Being another year older brings many great fortunes, although it can also bring many things that we don’t want to accept. For many men, one of those things is the prospect of going bald.

Personally, I am not one that worries about losing my hair. As a matter of fact, I am to the opposite extreme in that I would actually welcome the loss of my hair.

The last 15 years have seen me chopping of my locks, moving from the clean razor shave through my college years to the closely shaved buzz that I fashion now. My years are catching up to me and my hair is thinning in a few of the common spots, such as the traditional area known as “the island” – you know, kind of like David Letterman.

Am I alone in embracing, if not encouraging, the loss of my hair?

Given the number of commercials and advertisements that I see for hair restoration products for men, I have to believe that I am in the minority. Spend an afternoon at a crowded public venue and you are bound to see more comb-overs than one should ever see.

Why do so many men fear being bald?

That is a great question; unfortunately I don’t think I have an answer for you. The question is even more perplexing when you consider the number of women that are attracted to a bald man. When I was in college, much to the chagrin of my girlfriend (who is now my wife), I can tell you that there was never a shortage of women that were attracted to my bald head.

In an effort to get a pulse on why men had a fear of losing their hair, I turned to a few people on twitter to get their thoughts. It should come as no surprise that the first bit of feedback came from a couple of women that had the following to say:

“Bald guys are sexy! Especially if they are confident. It’s the insecurity that sucks.”

– Michelle from Divine Purpose Unleashed

“I find bald guys to be attractive. It makes them stand out in a crowd, its like I see them first then everyone else.”

– Andrea from According to Andrea

See guys, I told you that women find bald guys attractive.

But what about the guys?

Unfortunately the feedback from guys has been rather minimal. Either that means everyone is too busy to respond, or they don’t care to discuss their thoughts about going bald. One guy that did respond, FrugalDad, had the following to say:

“No fear. If mine starts receding I’m buzzing it close and moving on. A little troubling for men to worry so much over hair.”

– FrugalDad

For whatever reason, men have a fear of going bald. There are a variety of reasons that play into this fear: perception that they are not as manly if their hair is falling out, fear of being viewed as old, or even just the unknown.

“Probably the initial realization that it was starting to happen. Uncertainty about what would happen. Whether I had options.”

– JiMpiSh

Guys, as we often tell our young children, it is important to face your fears head-on. Often times we find that the thing that we feared the most really isn’t all that bad.

What I can tell you is that as I have aged another year, there is a little less hair falling to the floor when I shave my head – and I couldn’t be happier about that!

Embrace your baldness and look around, you might just find a few more women giving you the eye!

On one side, you have people that believe pride in oneself should be avoided as it comes across as being over-confident and bragging. As an extension of this belief, displaying praise for your children is a means of taking responsibility for their success and there should be a better alternative.

Contrary to this belief, there are those that say taking pride in our own accomplishments or those of our children is a healthy thing. It helps children grow into confident, successful adults.

Who is right?

It is hard to say, as I believe there are very valid points from both sides of the coin.

Showering your child with praise will certainly boost their self-esteem and confidence. However, too much praise and your child will become self-centered and arrogant, thinking everything is about them and their accomplishments. Not enough praise and your child may begin to lack the motivation to push themselves to achieve great things.

Speaking of motivation, often times it is best to praise the effort displayed by your child as opposed to the outcome. By telling your child that you are proud of how hard they worked regardless of the outcome, you are teaching them that failure is acceptable. When a child can learn that failure is not something to be feared, they will begin to push themselves and not fall apart in the face of fear.

In recent months, I have had a few experiences that made me proud of my children – or I should say made me proud of how hard they worked for something that they wanted.

Most recently, my youngest son wanted to expand on his experience with hip-hop dancing and audition for the dance company, which is the competitive dance team. When we received word that he made the team, I sat down with him and expressed to him that I was very proud of how hard he worked and the challenge that he took on to make the team before telling him that he had made the team.

A few months back, my oldest son attended the tryouts for the local baseball team that would compete in the PONY National Tournament. With players that were one to two years older than him, he faced his fears and jumped right out there and did his best. When the team was announced and he had not made the roster, I told him that I was extremely proud of the fact that he challenged himself to compete with older boys and did not back down from a difficult situation.

