When your job interferes with your marriage it causes all sorts of problems. You know what I’m talking about. Too much time at work, thinking and talking about work when you are at home, and getting upset over things at home because of work stress.

With entrepreneurs, this stress is even worse. The weight of your company is on your shoulders. Every decision counts, and you don’t get to quit at the end of the day and let other people make the important decisions. Do you work from home? If you do, good luck separating your personal and professional life. It’s even tougher. Your children walk into your office, your spouse asks if you can take a moment to discuss something just when you are getting some steam rolling on a project.

Here are a few things that I do that help me keep the work stress away from my marriage:

Prioritize.

When things go really wrong and you feel totally overwhelmed remember this: your marriage is more important. Honestly. When your priorities are in the right place that work stress that you were so worried about can just melt away. My wife (like most) is an amazing person and when I treat her well, she in turn helps me feel a lot better about myself. Every entrepreneur needs someone who supports and encourages them, and my wife is my biggest cheerleader. Because of that, I’m willing to put her first.

Exercise

I bike about 10 miles each way 3 – 5 days a week. Besides being a great form of exercise it gives me plenty of time to mentally prepare in the morning, and to cool down after a tough day. I can take all of my frustration out on the bike pedals.

Whatever form of exercise you like, it releases endorphins, and releases stress. This can only be a blessing for your marriage.

Bring the focus.

Much has been made of a woman’s ability to multitask. I really admire that. You know what, though? Guys are pretty good at focusing in on one thing. It’s a strength all to its own. It helps you win in business, turn it loose on your marriage. When you are home with your spouse give them your full attention and ignore the work stuff.

Plan dates.

Going along with focus, planning a date is a great way to get out of work mode. You know that when you leave work on date night that you’ll be doing something fun with someone you really like, and that shared activity allows you to leave the work worries behind.

Plan time with kids.

Just like your wife, your kids are more important than your job. I’m really passionate about organizations like The National Fatherhood Initiative because they teach people that having a father that is intellectually and emotionally engaged with his children is vital. No one ever laid on their deathbed wishing that they had spent more time at work.

Get perspective.

One thing that I like to do when I’m stressed is give a good friend a call. We might just talk for a minute, or we might go out for a drink and a kvetching session. Blowing off some steam with a friend is healthy, and if you trust their judgement you can also get some additional insight into your situation.

Remember: It’s just business.

A company needs all types in order to succeed, including the emotional firecrackers. If, like me, you’re one of those firecrackers, remember that even when it hurts it’s just a business decision. Don’t make important business decisions when you’re angry, and don’t take out your frustration and anger on coworkers – you’ll find yourself less stressed at home if you make decisions deliberately and with care.

What do you think? What do you do to keep your work stress from hurting your relationships? Let us know in the comments below.

Cory Huff (@aGoodHusband) is best known online for AgoodHusband.net. He also works for an internet marketing firm that specializes in Search Engine Marketing. Cory hopes to leverage the Sparkplugging internship to help performers and artists make money using the internet.

What is it about getting in the car that makes many kids talk incessantly? From the moment their rear end hits the seat, their lips don’t stop moving.

Maybe you have endured a long day of work and just want to enjoy some peace and quiet. Or maybe traffic is a nightmare of cars inching along and you feel distracted. Whatever the reason, too many times we as parents lose our patience with the endless conversation and ask our kids to be quiet.

We really should embrace the “car conversation”, as I like to call it.

When driving along down the road, I have found that my kids will initiate some extremely interesting conversations. Interesting in the sense that they often bounce around from one thing to another, with some bizarre topics usually thrown in for good measure.

The thing that I love about the “car conversation” is how my kids feel so free to talk about whatever is on their mind. They will ask questions that leave me scratching my head trying to figure out what they mean. Sometimes they will make comments that make me laugh and cry all at the same time, like when we were passing a cemetery and my youngest said, “Dad, I want to get you a stone in a place like that.”

As you are driving along, be sure to pay attention when they aren’t talking to you but talking to a friend or sibling next to them. Do your best to stifle any laughs though, as once they realize that you are listening they will stop that conversation and start peppering you with questions again.

The next time you find yourself in the car with your kids, take a moment to embrace the “car conversation” and cherish the time while you have it. To help kick-start a conversation, here are a few questions that you can use to get your kids talking:

• What is the silliest thing you could ever do?
• If you could be an animal, what would you be and why?
• What would it be like to live on the moon?
• If 7-11 is open 24 hours, why do they have locks on the doors?

Shortly after you read this post, I will be putting this into practice as we drive home from Disney World and have hour after hour of car conversations. While there are certainly times that I would prefer some peace and quiet, I have learned to embrace the car conversation as I know it won’t be long and the back seat will be empty.

Photo courtesy of Alex Barth

While I agree with her, I do think there is some validity to having access to work. Is it possible that taking your work with you on vacation helps your work life balance?

Before you cast this idea off as rationale (an excuse) to stay connected to your Crackberry, as my wife likes to call it, give it some thought.

The last time that you took a vacation, what was waiting for you when you returned to the office?

If your work is anything like mine, you likely had a stack of issues on your desk that needed immediate attention. In an effort to dig your way out of the backlog of work, you end up working overtime – thus defeating the original intent of getting away for a vacation.

Wouldn’t it be better to spend 5 or 10 minutes of otherwise down time on your vacation dealing with some of those issues?

It sounds good to me.

Obviously, one needs to be careful as technology can hurt your work life balance just as easily as it can help. However, with proper moderation, you might find yourself returning from vacation knowing that there aren’t any fires waiting to be extinguished at the office.

So, while I plan to pack my laptop and Blackberry for my upcoming vacation, I will be limiting their usage such that it does not take away from our family time.

There will be no need to log in to write blog posts, as I am working on lining up guest authors. There will be no need to log in to moderate comments, as this time I am not running a contest during my vacation (I recommend avoiding that).

