Career Suicide? Telling The Boss No
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Earlier today I came across a link to a story at The Juggle discussing a post from the WSJ.com’s Law Blog about how one reader decided to say no to the boss.
Have you ever told the boss no?
When your boss calls you with a request to work a late night or come into the office over the weekend, many times you will clear your schedule in order to accommodate the needs of your boss and company.
Do you consider the true cost of such a decision?
Often times the reason that we accept these assignments from our boss is due to the fear of losing our job or being seen in a negative light by our superiors. Fear of losing your job is a very real thing, unfortunately it is not the motivational force that will propel you to success.
At the end of the day, most of us are working in order to provide a comfortable and secure living for our families. Think about that for a minute…
We’re working to provide for our families, yet we cast them aside at a moments notice to please our boss.
A few months back, I shared with you the idea that you can say no at work. Now that doesn’t mean that you should refuse every request at work – particularly from your boss. However, you cannot be a doormat either and always drop your life in favor of work.
As the article from The Juggle mentions, one solution is to agree to the extra work but to revise the schedule such that it doesn’t have a negative impact on your family time.
When I was working at a Dot Com startup company years ago, we were in a mad push to get our product completed and ready for the launch. After devoting many long nights – the kind where you head home just to grab a shower and come right back – to the company, we had a meeting where the CTO demanded that everyone come in over the weekend.
In what I thought was a rather tasteless maneuver, he then proceeded to go around the room asking each person to guarantee that they would be present at a specific time.
When he got to me, I told him that I could not guarantee that I would be present at the specified time as I had prior commitments with my family but that I could come in to complete my work. At this point he questioned me and indicated that I was not committed to the success of the company. Obviously I had a very different opinion.
It should come as no surprise that this startup fell apart with the burst of the Dot Com bubble.
Ever since that day, I have had a new appreciation for putting my family before my work – although there are times that my wife might dispute that with all of the work I do on these blogs.
I’m going to share a secret with you – telling my boss no has certainly not resulted in career suicide.
Jobs come and go but your family is there forever.
The next time that your boss asks you to share the time that is devoted to being with your family, give serious consideration to the potential disappointment and hurt that your family may feel if you were to miss something special and don’t be afraid to discuss the issue with your boss to see if there is a better solution.
Have you ever told your boss no? Did it impact your career?
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Funny how I just wrote a very similar post about this today Derek. I’m in total agreement with you.
I had to learn this the hard way. Family has to come first. No one ever got to the end of life and said, “You know, I wish I had spent more time on my career.”
cory huff’s last blog post..How Important Is Your Relationship With Your Wife?
I recently was point in a position where my job was transitioning from one company to another. The new boss told me with one week to go before the transition date that the only job available for me would me I would need to be staying away from home three days a week.
My daughter was born nine months ago and thought of spending almost half the week away from her was not a happy thought.
So after discussing it with my wife I decided that I could only give my time to my daughter I couldn’t buy it and that if I had to resign my job then so be it.
Was this career suicide? Not so far.
My current employer upon hearing that I was not prepared to work with the new company on the terms they was offering came through with an offer to stay on with them. They have no work in the local area so they are enabling me to telecommute!
My loyalty to that company has increased significantly. They will get the utmost from in return and the beauty of this arrangement is I see more of my daughter than I did before.
Getting my priorities straight and saying no when it matters worked for me and I think in the long run most right minded people can tell the difference between being unhelpful and being principled.
Keep it coming Derek, I agree with a lot of what you post and look forward to reading more.
All the best,
Steve
I think this is like any negotiation. You cannot just give in to every demand. Sometimes you just need to tell them no, and there might be some arrangements that can be made to make both sides happy. Of course, you won’t know until you show resistance.
Kelvin Kao’s last blog post..Today, We Celebrate
I consider myself extremely lucky because my boss is a family-first guy. He’s the first to say that he’s leaving early because we wants to hang out with his family.
If you tell your boss no and you have a valid reason, it shouldn’t result in career suicide. Standing up for what’s important speaks volumes about a person’s character.
If you show that you have your priorities straight, your boss will see that and probably respect you more.
Tyler @ Building Camelot’s last blog post..Pregnancy Week 22: My Wife Won The Battle
When I started working for the company I’m with now, I started as a freelancer/contractor. I think that helped, somewhat, to set the expectation that I would do “after hours” work on a case-by-case basis.
Now that I’ve been hired on full time I still need to explain that I won’t neglect my family in order to work on a fully functional web site. The standing agreement I’ve made is that IF work needs to be done, above and beyond the 9 hours I work in the office each day, it will have to wait until after my kids are in bed. That’s been met more often than not with huffing, puffing and attitude, but at least it can never be said that I wasn’t willing to work into the wee hours of the night.
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