As you can see, I do tell my children when I am proud of them but I am careful not to go too far. Rather than telling them they are the best, I try to tell them that their effort is the best.

If you’re concerned about your child becoming one of those arrogant brats that thinks (and tells everyone within a 50-mile radius) they are the best, focus more on praising them for their level of effort rather than the accomplishments themselves.

What are your thoughts on being proud of your children?

If you had asked me this question last year, my answer would have been a resounding “no”; today I would have to give it serious consideration. With the cost of gasoline continuing to rise, commuting to work is becoming more and more expensive.

With a 65-mile commute to my office, being able to work from home saves me not only time but also a considerable amount of money. However, my current position already has a great deal of flexibility – I am working from home twice this week – so it would be difficult to take a pay cut.

When you really examine the option to work from home, I have a hard time justifying the need to take a pay cut in order to take advantage. The reason for this is because when setup properly, telecommuting can benefit both the employee and the company.

As an employee, the list of benefits include things such as:

• Cost savings – fuel, parking, tolls, wear-and-tear
• Increased productivity
• Reduced stress

Employers stand to benefit as well, including:

• Increased employee satisfaction
• Increased productivity
• Cost savings – office space, supplies, etc.

If telecommuting were a one-sided affair, I could understand the necessity for a pay cut. However, with the assumption that the quality of work does not change by telecommuting, an employer requiring a pay cut for an employee to work from home is simply taking advantage of the situation.

As mentioned earlier, I already have the flexibility to work from home, as well as the luxury of a compressed work week, so my opinions may be slightly jaded. Therefore I am interested to hear what you think about this question.

Assuming that your job lent itself to telecommuting, would you take a pay cut to telecommute?

While interviews with these dads typically focus on their success with their blogs and businesses, these interviews took us to new places with many of these dads. We discussed their thoughts on work life balance, their experiences as a dad, and what they do to unplug.

Take a look at this selection of interviews to learn more:

• Alan Johnson from The Rating Blog
• Bill Pennington from Grumpy Security Guy
• Damien Riley from Postcards From the Funny Farm
• Darren Rowse from Problogger
• Jeremy Schoemaker from Shoemoney
• Leo Babauta from Zen Habits

Who would you like to see interviewed next?

Think about the dads (don’t necessarily have to be bloggers) that you would like to learn more about, including how they approach work life balance and what they do to unplug and relax.

Share your suggestions in the comments below and I will do my best to line up the interviews.

Don’t be shy, shoot for the moon.

Karen Putz | Deaf Mom asks:

Derek: Hmm, I think that is the first time that I have been referred to as a girl – at least since I was in grade school and getting teased on the playground.

Regarding my family’s favorite meal, I have to confess that my wife does most of the cooking but my kids claim that I make the absolutely best macaroni and cheese – I like to make a batch of noodles and then mix in a variety of different cheeses. Very cheesy! Other than that, most of my meals are cooked on the grill.

Not too long ago I cooked up some brown sugar rubbed chicken that went over well, although note the last thing I had to say on that post!

Greg asks:

One of the best ways to get to know someone is to ask them questions. Through the posts on this blog, I have an opportunity to ask all of you questions on a pretty regular basis.

Now I want to open the floor for all of you to ask me questions!

You can ask anything that you like and I will answer to the best of my abilities, or tell you if I don’t know the answer.

Whether you want to ask about my work, my family, the week that I just spent in Las Vegas (I’m boarding the plane as you read this) or whatever, all you have to do is ask. This is something that I have done on my personal blog and the reception was fantastic.

Ready? Ask away!

Next week my wife and kids are packing up the car and heading out to visit family. Unfortunately my work schedule will not allow me to join them so I will have the house to myself.

It has been quite some time since I have been home alone so I want to make the most of this opportunity. Here are a few of the things that crossed my mind:

• Watch a few Steven Segal or Jean-Claude Van Damme movies…in my underwear
• Throw a big, juicy steak on the grill…in my underwear
• Sit and watch sports all night…in my underwear
• Play video games all night…in my underwear
• Invite the buddies over for a poker night…staying fully clothed

While all of that sounds perfectly fine, there isn’t too much on that list that I don’t already do from time to time. If your wife and kids were heading out of town…

What would you do with the house to yourself?

Here is one of the tests that they discussed to determine if you exhibit masculine or feminine traits…look at your fingernails.