When the family has crashed for the night, I don’t see anything wrong with answering a few email messages. When the kids are riding Space Mountain for the 44th consecutive time and I am trying to hold down lunch, I don’t see anything wrong with returning a few phone calls.

What do you think – should you take work on vacation or let it pile up until you return?

Damien Riley, author, teacher and dad, keeps an eye on popculture, the news, and humor all around us. His blog, Dynamite Lesson Plan, tackles the topic of education with a perspective from someone on the inside – an elementary school teacher.

Who am I and why am I here?

Hi there again. I’m a big reader of the Man Page and I’ve enjoyed writing a few guest posts here so you may know my stuff. If not, allow me to introduce myself: I am a public school teacher, specifically 4th grade (9 year olds). I’m writing this guest blog in response to a post Derek wrote some time back in which he made the point that schools can make parents feel irresponsible for taking their kids on vacation. I am attempting to shed light on why different schools have an attitude. I also try to make it very clear that I am pro-family vacation! Finally, I provide the tips you need to take your kid out of a public school painlessly. (and be let in the front door upon return!)

Middle Class vs. Impoverished Schools

Most parents know that schools frown on student “vacations” during the year. What most do not know is the difference between a middle class and a poverty frown. Kids from middle class neighborhoods supply the school with much needed ADA funds when they are present. Kids from poverty schools do it too but they have a plentiful supply of Title I, NCLB, free lunch and many other funding programs.

So what does that mean in plain English?

Basically, the middle class schools need money and every kid in a seat pays it! The impoverished neighborhoods have more money than you can shake a stick at and don’t really worry about attendance as a funding source. Isn’t that ironic? A vacation offers so much and yet it is frowned upon. My parents used to always take us to Disneyland and museums, and even the beach sometimes on school days because they thought we would benefit by it.

Guess what, they were right and we did benefit! Out of 4 kids, all 4 have college degrees and 2 have Master’s degrees. The ultimate learning field trip is a family vacation to talk about. You can quote me on that one.

Schools don’t mind as much when poor kids miss school.

The impoverished kids are my professional area of emphasis. I have worked in inner city, impoverished schools since 1997. I’ve made home visits where the parent is out dead drunk or shuffling to hide the crack pipe. They haven’t all been bad but some things are unimaginable. For example, I found out one of my students was being taken to L.A. once a month and fake blood smattered under his nose so he could beg at the airport and make money for his family. Shall I stop there? I am sure cops and social workers see worse than I have with kids, but I have seen enough to know a few hidden truths.

My point?

Kids in poverty don’t get pulled out for vacations.

Again, the irony is that the school doesn’t follow up and doesn’t make a stink as much with the impoverished kids. Is it protecting anyone at all? This is a tough subject, I hope I haven’t offended anyone but after 10 years I think I have enough experience for an opinion.

How can you pull your kid out painlessly?

I know I am speaking here today to guys around my age 23-53 in middle class homes. I recommend you take your kids out to have vacations. I do. They have too much stress on them sometimes (though a little stress is good sometimes to achieve healthy, well-balanced goals!).

They will learn more about the world in that trip.

If it’s more than 3 days you want to avoid problems with the office and/or the teacher, see if you can do an “Independent Study” packet. Usually you can and the kid never loses any days on the roll. Sometimes they get huge rewards at assemblies and such for perfect attendance. If its just a day or two, just say she/he was sick.

Bon Voyage!

Read more of my education related blog posts at Dynamite Lesson Plan.

Today my youngest son turns 7 years old!

It is amazing (not to mention a little scary as well) that my son is already celebrating his seventh birthday, as it seems like just yesterday that he was a tiny little baby being held in our arms.

Over the years, he has given me plenty of opportunities to reflect on why being a dad rocks and I cherish those moments.

As we celebrate his birthday together as a family (thanks to my flexible schedule I will be home with him all day), I thought that I would share something that we have been doing for both of our boys the last couple of years.

The Birthday Choice.

Two years ago, as our oldest son’s birthday was quickly approaching, my wife and I were dreading the idea of entertaining an army of young children for an afternoon. That was when we thought of presenting our son with a choice.

He could have a party with all of his friends…

Or he could receive a more significant gift from mom and dad.

If you’re thinking that sounds like bribery, well, I guess it is!

As you might imagine, he chose the appeal of receiving the bigger, better, world-changing gift as opposed to spending an afternoon with his friends. My wife and I waited until our son wasn’t looking to high-five that we had diverted the trip to Chuck-E-Cheese and the inevitable need to crawl through the maze of tunnels to find the one child that could not find his way out.

Some might think that a choice like this is encouraging a child to be materialistic.

I like to think that it is teaching them to be realistic.

They learn to evaluate their choices and make a decision that will lead them to the most happiness. The fact that their choice also leads to our happiness as parents is just a bonus. But this lesson will serve them quite well in later life.

Do they spend a few hundred dollars on a party to entertain their friends for an afternoon? Or do they opt to skip the party and enjoy their special gift for many months, if not years?

That really isn’t too different than the decisions that they will have to make many times as they grow older.

Do they spend the money on an elaborate weekend vacation or do they contribute to their Roth IRA and retire earlier? Do they accept the job offer with a higher salary and more hours, or the job offer with a lower salary and no overtime?

As parents, we do not encourage them to make a particular decision and we support them either way. They are welcome to select the party with their friends at the expense of a more substantial gift; however, they have yet to do so since we first presented them with this choice.

For the record, our youngest son did select the more substantial gift this year. In addition to the gifts that we would have bought him whether he had a party or not, he will be receiving Rock Band Special Edition for Nintendo Wii.

Remember how I mentioned earlier that being a dad rocks?

By giving my son a choice on his birthday, I will have an opportunity to rock with him and it really doesn’t get much better than that.

As we rock out this afternoon, I’d like to hear what you think about presenting your child with the choice between a full-blown birthday party with their friends or to have that money spent on a gift for them.

