Top 5 Reasons To Watch The Super Bowl Alone
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The Super Bowl is one of the largest sporting events of the year, uniting die-hard sports fans with people that are watching purely for the commercials.
In the weeks preceding the Super Bowl, people are abuzz with where to watch the game and planning Super Bowl parties. This is great if you’re not a sports fan and are one of the people that says you thought Eli Manning played for the Indianapolis Colts.
For true sports fans there is only one way to watch the Super Bowl - alone in the comfort of your own home!
Top 5 Reasons to Watch the Super Bowl Alone
- Best seat in the house. There is nothing worse than attending a Super Bowl party and having to sit on the hard folding chair positioned behind the couch, or worse yet have to stand for the entire game. If you decide to host the party, you’ll have to battle with people stealing your seat when you do get a break from playing host. By flying solo for the big game, you will not have to fight for your seat and can kick back and relax.
- One word - TiVo. Need to hit the bathroom? Is your beer empty and you have an urge to make a sammich? No problem - pause the game and don’t worry about missing a thing. When you are at a Super Bowl party, you cannot demand that the game be paused so you can walk the dog. Don’t relinquish the power of the remote control during the ultimate sporting event of the year.
- Flatulence. Speaking of having to go to the bathroom, nothing detracts from the enjoyment of the Super Bowl like having to worry about a fart escaping after you’ve stuffed your face with hot wings and jalapeno poppers. Trust me - you cannot beat having the freedom to let one rip as needed.
- You can actually watch the game. When you’re at a Super Bowl party there is a good chance that the game itself is not the primary attraction. There will be quite a few people in attendance that are not interested in the game at all - yet they will be the people sitting in the prime viewing seats (see #1 above) so they don’t miss a commercial. If you’re at all interested in watching - and enjoying - the actual game, do yourself a favor and watch it at home.
- Control the game. This may come as a surprise but true sports fans have the ability to control the outcome of the game. When your team is playing poorly it is likely a result of the fact that you were sitting in the wrong chair, wearing the wrong jersey, or watching on the wrong television. You’ll lose the ability to influence the game if you’re at a party or have a house full of people that don’t understand why they all have to huddle around the 15″ TV in the garage.
Bonus Reason
There is nothing more frustrating when your team - or the team that you have bet on - is losing and you have to listen to morons your friends babble about the game being over or your team being terrible.
When it comes to sports, nobody is allowed to say your favorite team sucks except you. Avoid the risk of beating someone senseless for proclaiming the game over in the 2nd quarter when your team is down by a touchdown.
If you attended a Super Bowl party this year, I guarantee that you found yourself muttering about at least one of the issues that have been mentioned above.
Next year, do yourself a favor and watch the Super Bowl at home by yourself!
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added bonus, you’re only steps away from your bed. no drinking and driving
Are you serious? the reasons to watch the super bowl with your friends far outnumbers the reasons for sitting alone. The only reason you would ever watch the superbowl alone is if you were some loser who couldn’t find a party to go to.
Pretty legit reasons. But maybe it’s good to find a few good friends (but not too many) to watch it with. And these several people will all agree on what team to root for, which seats to take, and they dont mind each other’s farts. Yep, that’s what you need.
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Hmmm…#3. I don’t know about that. During the Super Bowl, it’s just a bunch of guys anyways and in that case, it’s funny. In fact, I think two Super Bowl’s ago, I convinced my friend from Japan that farting in his face would bring great fortune to the team he bet on.
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@Danielle :: Very good point!
@Rofl :: This year I passed on a few parties to watch the game at home with my wife and kids. Much more enjoyable.
@Kelvin :: Lol, not a bad idea.
@Ed :: The parties I have attended are not just guys, and the ladies certainly don’t appreciate the farts. Did your friend get any great fortune? Or did your promise leave a bad taste in his mouth?
I am definitely one of the sports fans who controls the outcome of the game. I am a Giants fan.
My bf wanted me to go with him to his brother’s place for their party, but his whole family are Pat’s fans. How on earth could I do that?
So I stayed home all by myself. Here’s what I accomplished.
In the 1st quarter, after the Giants scored their field goal, I stopped drinking any alcohol, and only drank soft drinks. That kept the Pats from scoring for the rest of the quarter.
In the 2nd quarter, after the Pats scored and brought the score to 7-3, I immediately moved from the living room to the den. That prevented the Pats from scoring for the rest of the half.
I refused to watch the halftime show, and watched the Puppy Bowl on Animal Channel instead. I believe this is the reason that neither team scored in the 3rd quarter.
When the 4th quarter began, I turned off all the lights in the house and voluntarily gave up eating any more food for the rest of the game. This is what led to the Giant’s go-ahead score.
Unfortunately, I left the den to go to the bathroom (and turned on a few lights in the process) and that allowed the Pat’s to score and re-take the lead.
Now I was desperate. I stripped down to bra and panties and donned my Giant’s jersey, and then grabbed my favorite teddy bear and he and I kneeled down in a praying position in front of the television. This was the only reason that the Giant’s were able to score with Plaxico and re-take the lead.
With less than a minute remaining, and not knowing any more prayers to say, I still needed to stop the Pats. I brought out my airhorn, and on all of Brady’s downfield heaves, sounded the horn directly at the television. That was the only reason that those passes were off-target and uncaught.
When the clock finally ran down to 0:00, I was sweating, my teddy bear’s t-shirt was torn, and I immediately had to go to the bathroom.
But I got the Giant’s to win the game.
You’ll never convince me that watching the game in private is a bad idea.