Did you extend your hand out with your palms facing down or did you turn your palms up and curl your fingers towards you?

According to some – quite possibly just the kids on the playground at recess – extending your hands out with your palms down to look at your fingernails is a feminine trait, whereas curling your fingers towards you means that you are all man.

Using this test as a barometer, I am masculine.

If you extended your hands with your palms down, here is another trait to examine your masculinity – or lack thereof.

How do you cross your legs?

If you’re sitting with one ankle across your other knee, you’ve got hair on your chest and you are masculine. If your knee is tucked tightly across your other knee, well…you might be more interested in the latest fashion trends rather than the score of the game last night.

Clearly these tests are just a humorous look at being masculine versus feminine, but it is rather interesting to look at and enjoy a little good-natured ribbing with your buddies if they have feminine traits.

While I “passed” these two tests of masculinity, I have to admit that I have received my fair share of teasing about something that people said was only for girls – pierced ears. As I sit here right now, I have three earrings in my ears and some people might say that is feminine. A guy with pierced ears is much more common now than when I first did it many years ago, but at no time did I ever feel feminine for having my ears pierced.

Last night my youngest son got his ears pierced. Some people might think that makes me a bad parent, although I would certainly disagree. Is he feminine now that he has earrings? Does it matter? My son is a free spirit with a long mop of hair that would prefer to rock on his guitar than watch the latest cartoon, although I’m sure the fact that his dad has earrings played a role in the desire to get his ears pierced.

Boys – not that it ever really ends as we get older – are regularly trying to prove their masculinity. When I am rough-housing with my kids, it is quite common for them to boast “I’m a MAN”. When a boy gets teased about being “girly”, more times than not it will result in a fight at the bike rack after school.

In the end, whether you exhibit masculine or feminine traits makes no difference in the person that you are – which is what is really important.

It sucks being sick, there is no doubt about that. But why do women always claim that men are such babies when they are sick?

I’ve been sick for the last few days – I’ll spare you all of the details unless you really want to hear them – and I don’t think I have been acting like a baby at all.

However, last night my wife was talking to a friend on the phone who was asking how everyone was feeling as she knew the flu (or something) had been running through our house. My wife responded that everyone was feeling better except that I still thought that I was on my deathbed.

Where does this perception come from?

Many women believe that the men in their life whine and moan about feeling so terrible when all they have is a simple cold. A few sniffles and a slight fever and a man becomes a quivering lump on the couch that can no longer even wipe his own nose.

Since I have been sick – which has been much more than the sniffles and a slight fever – I haven’t been whining or moaning about anything yet my wife has a different impression.

Where is the disconnect?

When men are sick they tend to lie on the couch or bed and turn into a giant lump that might not move for hours while watching reruns of old cartoons and bad sitcoms – all while groaning, moaning, and whining about being sick.

When women are sick they usually still care for the children, cook dinner, do the laundry, clean the floors, and every other task they perform on a daily basis.

At least this is what my wife tells me is the difference between when she is sick and when I am sick.

Go ahead and search Google for “men act like babies when sick” and you will see page after page of blogs and articles written by women about their boyfriends or husbands. Some feel it is a need that men have to be mothered while others think it is because men don’t have periods – umm, okay.

Now I’d love to go on and tell you all about why men are not babies when they are sick, but I’m getting a chill and have asked my wife to get me a blanket and something to drink before the next episode of Dukes of Hazzard begins.

Photo credit: barterville

According to a story on Yahoo! News, Canada’s national broadcaster (CBC) has filmed a social experiment where all of the women in the town of Hardisty, a small town in the province of Alberta, were sent off to a resort for a week while the men were left to run things.

This might not come as much of a surprise but the expectations were clearly different between the men and the women involved.

“It will be a disaster, a complete disaster,” said Kelly Weatherly, one of the women heading off to the resort.

“Two people to take care of, both under the age of five,” Dustin Miller, one of the fathers involved, said. “How hard can it be?”

What would happen at your house?

There is no doubt that my wife runs our household and keeps everything moving in the right direction.

Without my wife, I would have a dilemma in that my work schedule would have to change or I would have to find someone that would be available to get the kids on the school bus every morning and be there in the afternoon after school.