Photo credit: Kevin

With the many different methods of disciplining your child, it can certainly be confusing as to what is the “best” method for your children. To further the confusion, what works for one child may not work at all for another child. Often times parents want to use one method of discipline for all of their children and expect the children to behave like perfect little angels at all times.

Regardless of what method you choose, one key to success is that you stay consistent when it comes to discipline. If you don’t stick to it and enforce the rules consistently, your child isn’t likely to follow the rules consistently either. Likewise, when your kids have broken the rules and have been disciplined, don’t waver on their punishment and change the consequences.

No video games all week…stick to it.

Sit in your room for one hour…stick to it.

No TV or movies…but The Dark Knight, no…stick to it.

That last point there put me face to face with the dilemma of altering my stance on discipline this afternoon. With plans to wrap up work early today and take my oldest son to an afternoon showing of The Dark Knight, I was faced with the decision to stick to it or bend the rules when he decided to misbehave.

As much as I really wanted to see the movie today – don’t think I didn’t give serious consideration to leaving him home with my wife and seeing the movie by myself – I knew that the right decision was to stick to our consequences for violating the rules. If I were to bend the rules for this “special occasion”, he would quickly learn that whenever we had something special planned for the day that he would not have to follow the rules.

There are times that you will have to sacrifice something that you want to do in order to stay consistent with your method of discipline. As I mentioned earlier, nobody ever said that parenting was easy.

When your children know what to expect if the rules are broken, they will most likely have an easier time following the rules consistently. That doesn’t mean that they will always behave – but they will understand that they will face the consequences should they decide to not follow the rules. In addition, consistent enforcement of the rules will often mean that there is a reduced amount of whining and crying (can I get an “it’s not fair”) when you do have to discipline your kids.

While you continue to praise your child for good behavior, you also need to stay consistent with the rules and consequences for bad behavior.

Don’t take the easy way out…stick to it!

“You always get to pick the game, it’s my turn!”

“You always get to pick the TV show, I don’t want to watch this.”

“You always get to pick the music, I want to listen to my CD.”

When it comes to siblings, there is no telling what kind of silly things they will find to argue about – who picks the movie to go see, who gets the mail from the mailbox, who turns off the TV (yes, my kids have argued about this before), and who decides whether we go on a bike ride or play football.

As a parent, we try to mediate as many of these arguments as possible. The difficult part as a parent is settling the argument without favoring one child over another.

Earlier today I was reading through some information at All Pro Dad and came across an article that was discussing a Kid of the Week plan to avoid sibling arguments.

The general idea behind the Kid of the Week plan is that each child is assigned the status as the special “kid of the week” on a rotating basis. Whenever a situation comes up during the week, the current kid of the week gets the first selection.

Whenever mom or dad attempts to settle an argument, there is a good chance that at least one child will feel the decision is unfair. With a plan like the Kid of the Week, the children will have a means of settling their own arguments in a fair way that is easy to understand.

In our house, two of the biggest arguments are centered around video games and the television. Since we have somewhat strict rules about how much television our kids can watch and how long they can play video games, they each want to maximize their time watching their favorite shows or playing their favorite games. Using a plan like the Kid of the Week could be a perfect solution to these arguments.

How do your children settle their arguments?

That is what has prompted me to write this post today – as earlier this morning my Grandma passed away after recently celebrating her 90th birthday. After receiving the phone call this morning and spending some time talking to my wife, we had to sit down and tell our kids that Great Grandma had died.

As a matter of fact, that was the first question I asked my wife: “Do we tell them that she passed away or that she died?”

We opted to say that she died.

One of the mistakes that we often make when talking to our children about death and dying is that we try to sugarcoat things to protect them. When talking to kids about death, try not to use words that will confuse them as that can cause even more difficulty.

Consider the following – your child asks, “What is death like?”

You respond, “Death is like going to sleep. Grandma is sleeping.”

When your child associates death with sleeping, don’t be surprised if your child has a very difficult time going to sleep for quite awhile. The fear in their mind is that they will go to sleep and never wake up again.

Last year we had a difficult time as we were mourning the loss of my Opa and our son became ill with an unknown virus that resulted in him spending a rather scary week in the hospital. At the same time, there was another death of someone we knew. As you can imagine, our son became very concerned that he was going to die in the hospital and had a very difficult time sleeping.

While you are being careful to use appropriate words and be as direct as possible, you should also prepare yourself for some very bizarre questions.

“Will the worms crawl all over Grandma in the ground?”

“How will Grandpa go to the bathroom?”

There are a lot of questions racing through a child’s mind when they encounter death, some of which will likely seem inappropriate. It is important to allow your children to express themselves and know that asking their questions will not get them in trouble. As mentioned earlier, be aware of how you answer their questions and be as direct as possible.

Along with the discussions about death and dying, you will be faced with the question of whether your children should attend the wake and/or funeral services.

In my opinion, yes they should – as long as you prepare them ahead of time for what they will (and maybe more importantly will not) see. If the services are open casket, explain to them what the casket will look like and that they will be able to see the person that has died. Also be sure to tell them that the person will not be able to sit up, move, or breathe.

Attending the wake and funeral can offer closure for the child and help them understand that they will not see the person again. However, it is probably best not to force your children to participate. If they don’t feel comfortable going up to see the body, allow them their space and provide them any comfort that they need.

Death is a part of life that children will be exposed to often at an early age. As a parent, we can help that process tremendously by being honest and as straightforward as possible in order to reduce the potential confusion and fear in our child’s mind.

Have you talked about death with your kids?

What has or hasn’t worked for you?

While we will still be hosting the party and it will be the same good time with plenty of food and drinks; there will be more kids in attendance.

During the inaugural party eight years ago, we had a few neighbors with kids but none of our friends had any children. Fast forward to today and the couples with children far outweigh those without.

