Have you ever had a ‘vacation hangover’? You come back from sunny shores to have a seriously difficult time focusing on work… coming in late and sneaking out early for as long as possible until you get back into the swing of things.
I’m here to ‘fess up. I’m not balancing so well lately. I think I’ve got a serious WORK hangover.
It started with the site redesign, I was working non-stop to get it all done. Then Elite Retreat hit soon thereafter, and then my head was spinning with new projects…
And before you know it, I’m up to 12-15 hour work days. Here’s the kicker – I’ve gotten so into the groove of working that I almost feel withdrawals when I force myself away from the computer!
I was all excited because this week on the 4th day of the month, I had already earned half as much money as I did for all of March. The contest is going awesome. My brand is growing at astronomical rates. And I have a HUGE announcement to make soon about another project I’ve been invited to work on…
But I had a sneaking feeling that something was missing. I realized I hadn’t written a post recently that came from the heart. I mean this kind of post, the kind that built this blog in the first place.
I swear, you’d think I would have this work – life balance thing figured out by now. But I have come to the conclusion that the best way to figure out how to balance things is to look at them when they are way off balance. Like now.
I’m surprised how hard it is to write this post. I’ve always been very transparent here, knowing that as I work through things it will help others do the same. I know there is another entrepreneur or two (or a thousand…) out there that finds themselves in the same spot – a big project hits, we put in long hours, and then a few months later, we realize we haven’t been doing the things we KNOW we need to do to stay ‘happy and sane’. At first, it was easy to justify because we had a big deadline. But then it became a habit – one which is extraordinarily difficult to stop.
I wish I had an upcoming vacation to break the pattern. But the next best thing is to forget ‘balance’ and just plain start ‘cutting back’:
- I must give up some of my writing gigs that aren’t generating enough revenue
- I must stop being so damn perfectionistic about my site layout and leave my dang template alone
- I must commit to ending my work days at a certain time
- I must let go of the fact that I simply cannot respond to every one of the hundreds of emails I receive daily
- I must stop working on weekends (well, I can commit to no work on Sundays…)
I don’t think any of us have a hard time with the above. The hard part is dealing with the guilt and anxiety of letting that work just SIT there, while we force ourselves to shift gears. I have a few coaching tricks up my sleeve for that one – but just putting this out in the open forces me to be more accountable and to remember to lead by example.
Rather than listing all the ways I know to break out of this, I want to hear from you. What are the ways you break out of your “work hangovers”? How do you swing the pendulum away from work and back towards life?
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Sparkplugging Founder Wendy Piersall is dang passionate about helping people start & grow a business while maintaining life balance (somehow). 
Easton Ellsworth is owner of 
I think I have a life hang over. I’ve been working non stop for like 2 weeks straight on everything then the past 2 days i’ve sat back at work just watching tv shows.
I haven’t the energy.
LOL Amanda – you seem to have skipped the pendulum swing between one and the other, and just plain teleported from work crazed to tv crazed!
Having a husband that won’t let me near the computer on weekends helps
Outside of that, I can come up with darn near 100 excuses as to WHY I have to check the computer.
I’m a workaholic too and honestly don’t know how to walk away. It’s a forced thing around here.
And to be honest Gayla, you and I share that goal of wanting to earn enough so that our hubby’s can quit their jobs and start their own businesses too! Yours wants to do organic farming, mine wants to do real estate investing.
Sometimes with such enticing dreams, it’s hard to stay focused on the present!
This is by far the biggest challenge when you work from home – in my experience. Unfortunately I am not really doing a good job of it either lately, so I don’t have any good suggestions.
Sometimes going for a drive with your significant other can be just what the doctor ordered. You can’t check your email in the car, and if you have a nice desitnation in mind (like a restaurant in another town or a picnic in the woods), it can help to unwind and reconnect with someone you love. I spend practically 24 hours a day in my home, and I’ve realized that just taking a chance here and there for us to get out for a couple of hours can be relaxing and energizing all at once.
Hi Ladies! My dear friends Wendy, Gayla, Char & Amanda,
I hear each of your voices within my past Psycho-Ponn, prior to my car accident, and prior to dealing with my disabling brain disorder.
1. Your transpracy, honesty and willingness to be human in all your business transactions speak much louder than words–because it is during times like Wendy’s experiencing now that we, your loyal clients/readers/friends/supporters (whatever)will stick with you and allow (and *highly* encourage) you to take time off!
2. Let go of guilt. Here’s an article “Leave Your Guilt at the Door”.
3. I can *not* sit at the computer for so long, my back, hands, and head (brain CNS flow specifically) inhibits me from staying glued to the PC. Try Amanda’s TV craze. Wendy I *know* you’re not keeping up with your meditations. Set a schedule, stick to it! Let your kids and hubby be your excuse to leave the desk…I don’t have to ask, its a given at my house…”Mamaaaaaaa” has an awful screech with only girls at my house
4. Yes, money, lifestyle changes, etc. are all *huge* motivators to keep you on your toes when the “Big-Time” really happens and happens fast! BUT, if you don’t have your health, sanity, sense of family control now–your energy, time and monetary investment now may not be worth the great big pay-off.
Wendy, remember our own interview your 1st answer about what we need to succeed in business “self-worth”…keep yourself in check always and put your health, sanity and family first! Distribute long hours evenly, give up perfectionism (I have an article about that some where…)
AND,
5. OUTSOURCE! The sign of a “Good Leader is the ability to have your legacy live on, after you leave…not, in your ability to achieve and become a “legacy” now”. Lead, as you said, by example…but, utilize the greatest asset: human resources.