Our health would likely deteriorate as well, as I hate cooking and would likely resort to take-out food more often than not.

The household finances are currently my responsibility so that would not be a problem, and I am certainly capable of keeping the house clean – although maybe not to the same level of cleanliness that my wife prefers. Clean clothes would not be a problem either as the laundry room is my domain.

Make no mistake, it would certainly be difficult to juggle everything on my own and is something that I would not enjoy but I do believe that we would find a way to manage.

Is this experiment sexist?

Apparently there has been quite a bit of discussion sparked as a result of this experiment, with the local media labeling it as sexist. One viewer of the television program had the following to say, “What a misandric (man hating) idea for show. What is wrong with Canadian society that we need to continuously promote how important women are to society at the expense of men.”

This might come across as sexist simply because the structure of the experiment does not place any value on the current contributions of the men involved, thus implying that the women are more important.

It would have been interesting for the experiment to continue a second week where the men travel to the resort for a week while the women handle everything. Unfortunately this was not done – which could be the reason that some consider this to be sexist.

In every relationship, each partner plays a role and typically handles certain responsibilities. As a result of this experiment, each partner has likely gained a new appreciation for the other and many men may have become a better dad and husband as a result.

What do you think?

During my childhood, I recall the threat of being spanked more than I remember actually receiving a swat. My mom had an 18-inch wooden ruler that she would take out when I was misbehaving and she would say that if my behavior didn’t stop that I would get a whack with the ruler.

In a moment of pure brilliance, I thought that I would hide the ruler on my mom so she wouldn’t be able to use it. The next time she went to retrieve it and saw it missing, I was told that I would get extra smacks if I didn’t turn over the ruler right then and there.

While I remember being spanked a few times, as well as a firm pinch here and there, I think the idea of the punishment was enough to deter me from continuing whatever behavior brought about the idea of a spanking.

From what my wife has told me, her childhood was different in that she vividly remembers being spanked with a wooden spoon – slotted for less air resistance – and receiving spankings with a belt. In her house there were not any warnings about changing her behavior or else, she received the spanking at the first sign of misbehaving.

Often times when people think of spanking a child, they recall stories on the news where a parent is caught on video beating a small child. A few years ago there was a security camera that captured a woman smacking her child multiple times in the parking lot of a large store. In my opinion, that has crossed the line of spanking and can easily be considered child abuse and I am sure all of us would agree that that type of action is unacceptable.

What do you think about spanking your children?

John from Daddee Yah! recently wrote a post about child discipline and tagged me to share my thoughts.

Now that I am a parent myself, I have faced the question of whether spanking a child is an effective means of discipline or if it is more a form of abuse that does not have a place in raising a child.

Before diving into how we have approached spanking in our house, I have to say that I view a spanking as a single swat across the rear-end or back of the leg and I do not consider it to be abuse. When a parent swats a child repeatedly, I believe that is when the line has been crossed from a spanking into abuse.

With that said, I will tell you that my children have been spanked by my wife and me. However, we have come to the realization that spanking is not an effective means of discipline in our house and is not something that we plan to do again. While I don’t think that spanking a child is wrong and should never be done, I do believe there are other means of disciplining our children that are more effective.

As an example, I recently mentioned one father that sold the copy of Guitar Hero III that he bought his son for Christmas after catching his son using drugs. Could he have spanked his son? Probably. Would it have been as effective as not giving his son a coveted video game? Probably not.

In our house, we have used various forms of discipline but I don’t believe we have found the one solution that works all of the time. Our kids have had their fair share of timeouts, weekends without any video games, days without being able to play with a friend, or conversations with mom and dad about why their behavior was unacceptable.

Just the other day I had mentioned to my wife that I want to use more of a positive reinforcement approach with our kids. Rather than trying to take things away from them when they misbehave or sending them to their room, I believe that more encouragement and reinforcement of their good behavior may reduce their bad behavior. However, that doesn’t mean that my kids will have a free ride and never be punished for misbehaving.

As a parent, sometimes I feel that I have lost touch with what it means to be a child and that some of their behavior is just a part of growing up and learning what they can and cannot do. There are certainly boundaries that should not be crossed and when they are the child needs to be disciplined. Each child is different and may require a different form of discipline, which I believe can include spanking, in order for it to be effective.