When it is all said and done, there will be anywhere from 17-22 kids in attendance this year with the general age range between 5 years old and 9 years old.

The household dispute is centered around activities for the kids to enjoy.

We own one of those moonwalk bouncy contraptions and set that up every year. In addition, we usually fill up 200-300 water balloons for the obligatory water balloon fight and feature back yard games such as cornhole (bean bag toss for the uninitiated), ladder golf, and bocce ball.

Beyond these “organized” games, the kids typically run around the yard playing in the fort or the sandbox entertaining themselves.

This year my wife does not feel that the above is sufficient.

I do.

She wants to nix the water balloons, as it bordered on violent last year, and instead opt to rent an additional combo moonwalk and slide inflatable thing-a-ma-job.

I don’t.

The inflatable rectangle of joy that we currently own measures 8′ by 6′ when measuring the interior bouncing area. With more kids nearing the upper range of the 5-9 age bracket, it really isn’t big enough for a lot of them – but the smaller kids can still enjoy it.

The thought is that we can rent a moonwalk that is 15′ by 15′ for the entire day and the bigger kids can bounce their heart out in that while the smaller kids enjoy the bouncy that we own.

At a cost of $250 for the entire day, I think that is an expensive option given that most of the older kids will probably bounce in it for 15-20 minutes and be done. As an example, we just set up our smaller bouncy for our two kids and they were in it for about 10 minutes when a friend called and asked to play. They quickly ditched the bouncy for the time playing with their friends.

When my wife asks me what the kids will do if we don’t have a larger bouncy (or some alternative like a huge inflatable water slide), my response is that they can have a cornhole tournament or we can play some games like dodgeball, tag, or whatever.

Her response to that is those are everyday activities – the 4th of July party should be special.

I agree – but it doesn’t have to be $250 special in my opinion.

As we continue to discuss our options, my wife suggested that I turn to the community and see what everyone thinks about our household dispute.

Should we rent an additional moonwalk bouncy for the older kids?

Are there other activities that would be better?

Speak your mind!

No, we aren’t hosting a birthday party for teething toddlers – although that might be a safer choice.

So what will be the cause of all the commotion?

Camp Rock!

For those that don’t know (which I didn’t until I received the dumb-founded stares and subsequent lecture from my wife), Camp Rock is a new Disney movie that is premiering tonight.

Mitchie Torres, played by Demi Lovato, has a once-in-a-lifetime chance to attend the prestigious musical camp known as Camp Rock. Little does Mitchie know but the camp is loaded with super competitive campers all working to perfect their musical talents. With the help of instructors such as Shane Gray, played by Joe Jonas from The Jonas Brothers, she will learn to face her fears of being in the spotlight.

Our youngest son is a music and hip-hop fanatic and a movie like this is right up his alley. He’ll likely be dancing along with the movie and loving every minute of it.

But it isn’t just my son that will be dancing around and being crazy.

We are hosting a Camp Rock party at our house tonight.

All of the kids from our block are coming over – about 10 to 15 kids total – to have dinner, watch the movie, and get a little crazy.

My wife gets into this stuff more just as much as the kids, as she has made Camp Rock t-shirts and has put together a bag of goodies for all of the kids. The house has an assortment of Camp Rock decorations and if I didn’t know better, I would think our house was part of the movie set.

What about me?

As much as I enjoy the excitement that the kids (and my wife) have for the debut of this movie, I’ll be sitting out on the deck with the other dads having a few cold drinks and some good conversation. Sounds like a win-win situation to me!

Are your kids going to be glued to Camp Rock tonight?

School’s out for summer!

The kids have just arrived home from their last day of school and they are going crazy. In a few short minutes, we are about to have the entire block descend on our house as we host an annual “School’s Out” party for the kids.

Before the kids turn to pulling pranks on their siblings – or worse, you – you need to get them busy with activities. This is also a great opportunity to remind yourself why being a dad rocks and get out there with your kids.

Here are 10 things to do with your kids to make this a great summer!

1. Attend a Baseball Game

Photo credit: joeshlabotnik

Whether you take the kids to a professional game, minor league game, or even a local high school game really doesn’t matter – as just being at the ballpark with your kids is a great bonding opportunity for dads and the kids.

Nothing beats a hot dog at the ballpark or teaching your kids how to crack open a peanut with their teeth and spit out the shell.

2. Go Fishing

Photo credit: binkley27

Grab the fishing poles and a handful of earth worms – although we always used hot dogs for bait when I was a kid – and head down to a nearby pond or river.

While it is fun to get out in a boat, you can have just as much fun standing on the shore casting out into the water.

It helps to have a tackle box with a few essentials, such as pliers, lures, etc. but don’t let the lack of these items prevent you from getting out there. If you plan to fish yourself, be careful as you may require a fishing license for your area and don’t want to get fined for breaking the law.

3. Take Them To The Zoo

Photo credit: brookenovak

Visiting the zoo can be a lot of fun. Not only will you get a little bit of exercise walking around the zoo, you will have the opportunity to learn about animals with your children.

As you work your way through the zoo, ask your kids about their favorite animals and why they like that animal the best. You might just be surprised at what your kids find interesting about the animals and their rationale for why they like a particular animal the best.

As an added bonus, all the walking at the zoo will likely leave your kids exhausted and provide an opportunity for quiet evening with your spouse when the kids crash early!

4. Go Hiking

Photo credit: respres

Just in case the walking around the zoo is not enough activity for you, take the kids hiking.

Many of your local forest preserves likely have walking trails that can test your level of fitness on and have hte opportunity to enjoy nature.

To this day, one of our family’s favorite vacations was visiting the Smoky Mountains where we spent almost the entire trip hiking the trails within the park. We got great exercise and had fun exploring the unknown.

5. Ride Bikes To The Ice Cream Shop

Photo credit: abbynormy

Getting out with your kids for a bike ride is a lot of fun. Seeing their eyes light up when they realize that the destination is the ice cream shop is priceless.

