloaf.
But just last week a friend of mine suggest I take a second look. Boy am I glad I did. I have learn a lot, and I think you for that.
I’m here to stay, so go ahead and give me a meatloaf recipe.
A facinating post and comments to follow. I’m a dad at home and what attracted me initially to this blog was the name – let me tell you there isn’t a lot of stuff out there for dads that are at home and yet we face almost exactly the same challenges AND I’ve got to tell you there is a considerable amount of discrimination against men who choose to stay at home and work whilst looking after the kids.
It’s a real shame there aren’t stats available to show the sex of those who picked up on the “94″ post. I wouldn’t mind betting next months mortgage payment that a high proportion were men.
I should just like to add that should the site be a bit more “momsy” I would still remain subscribed to the feed.
That is interesting regarding the popularity of that post…
I read the Mommy Millionaire recently. It was written by Kim Lavine of Green Daisy. I highly recommend it. She writes of 10 Commandments for the Mom in Business and one of them is.. Do NOT apologize for being a Mom. You’re so powerful and incredible because you can build a huge business from your kitchen table.
I love that… I really am working on embracing the Mom in businessmom.
It’s hard for me to jump in here and not acknowledge all of these amazing comments – thanks so much to EVERYONE who has shared their thoughts. You’ve helped me to pretty much confirm that I am on the right path with my thoughts and actions.
I will say that some things will be changing around here – but you can always count on thoughtful posts from the heart from me no matter what happens. THAT will stay the same.
And David – your comment has to be one of my most favorite comments of all time. I’ve never posted a recipe in my life, let alone a meatloaf recipe. But just for you, I might have to make that happen!
fwiw on the blogging front, it always blows me away when i see some of the amusing search terms that lead people to my blog. for some reason, “paul mccartney” is consistently #1. (yeah, i like him, too, but i write a lot more about my kids and life than i do about the cute Beatle.)