Spanking, in my opinion, is not so much a question about right or wrong but more about effective or ineffective.

Do you agree or disagree?

The world population is in the ballpark of 6.6 billion people, which means that approximately 132 million people can solve this problem. Since both my friend and I successfully solved the puzzle, I’d be happy to hear from the other 131,999,998 people that know the answer to Einstein’s Logic Puzzle.

Give it a try and send me an email if you think you have the answer. You can also leave your answer in the comments but that might ruin the fun for everyone else that wants to try.

Background
There are 5 houses each with a different color. Their owners, each with a unique heritage, drinks a certain type of beverage, smokes a certain brand of cigarette, and keep a certain variety of pet. None of the owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigarette or drink the same beverage.

Clues

• The Brit lives in the red house.
• The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
• The Dane drinks tea.
• The green house is just to the left of the white house.
• The green house’s owner drinks coffee.
• The person who smokes Pall Malls raises birds.
• The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
• The man living in the center house drinks milk.
• The Norwegian lives in the first house.
• The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
• The man who keeps a horse lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
• The owner who smokes Bluemasters also drinks beer.
• The German smokes Prince.
• The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
• The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water.

Who owns the fish?

While typing my last email, I heard the theme song playing and was instantly reminded of how much I used to love this cartoon. The amazing thing was that I still remembered the lyrics to the song and could not help myself but join in on the fun as the episode kicked off…

Did you watch G.I. Joe as a kid?

I remember watching G.I. Joe quite a bit as a kid and had a box full of the action figures – don’t you dare call them dolls! Many of those action figures are now in the possession of my kids as my mom never threw anything away.

While my son was watching the cartoon, he turned and asked me “Dad, who is your favorite G.I. Joe?”

Without hesitating a second I quickly answered Snake-Eyes.

Snake-Eyes was my favorite because he was like the silent assassin. He didn’t talk – bonus points for anyone that can tell me why Snake-Eyes did not (or could not) talk – and kicked butt with his mastery of various martial arts. As if that were not enough, he also rode a motorcycle and that was the epitome of cool in my adolescent eyes.

My son responded that his favorite characters were Snake-Eyes and Sgt. Slaughter.

I’m obviously in full agreement with Snake-Eyes but not so much on Sgt. Slaughter. Maybe it was because I was a huge fan of WWF wrestling as a kid but I still associate Sgt. Slaughter more with his antics in the squared circle than I do with episodes of G.I. Joe.

Before I head off to watch Iceberg Goes South with my son, I thought I would ask all of you…

Who is your favorite G.I. Joe?

Photo credit: YoJoe.com

Get an office outside the house if you do not have one already. That was really key for me.

Do you agree or disagree?

When trying to decide whether an office inside the home or outside the home is the best place to work, I am not so sure that there is a clear cut answer and it could be a situation where the grass is greener on the other side.

Many people that are not able to work from home likely long for the ability to work from a home office. Likewise, a good number of people that are working from home may desire an office away from all of the distractions often associated with working from home. In my situation, I am able to do a little bit of both and I typically prefer working from home.

However, a few readers seem to feel that Shoemoney is on to something.

30 Day Man mentions, “I have only just worked it out, and getting so much more done away from the homefront.”

TDave said, “I definitely agree with the part about getting an office away from the house…or at least detached from the house. If I am at the house my family just does not consider me at work….and I can’t get the time I need.”

Earlier I mentioned that I typically prefer to work from my home office.

Lately, I have really been enjoying my time at home because my sons are both in school most of the day and my wife is at work as well. The house is quiet all morning and afternoon which provides me with plenty of uninterrupted time to focus on my work. When my kids get home from school, I am there to greet them and take a break to help them with their homework – which is time that I really enjoy.

Another huge benefit for me is that my office is a considerable commute away from home and that is essentially lost time as opposed to walking down the stairs and being at work.

However, when my wife and kids are on vacation or throughout the summer, I find that being able to leave the home and work at an external office to be essential. Overall my family is outstanding about respecting the fact that I cannot be interrupted while working from home. But given the fact that I do not have an office that can be closed off from everyone, it can be difficult when the kids have friends over or they are running in and out of the house while playing.

If my office were closer to home, I think that I would agree that having an office outside of the house would be very attractive. For the time being I am enjoying my hybrid situation where I have the ability to work from home as needed but can also escape to an office outside of the home.