The exercise from riding to and from the ice cream shop is enough to offset the ice cream – well, maybe not but that is what I keep telling myself. Prepare for some great conversations as you sit with your kids on a hot summer afternoon with ice cream dripping down their face.

6. Have A Treasure Hunt

Photo credit: crobj

Whether you break out the metal detector to look for buried treasure or just make up a treasure list like when you were a kid at a sleep over, you will have fun exploring.

Part of the excitement with a treasure hunt is just imagining the possibilities. Maybe you will find some long-lost artifact that would make Indiana Jones proud – or maybe you will just find a dime that has been buried for years. Most kids will be just as happy either way.

7. Go Camping

Photo credit: baronbrian

Camping is a lot of fun and can provide an opportunity to do a lot of the other activities on this list at the same time.

Sitting around the camp fire at night, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories is a classic family activity.

If you’re nervous about heading out into the woods, don’t be afraid to set up the tent in your backyard and pretend like you are out in the wild. Our kids even get a kick out of setting up the tent in the family room and watching movies from inside the tent.

8. Fly A Kite

Photo credit: tocs

When you think of summer activities, flying a kite is probably somewhere on that list. However, you don’t see many kids flying kites anymore.

Head down to the local hobby shop to pick up a kite and some string, or you can be adventurous and try to build your own.

Once you are out at the park, have a competition with your kids to see who can get the kite up the highest. Just prepare yourself for disappointment, as flying a kite as an adult seems much harder than what I remember as a child.

9. Gather Your Kids And Their Friends And Play A Game

Photo credit: davidgrant

Tell your kids to gather up a group of their friends and play a game with them.

Play basketball. Play dodgeball. Play tag.

You against all of the kids.

Your kids’ friends will think you are the coolest dad ever and your kids will likely be feeling the same way. As the kids get older, you can get more competitive and try harder – until the day that you are trying your hardest and they are whooping your butt!

10. Perform A Random Act Of Kindness

Photo credit: glennf

Doing something nice for someone without expecting anything in return will teach your children a very valuable life lesson. It is shocking to see how many people only think about themselves, which is quickly picked up on by children.

Take your kids out to pick up trash in the parks. Take them down to the neighbor who has been working late and cut their lawn. Build a birdhouse and take it to a nearby senior center and share it with someone. Get creative about the activity, just be sure to demonstrate to your kids how rewarding it is to do something nice for someone else.

Get Out There

As you can see with most of these activities, it isn’t so much the particular activity that is important but the fact that you are out there spending time with your kids. Take advantage of the summer weather and enjoy some special time with your kids.

Speaking of kids, the crowd we have at our house right now is calling for more hot dogs on the grill. While I head out to feed the hungry monsters kids, share your suggestions for additional activities in the comments.

With a handful of days with the house to myself, I had visions of being uber-productive.

Can you guess what happened?

That’s right – with so much time to myself, I kept procrastinating on my list of things to do.

After all, with days of uninterrupted free time, I had more than enough time to get everything done with time to spare. Then I got busy on twitter. Then I spent time catching up on all of my RSS reading. Then I spent time watching the White Sox games out on the west coast.

There I sat on Saturday night, less than 24 hours until I left for Las Vegas and with a long list of tasks still waiting to be completed.

Now to be fair, I did spend a good portion of the day on Saturday doing laundry and cleaning the house. Trying to pay attention to my husband balance, I knew my wife would appreciate coming home from her trip to a clean house.

As I raced around on Saturday night, I realized that having a regular dose of family time actually increases my productivity.

The normal schedule of going to work and then coming home to spend time with my family mandates that I make the most of my free time. Without a surplus of time to myself, I am more focused on getting my work done.

It seems counterintuitive that reducing your free time would make you more productive; but this past week I have found it to be true for me.

Maybe I am just a weak man that is too easily distracted by nonsense when I am home alone. Or maybe it was my mind and body telling myself to decompress – yeah, that’s it.

If you find yourself twittering frittering time away, set aside more time with your family and you might just increase your productivity.

While attending SOBCon08, I had a nice conversation with Jeff Sable from Chitika where we chatted about quite a few family activities, including the appeal of attending a minor league baseball game.

As summer is approaching, I am getting the itch to get the kids out to the ballpark to enjoy a baseball game. Given that our preference is to attend minor league baseball games, I thought I would share a few of the aspects that have led us in that direction.

Here are five reasons that minor league baseball is better than their professional counterparts:

1. Cost

It is possible for a family to attend a minor league baseball game without having to take out a second mortgage on the house. And you’ll even be able to get a hot dog or two and not feel like you are being taken to the cleaners.

Not only are the ticket prices cheaper for a minor league baseball game, but often times the parking is much cheaper and might even be free depending on the team.

If you have younger children, don’t be surprised if they say that they want to leave by about the 5th inning. It is much easier leaving early from a game that has not cost you a small fortune to attend.

2. Passion for the Game

While professional ballplayers certainly have a passion for the game, many of them are also being driven by the greed of a bigger contract. In the minor leagues, particularly the lower levels, you have an opportunity to watch young men that may have the dream of the big payday but have a real passion for playing the sport they love.

3. Close to the Action

Have you tried to get an autograph from a professional ballplayer recently? Even if you are able to get close enough to have a chance at an autograph, many players avoid coming anywhere near the fans near the dugout as they know they will be swamped. In the minor leagues, many of the players are very accommodating with autographs – as it is likely just as much a thrill for them as it is for your kids.

In addition to the players being more accessible, many minor league stadiums put you right on top of the action. However, this does require more care as you are also much closer to flying baseballs and possibly even bats.

4. Cool Team Names

Part of the appeal to the atmosphere surrounding a minor league baseball game is the team name. Minor league teams usually have very fun team names with interesting mascots that really appeal to the kids.