I *know* you have a highly-qualified intern lined-up. Utilize her!
REpost your intern post now, with all your new traffic your bound to get interns killin’ to gain some experience and exposure just by being able to “work” with you. I have interns always emailing me…the trick take I learned: you get what you paid for…and I’m learning a TON about my personal patience, to outsource for free.
6. I feel ultra-blessed to have a hubby that literally threatens to “shut down” My Account, or makes me ’sit down’ in what I always think is a ‘time-out’, but is always a romatic hand-hold-of-security to *not* push myself. I saw death nearly twice, I can and must prevent work overload…that’s about the only thing in my control. Accidents and congenial fate, are not in my hands.
BTW, all my thoughts are pretty much aligned write now, because I just did a brain-dump on this very topic, and have ~3 posts lined up to share later tonight, or tomorrow (depending on my energy)
Much love, support & empowerment to you!
Peace y’all (for now),
Ponn
PS. No time to edit…I have 4 minutes left on my Account time-keeper
Hey Wendy. Can you get in my post and edit it. I must have left out a at the end of my article link…SO sorry!
And, I was typing while Lornadoone posted. Here, here! As I too am in the house all the time…car drives with hubby is most refreshing (mind, body * soul). Wth the girls we blast kids’ song, open windows and rock around to the most childish happy tunes available
I so love being a Big-Girl
Ah, yes… the joy of sorting out that classic problem: Balancing Life & Work.
This is such an enormous struggle for entrepreneurs who often love what we do and do what we love. (That’s why we’re in this business, right?)
I can relate to all of your “cutting back” goals, Wendy. Thanks for reminding me to balance my own life.
my husband and I were just talking about how we get drawn in to the office. We’ll often be at our own desk, working on things or reading/researching etc. when there’s a world of other things we *say* we’d rather be doing – what is up with that? (just one more feed, just one more e-mail, just one more…)
Guess the fact that we’ve talked about it means we can do something about it, so that’s good.
Balancing is hard work.
I actually had to sit down and write out each and every task that I work on each day, and I was appalled at the length of that list!
Now, I have workaholic tendencies, too, and I have some HUGE projects that I am working on, but the bottom line for me was 2-fold:
1) I had to make certain things a priority. Even though I never seem to stop being “swamped,” I still get some sort of outdoor exercise every day, and I still eat dinner with my family – no matter what.
2) This was the real kicker – I realized that my workaholic tendencies aren’t as “workaholic” as it would seem, because I am doing the work that I love! I CHOSE to do this for a living, and when I get down time, it not always that I NEED to get work done during that time, but that I truly WANT to work.
However, all of that being said, the end goal is to work quite a bit less than I do right now, so in the meantime, I still get that exercise and that family time every day.
Wendy ~ Do you think we are subconsciously wanting to help our husbands in businesses they would love so they’ll allow us more time to work on the one we love?
hmmmm
Ponn ~ thanks for such a thoughtful post. It really is quite thought provoking. I know I’m guilty of being firm in my belief that if I don’t keep up with the expectations of readers (even though I have no real clue what those expectations are) I will lose out in the long run.
In the end, I’m like Aaron — It just doesn’t feel so much like I’m a workaholic because I love what I do SO much!
Thats why I always have to remember to look at my own situation through the eyes of my family.
Since I’ve been doing MY SOHO online biz (it’s into a 2nd year now), I think I work more than I used to when I was employed. It’s like so hard to take time off because new things keep on coming in and the excitement is just to much to let it cool. The only time I take leave was when I was down with fever and flu.
My hubby is a workaholic too (he’s employed and a freelance systems developer) so the only time we relax and take a break from work is during the meal time and the 2-3 hours of weekend outing together.
But in our case, we told ourselves that we will work hard now before we have any child and try to work less once the little one is around (in 2 or 3 years time, hopefully!)
Great assessment, Wendy.
I’ve gone through this as well. My wife might even say that I’m still doing it.
One thing that made a huge difference for me is defining my work day hours – and then holding firm to them. Knowing I have a limited time each day forces to me look at how much I’m getting done.
The other thing for balance is that I had to do things outside my business – and other than my family. Spiritual practices, hiking, even yard work can give me other activities where I’m not parked in front of computer all day.
I do think you’re right…the best time to look at your imbalance is when it’s at an extreme. If you can find the time.
May I suggest that there isn’t “balance” but just “life?” Balance implies two things that need to be equal, but my life has 7-8 areas of focus that are constantly in motion.
There are times when my non-paying stuff takes over (My wife and I are in the middle of unpacking from a move to a new house)and other times when my paying stuff takes over.
If you try and “balance” you’ll never succeed. There is only “choice.”
So the question I always ask: Is what I am doing now the best choice for me to make in my life right now?
The integrity of choice trumps balance.
(PS Great blog!)
Scot, I try to remember that balance is more than two things being equal.
Balance also means to ‘weigh’ things in comparison. Not two but many. And, like an accounting ‘balance sheet,’ the parameters of what we balance and how we balance it are always changing.
I hear you about moving. And I would guess that once you’ve reached an acceptable level of unpacking, you’ll likely take time to rest in your new home. One balances with the other.
So I find balance to simply be a natural phenomenon between all the aspects of our lives. We give a little more here and take a little more there – always changing; swaying back and forth.
Remember, balance can mean to arrange or adjust proportions. Isn’t the how of that integrity of choice?
Wendy,
I found your site to here through MyBlogLog. Very interesting article btw. For me I found out that the only way to keep me away from my computer checking email is actually to go on a cruise
On a ship in the middle of the ocean somehow helps me to get a little get-away time….