Do you prefer to work from home or at an office outside the home?

I’ve mentioned before that my current position as a software engineer comes with a great deal of flexibility – including my regular 4-day work week as well as the ability to work from home whenever I have the need.

So what is the decision that I see looming in my future?

In the time that I have been at my employer, I have moved up the ranks and am essentially at the top end of the technical career track as it stands today. While there are efforts underway to develop a more robust technical career track, I am facing the decision of moving into management.

Shudder.

When I first started working, I did not think that I would ever be interested in a management position but I am beginning to see some appeal into becoming a group manager – managing a team of technical employees. However, being promoted to a management position would likely have a negative impact on the flexibility that I enjoy today.

While not impossible, it is more difficult to manage a team of people when you are not in the office. Plus, we all know how much management likes to spend time in meetings and the common perception is that you must be physically present at said meetings. Compared to my current position, this lack of flexibility is quite concerning.

If you are faced with this situation, I think you need to ask yourself why do you want the promotion?

There are many reasons one would want a promotion, but generally speaking it boils down to the following key reasons:

• More money. When you receive a promotion, it typically includes an increase in salary. Who doesn’t like more money? As much as I like money, I honestly cannot complain as I earn a respectable wage right now and am not sold that the extra money is worth the potential decrease in flexibility.

• More responsibility. As you move up the ranks within your company, you will be challenged with additional responsibilities and expected to become more of a leader. Not being challenged at your job can make for a very long day, as it can be difficult to maintain a proper level of motivation when you are simply going through the motions.

• Prestige. People like fancy titles. When you mention that you are the Director of Product Development it carries a higher sense of prestige than mentioning that you are a Programmer – at least in some people’s eyes. Personally, I have never been all that interested in the title. My employer can refer to my job however they wish as long as I am compensated fairly.

Out of these three primary reasons to desire a promotion, I am interested in having more (or at least different) responsibilities and certainly won’t turn away an increase in money. The prestige doesn’t really do anything for me and would not be a deciding factor in my decision.

Are these reasons truly worth what I may be sacrificing?

The 4-day work week might be a thing of the past, meaning an extra two to four hours commuting to work each day. While it may still be feasible to work from home on occasion, I might not be able to do so with the same frequency. With different responsibilities, my work may not be suited to working remotely late at night so I can cut out of the office early to make it to my son’s ballgame.

On the surface, being promoted doesn’t sound quite as appealing when you weigh the potential costs involved. For the time being, I have not yet reached this crossroads and am happy with my technical position but this will be a decision that is going to present itself sooner or later.

Have you ever taken a promotion that cost you your flexibility?

Would you do it again?

There are more and more examples that make me really think this is true. Earlier today I was reading a few articles about work life balance over at Yahoo! hotjobs and noticed something interesting.

In the screen shot above from the Yahoo! hotjobs site, I highlighted a few terms that I found interesting. Three of the seven featured articles are intended for working moms.

One of the articles mentions the following,

Working mother may be a redundant term because all moms work hard, whether it’s in the home or out. But mothers with jobs face unique challenges every day. Thankfully, there are many employers who offer a supportive environment to help these women shine, personally and professionally.

This made me think about the term working father.

Have you ever heard of a man with children and a career/job referred to as a working father? I cannot recall a time that I have ever heard this term used.

Why is that?

I believe the reason that men aren’t referred to as working fathers is because American culture believes that a man is expected to work. That isn’t to say that there aren’t expectations for the mother as well but often times the father continues to work while the mother may stay home with the children for a period of time before returning to the work-force. Obviously there are exceptions to this but I think this is the expectation of the American culture.

Think about a scenario when two men meet for the first time.

Often times one of the first questions asked is, “What do you do?”. The status of the man is immediately equated with his profession. It is not uncommon to see a man’s status questioned if they aren’t working at least 50-60 hours per week or if they focus on their family more than their career.

When I read the article about five hot jobs for working mothers, I thought I would do a quick search to see if I could find a similar article about five hot jobs for working fathers.

A quick Google search didn’t provide very encouraging results. As a matter of fact, it was rather alarming to see that four of the top ten results referred to an article about a sex offender. While the other search results were at least related to jobs, none of them seem to deliver a list of hot jobs for working fathers.