Here are just a few examples: Lakewood BlueClaws, Lehigh Valley IronPigs, Hickory Crawdads, Casper Ghosts

5. It’s Not Just a Game, It’s an Experience

The best part of a minor league baseball game is that it is truly more than a game, it is an experience. Minor league baseball teams are really brilliant at marketing and promotion as they do a great job to make the fans part of the game, which will leave a lasting impression on your kids moreso than sitting in the nose-bleed seats to see the local professional team.

From a handful of little kids racing the team mascot around the bases to promotional items being launched into the crowd, you will be entertained in between innings throughout the game.

And when is the last time you and the kids were allowed to run the bases after a major league game?

Take Your Kids To The Ballpark

If you’ve never attended a minor league baseball game, do a search to find the team closest to your area and get the kids out to the ballpark.

It will be a great experience for the whole family!

Photo credit: jslander

Ohio dad jailed after daughter fails to get GED

Fortunately, both of our kids are doing quite well in school and I do not anticipate ever being put in a situation like this – although there are no guarantees.

Apparently a judge ordered Brian Gegner to be sure his 18-year-old daughter received her GED, as she has had a history of truancy. When she failed to obtain her GED, her father was sentenced to 180 days in jail for contributing to the unruliness or delinquency of a minor.

What?!?! 180 days!

In a day and age when many celebrities are living above the law, this man gets sentenced to 6 months in jail because his daughter cannot be responsible.

According to the story, the mother mentioned that they would take their daughter to school but she would skip out the other door.

Is that really the parents fault?

Unless one of the parents was able to babysit at the school, how are they supposed to prevent their daughter from cutting school? Shouldn’t the school have some responsibility in ensuring that the students cannot easily cut school?

With a motion filed to reconsider the sentencing, one would hope that someone in the judicial system comes to their senses and reverses this sentence.

What do you think about this dad being put in jail?

Should the parent be held accountable for their child’s actions?

Even when the “child” is 18-years-old?

At some point you need to hold the child accountable for their own actions, particularly when that child has reached the age of majority. Personally, I believe the message would have been much better served to hold the daughter accountable in this case as opposed to sending the dad to jail.

In this example, what lesson has the child really learned?

Guys, be sure to take the time to tell your wife, your Mom, your sister, and any other Moms that you know how much they are appreciated and how much they mean to you.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought that I would share a little booklet that our youngest son made for his Mom:

My mother looks prettiest when… she goes somewhere fancy with my dad or all the time.

My mother likes it when… I go to sleep. (we got a good laugh from this one)

If I could give my mother something special, it would be… a huge HD flat screen TV and a theater. (I did not tell him to write that, honest)

My favorite thing about my mother is… she loves me.

The funniest thing I can remember about my mother… is when she tickles me and I fall off the couch.

My mother loves me when… I do my chores.

Mother, thank you for… taking care of me.

Take a moment to think through these thoughts and how you would answer them when thinking about your own Mom. It might be fun to write down your answers and share them with your Mom, as you are never too old to tell your Mom how much she means to you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

As the date came closer and closer, I have to admit that I began to feel anxious about the experience and questioned why I had signed up.

It wasn’t because I doubted the value of the conference.

It wasn’t even because I was going to miss one of my son’s Little League games, which ended up being rained out anyways.

It was because I am extremely shy.

Typically, when I am in an environment of people that I do not know, I am perfectly comfortable standing off to the side observing everyone. But as our own Wendy Piersall mentioned during her presentation, you need to step out of your comfort zone.

While that isn’t always pretty, it is critical to your growth as a person.

Fortunately, I didn’t back out of attending SOBCon08 as it gave me an opportunity to learn from some of the most talented people; which includes both the speakers and the other attendees.

As much as I would like to say that I was a social butterfly during the event, I wasn’t. It was difficult for me to approach people and introduce myself, but I did push myself beyond my normal comfort zone and as a result I met quite a few outstanding people.

Here are some of the fine people I had the pleasure to meet:

• Wendy Piersall :: Believe it or not, this was the first time that Wendy and I met in person but it felt like we were old friends. Wendy helped shove nudge me out of my comfort zone from time to time as she introduced me to people, but I love her for it as I might not have done it myself.

• Chris Garrett :: Chris was one of the first people Wendy introduced me to and I am glad she did. Chris is such a down-to-earth guy and his presentation absolutely rocked. While Chris had admitted to being somewhat introverted as well, I never would have guessed it.

• Stephen Hopson :: A few days before the event, Stephen and I chatted via email and I was really looking forward to meeting him. From the first handshake, I was impressed by Stephen’s excitement and attitude.

• Lorelle VanFossen :: From being put on the spot to share my most profound moment to sharing ten words to describe what I do, Lorelle has an amazing energy about her that can inspire anyone. While we didn’t get a ton of time to talk, I cherished the conversation that we did share.

• Easton Ellsworth :: Easton was someone that I had conversed with prior to the conference, as he had shared 12 blogging tips to improve my blog with me last year. While we only chatted briefly and sat together over lunch, Easton came across as a very intelligent and thoughtful person that I would be honored to know better.

• Debra Moorhead :: Little did I know what was in store for me when Debra sat down next to me for the Mastermind groups. Debra is a very talented and inspirational woman, as well as a successful author, who shared so many great suggestions with me. Thank you Debra and I hope to talk more with you about a few things.

• Jeff Sable :: Jeff is from Chitika and is really a great guy. We shared a nice conversation on the boat cruise and I was also fortunate to have Jeff in my Mastermind group, as he really gave me a few fresh ways to look at my approach to blogging.

• Dawud Miracle :: It was a true pleasure to meet Dawud. Not only is he a brilliant person, but he can tell a story like nobody else and had me laughing all night long. Dawud is one of those people that if you knew the things that he forgot, you would still be on the road to success.