You might remember in my very first post here about the quest for dad balance that I mentioned how my local library had numerous books written for the working mother looking to find work life balance yet there was nothing for the working father.

Are men not interested in both their family and their career? I don’t believe that to be true for one second.

What do you think?

Ever since I started my first job out of college I’ve had the desire to own my own business. One of the first questions to answer was whether it was best to open a franchise or start a business from scratch. As a young adult, many of the franchises that I investigated required an extremely high net worth or a much larger capital investment than I was able to handle thus a home-grown business seemed like the best opportunity.

However, as I’ve gotten older, I continue to keep my eyes open for interesting franchise opportunities.

But now that I am in a position where I would qualify for certain franchises, I am left wondering if you can be as successful with a franchise as you can with your own business. Or is it easier to find success with a franchise as opposed to starting your own business from scratch?

Are franchises easier for new entrepreneurs?

When looking to venture into the land of entrepreneurship for the first time, should one look at a franchise opportunity rather than trying to start their own business?

Depending on the nature of the business and your experience a franchise may be a better option as many franchise opportunities provide you with training, establishing a location, equipment, advertising assistance and many other essentials to getting started. Often times a franchise will be more expensive than starting a business from scratch but you do gain the benefit of having a well-known name behind your business.

With a franchisor you will also likely have someone that can support you with any questions that arise and typically you start operation with a complete, proven business model.

Does that mean starting your own business doesn’t make sense? Not necessarily.

While starting your own business means that you do not have a proven business model in place, you do have more freedom to decide how things should be operated. In addition, all of the profits come back to you as the business owner whereas a franchisee is often required to pay a royalty fee and possibly a percentage of the profits back to the franchisor to cover their overhead costs.

Which is the right option?

It will likely depend on what you hope to achieve by entering the arena of entrepreneurship as well as things like your business experience, sales and marketing experience, and financial resources.

To gain a little more insight into the feasibility of a opening a franchise versus starting your own business, it would be great to hear feedback from both franchisees and business owners.

Franchisees

If you have opened a franchise, I would be interested in hearing more about your experience. Some of the questions that immediately come to mind:

• Did you consider starting your own business before deciding on the franchise? Why?
• Are you satisfied with the franchisor?
• Would you open the same franchise again if given the opportunity?
• What would you have done differently?
• Has your franchise lived up to your expectations?

Business Owners

Likewise, I would like to hear from people that decided to start their own business:

• Did you consider opening a franchise before starting your own business? Why?
• Has your business lived up to your expectations?
• Would you open the same business again if you were starting today?
• Did you have any previous experience with owning a business?
• What has been your biggest challenge as a business owner?

Let the discussion begin!

There are many people that have the perception that working from home equates to sitting in front of the television all day while eating junk food. Or goofing around on the computer. Or hitting the golf course for some afternoon fun.

On the days that I work from home, I like to take the kids out to the bus before school and I wait for them at the bus stop after school. During this routine, I’ve encountered my fair share of “oh right, you’re ‘working’ from home” comments and oddly enough it seems that most of the time they come from other dads.

If you’re an employee of a larger company and you work at home, you may hear similar comments from your co-workers as well. In some cases these comments will come from people that are envious of your position or people that have tried to work from home themselves and not been successful.

So what can you do to deal with the misperceptions of working at home?

• Ignore Them. To be quite honest the easiest thing you can do is simply ignore the comments and misperceptions that others have about you working at home, unless of course they are coming from your boss. There is very little to gain by worrying about what other people think about you and your work arrangement.
• Define a Schedule. If you haven’t already, define a work schedule and stick to it. People in the office will know when they can expect to reach you. Family and friends will know when your time is off-limits and you cannot be interrupted. With clearly defined expectations, you’ll avoid confusion over when you are available.
• Over Deliver. Working from home is not a ticket to easy street. It is quite common for the at-home worker to put in more hours than their office co-workers and you can offset any misperceptions by producing high quality deliverables that are on-schedule.

When you work from home you will avoid quite a few issues associated with working in an office, such as the commute, but you will also have new issues to manage.

As a work-at-home dad, you need to ensure that you have the ability to avoid the distractions of a relaxed atmosphere while also balancing the desire to work too many hours in an effort to prove yourself. If your neighbors see you outside all afternoon or your co-workers cannot get in touch with you during the day, you will only be enforcing their misperceptions about your work at home arrangement.

What misperceptions have you had to deal with and how did you do it?

The other day I had posted on my personal site about whether you are willing to sacrifice to reach your goals. The same holds true with regard to making more time for your family as it will require sacrifice on your part.

According to a recent CareerBuilder.com survey, dads want more family time.

The results of the survey indicated that 37 percent of working dads say they’d leave their jobs if their spouse or partner made enough money to support the family while 38 percent would take a pay cut to spend more time with their kids. In addition, 24 percent of working dads believed that their work was negatively impacting their relationship with their kids while 48 percent have missed a significant event in their child’s life due to work in the last year.

So I ask you the question, what will you do for more family time?

It is rather easy to answer a survey that you would take a pay cut to spend more time with your family but it is another thing entirely to actually do it. In my current situation, I am not happy about the amount of time that I have been spending on my commute to and from work. Due to construction on the highways, my commute has been averaging about two hours each way and this is having an impact on the time that I am able to spend with my family.

So what am I going to do?

For starters I have a meeting scheduled with my boss to discuss a more permanent arrangement to work from home. Currently I have the flexibility that I am able to work from home as needed but there is the expectation that I would still be in the office on a regular basis.

If my meeting doesn’t go well with regard to working from home, am I willing to change jobs in order to reduce my commute and spend more time with my family? To be honest with you, I am not sure that I am and will have to cross that bridge if it comes. In the past, I have been reluctant to change and tend to be a creature of habit that enjoys the comfort of the known.

If you are not comfortable making a drastic change to have more family time, consider the following tips from the survey to help gain a better balance between your life and your career:

• Give your undivided attention. I’ll admit that this one is hard for me as it is so easy to check email or make a quick phone call. Unfortunately, as many of you likely know, checking email has a funny way of consuming more time than you planned.
• Keep one calendar. I’ve commented about this in the past but scheduling your personal life on your work calendar is a great way to ensure you don’t miss those special moments in your child’s life. One thing I also do is schedule a vacation day on their birthday as I want to be there with them and let them know their day is truly special to me.
• Make time. It is important to schedule time with your family, including time for just you and your wife. In our family we have been doing our best to schedule a nightly walk to get a little exercise together and share some time away from everything.

These might sound like easy things to do or you might be scratching your head saying that there is no way that you can do this with your current work schedule. As you struggle to find more time with your family, you are bound to make mistakes and that is to be expected. However, many dads make the mistakes on the life side of work-life balance but we cannot lose sight of the fact that mistakes on the life side can be just as damaging, if not more so, as mistakes regarding work.

So I’ll ask you again, what will you do for more family time?

The definition of work-life balance is going to be different from person to person. Looking at your own situation, don’t be surprised if you find that your own definition of work-life balance is different from month to month, or maybe even day to day, depending on the influences in your life.

Something Work-Life Balance is NOT

One thing to keep in mind is that the idea of work-life balance is not a perfect science. There really isn’t a perfect solution that you can apply to your life one time and expect everything to stay balanced and happy every day.

As much as we would all like to have a “one-size-fits-all” remedy for balancing the needs of our career and our family, that just isn’t feasible. Obtaining work-life balance requires you to have a diverse set of information, tools and resources that you can leverage according to your needs at the time.

The “magic pill” for achieving work-life balance is being able to recognize when your life is out of balance and being able to make adjustments as necessary.

When you find that you’re spending too much time on work, you will know that you need to devote a little more time to your family. The opposite will also be true as it is possible to focus too much on your family to the point where your career may suffer. You will not have balance between work and life every day but you will know when one area needs more attention.

To reference one of my favorite cartoons as a child, knowing is half the battle!

What Does Work-Life Balance Mean To You?

Because I want this site to be a resource for you to find information and resources that will help you achieve work-life balance, I’d like you to ask for your assistance.

Take a moment and consider the following:

• What does work-life balance mean to you?
• What questions do you have about work-life balance?
• What have you done to achieve your own work-life balance?

Please share your thoughts in the comments below. I’m very interested to gain an insight into your experience with regard to work-life balance and what questions you may be looking to have answered.