• Sara :: Sara and I had also shared a few emails before the event, as she was the winner of a contest on my personal blog. During the FuelMyBlog meet-up, Sara made an effort to get me out of my comfort zone as well and I appreciate her for that.

• Paul O’Flaherty :: Paul is a great guy with a sense of humor that I can really appreciate. We had the opportunity to share a few laughs (and drinks) throughout the weekend, although I never had the chance to hook up for the interview on Saturday.

• Vicky H. :: From the opening night festivities to drinks on the eve of the conclusion, Vicky and I shared quite a few interesting conversations. Vicky, I’m looking forward to the first post (and many more) on your blog and don’t hesitate to ask questions about anything.

• AmyL :: Amy and I only had one chance to sit and chat, but let me tell you that I was captivated. As a father to two boys, I can only imagine how much work she has to do with four boys! It was very interesting to talk about the impact that the economy is having near Amy’s hometown and my heart really went out to the people facing difficult times.

• Karen Hanrahan :: Karen has been a commentator here on The Man Page and it was such a pleasure to sit and chat with her. We talked about so many different things and in an odd moment of irony, Karen’s daughter is strongly considering attending my alma mater.

• Michael Martine :: After viewing Michael’s video from the airport on his way to SOBCon, we had a chance to chat briefly about capturing video and I hope to interview Michael in the near future for his take on work life balance.

• Stephen Smith :: Stephen has an amazing enthusiasm about what he does and it was a pleasure to share a few great conversations. It was so rewarding to share a small piece of knowledge with Stephen that he ran with and used to create a new site. Stephen, I look forward to our paths crossing again!

• Kristen King :: I had a chance to meet Kristen while looking for dinner plans on Saturday night, as she was down in the restaurant of the hotel I was staying in. Kristen made me think of this site as she seems like a real spark plug of energy and knowledge and I look forward to reading more of her writing.

• Christine Kane :: Christine wowed the entire crowd by performing on the boat cruise, while also laying down one of the best lines during the entire conference. Over lunch on Saturday, I had the pleasure to sit with Christine and it is great to see how she is approaching her blog and her career.

• Lisa Cree :: Lisa is one of the funniest people that I have met in quite some time. Her laugh was simply intoxicating and it was such a reward to share lunch with her.

• Mary-Lynn Foster and George Krueger :: While we only shared a few conversations, I have to say that both Mary-Lynn and George have a real passion for their business. They’re not too far from my home base so I am hoping that we will have a chance to meet again and share more with one another.

• Joseph Hauckes :: Joe is a great guy that has experienced quite a few different things and is happy to share what he knows with others. Joe, the next time you are in Chicago, make sure that you stay outside of the yellow line!

• Valerie Combs and Sandra Ponce de Leon :: Valerie and Sandra from BuzzLogic were both great to meet. We had a chance to chat about working for a startup company and I had to ask them why someone in San Francisco even owns a winter coat. Best to both of you and hopefully we can talk more in the future.

As you can see from the list above, stepping outside of your comfort zone gives you the opportunity to meet people that can literally change your life for the better.

The entire cast and crew at SOBCon08 were truly amazing and made me feel very welcome. While there were people that I would have liked to talk to but didn’t get make the time, there is always next year!

Thank you to everyone at SOBCon08 for making this an unforgettable experience!

He also writes on his blog, deguia.net about current events, life in Sonoma County and the West Memphis Three.

As a parent, often times it’s hard to remember that your childhood was vastly different than your own child’s childhood. This was something that was driven home, abruptly, this past week for me.

For ages now I’ve been trying to teach my 7-year-old daughter how to ride a two-wheeler bike. Every time I try to start the process, it inevitably gets interrupted by common colds, broken bones, bad weather, or life in general getting in the way.

The latest reason: She has outgrown her bike.

After each unsuccessful attempt, without fail, I am left feeling guilty and ashamed as though I’m a bad father for not having it done by now. This is especially true when I remember that I was riding on two wheels around the neighborhood, making jumps off of the dirt ramp at the end of our street, when I was younger than my own daughter.

I’ve spent time thinking back on my own childhood, to see what was different than the childhood I’m observing now. The reasons are numerous and vary in complexity.

Here is one example…

When I was younger, my parents both worked full-time jobs. Starting in second grade, I was responsible for getting myself ready for school in the morning. My dad would leave for work shortly after waking me up and I was the one to dress myself, brush my hair and teeth, get my own cereal, gather the things I needed for the school day ahead, and so forth. After school let out, I would walk home, let myself into the house on days when my mom was not yet home from work, and begin playing or doing home work.

With my own children, their childhood is drastically different.

Chief among those reasons is that we are a one car family. As such, a daily strategy meeting is held to figure out how we will accomplish all of the tasks and errands that need to be done.

Sometimes that requires the kids to ride along with us and spend more time in the car than at home playing in the backyard. I work full time 14 miles away from home. With traffic, it can easily take 45 minutes to drive home. On school nights that leaves little time for playing.

While we have more family time together than I had growing up, they have fewer hours to play each day.

Does that mean that I’m doing a bad job as a dad?

I don’t think so.

I think it’s important to remember that using your own childhood as a guideline for determining your value and success as a parent, rarely works out for the best.

Parenting is something that should be based on actions born of the heart and honesty in the present, rather than on fragments of your memory from decades past.

Throughout your child’s life, you will undoubtedly be given numerous opportunities to witness the moral development of your child. Unfortunately there will likely be instances that make you feel that you have steered them wrong, but there will also be numerous occasions that make you extremely proud and may even bring a tear to your eye.

Today was one such occasion for me.

When I arrived home from work, I walked in the house and heard my oldest son call out to me from the office. As I put my work things away, I asked him what he was doing and he explained to me that he was writing a letter to his school.

The letter that he was writing was an explanation of why he believes that their math homework journal should not include the answers to each problem.

While the answers are intended for the parents to use for checking their child’s work, his friends were explaining to him that it is easy to finish the assignments each day by simply copying the answers from the back of the book.

It was very rewarding to not only see that he has learned that cheating on his homework is unacceptable but also that he would take the initiative to write a letter to his teacher as to why he felt that the answers should be removed from their math journal.

Has your child made you proud recently?

Hopefully the answer to that question is a resounding yes!

If you have noticed your child making suspect decisions, examine the actions that you have been taking.

Have you been telling white lies in front of your kids?

Are you bending the rules to your advantage?

It might not always be apparent but children are very adept at picking up on this behavior. As a result, the next time they face a difficult decision, they may justify making the wrong choice based on the example that you have created.

Teaching your children to think for themselves and make the choices that feel right to them will set them on the path towards the moral values that we hope that they will achieve.

On the way home from work tonight, I stopped off at a local grocery store to pick up a 2-liter bottle of Green River to share a glass with the kids.

As we cracked open the bottle, my kids were anxiously awaiting the first sip of the green soda while my wife questioned my sanity for breaking out the camera to take pictures.

Honestly, I grabbed the first glass cup in the cabinet and had to laugh at the irony of drinking my Green River out of a Killian’s Irish Red glass. Thought that it made a nice picture though.

Ahh…green goodness just waiting to be consumed. For some reason I remember this tasting better as a kid but it still isn’t too bad as a novelty.

Little did I know that one small glass of Green River would turn my son into a beast that looked like he came from the Green River.

While not a crazy night of wild fun, our kids enjoyed this little unexpected treat tonight and it gave us a chance to sit around the kitchen table and spend time together sharing stories and being a little silly.

Happy St. Patty’s Day!

Spending quality time with your children is essential to not only your child’s health and well-being, but also your own. Many men feel that their responsibility is to work hard and provide a decent living for their family. While there is no question that that is important, we also need to pay attention to the relationship with our children.

Here are the 10 ways to make time for your children, along with my comments on each.

1. Commit to a family mealtime each day.

Setting aside time to sit down as a family and share a meal is very important. Eliminate any distractions, such as the television or the newspaper, so you can focus on having some quality conversation.

It may be difficult to always be home in time for dinner but don’t let that stop you. Maybe you can share breakfast on some days before you head to work and the kids leave for school. Or maybe it can be something as simple as a special dessert time after dinner if you cannot get home in time for dinner. Be creative.

2. Write your children’s activities into your schedule book – in ink!

You might not feel like the occasional baseball game or dance competition is that big of a deal, but this is something that is important to your child and your presence demonstrates that they are important to you as well.

Is that late work meeting really more important than the excitement your child feels when they see you in the crowd? Book their events on your calendar and treat their “meeting” just as you would if you were meeting with your boss.

3. Identify one thing on your weekly schedule you can do without and replace it with kid time.

Do you really need to see the new episode of Lost? Look at the variety of ways that you spend your time right now and find something that can take a backseat to spending time with your child.

Honestly evaluate how important each activity is during the week and ask yourself if your time would be better spent building a stronger relationship with your son or daughter.

4. Take one of your children along when you run errands.

While your kids might not always want to run errands, you can spend some great time together running around town. The time in the car offers a great chance to talk about things such as school or whatever is on their mind.

Face-to-face conversation can sometimes be too intimate for your children to feel comfortable sharing all of their thoughts. When you are focused on driving, you may find that your kids will never stop talking – as I know my kids talk a mile a minute whenever we are in the car.

5. Volunteer to participate in a regularly scheduled child activity, such as coaching a softball team or helping with a school activity.

As I mentioned earlier about how much your kids will enjoy your mere presence at their activities, they will really enjoy the time you can spend with them as a coach or participant.

While I haven’t been able to devote the time to coaching one of my kid’s activities, I have had the chance to participate at their school and the smile on their face when I walk in their classroom is priceless.

6. Identify one children’s show on TV that you secretly like to watch and make a point of watching it with your child.

Just one? Seriously, there are quite a few children shows that both my kids and I really enjoy. One show that we all enjoy watching is Drake and Josh on Nickelodeon.

My wife and I have actually watched a few of these shows even when the kids are not around. The family shows tend to have quality family lessons and can provide quite a few topics to discuss with your children.

7. Develop an interest in a hobby you and your child can enjoy together.

There is nothing better than spending time with your child doing something that you both love. There are endless opportunities as to what you can do together – fishing, biking, basketball, etc.

It really doesn’t matter which hobby you share, as the real goal is to just have time to bond together.

8. If your work requires that you travel, take one of your children along with you when your business trip can be extended into a long weekend.

Depending on the age of your child, this may be rather difficult but not out of the question. The largest obstacle would be to find someone that can watch your child while you are occupied with work.

If you’re visiting another office from your company, maybe they have an on-site daycare. You may also be able to talk to who you are visiting and request that your child be permitted to accompany you as long as they behave professionally.

9. If your work schedule is flexible, start your work day earlier so you can get home earlier in the afternoon to be with your family.

Flexible schedules are a great way to make additional time to be with your kids. You can start the day earlier to be home earlier, or maybe spend the morning with your kids and work a little later.

In the summer, I like to get into the office by 6:00am and leave by 2:00pm on Monday and Friday. In addition, I take Wednesday off all year and that provides quite a few opportunities to spend time with my kids.

10. Leave your work, cellular phones and pagers at home when you go on family vacations and outings.

Technology can be a life saver – but it can also hamper your relationships. As I wrote about 5 technologies that hurt your work-life balance, you need to be conscious of not allowing technology to rule your life.

Get Involved With Your Children

There are many ways to get involved with your children. Whether it be one of these ten suggestions or something else that you have discovered, get out there and be an active part of your child’s life.

As a matter of fact, I had to take a break while writing this post to have a “national fighting” match with my budding boxing champion and now it is time to unplug and enjoy a pizza and movie night with the family.