To put things in a little perspective, I thought that I would share the following with all of you to remind each of you to give a little extra appreciation to your wife for all of her hard work. For those that have seen this already, I apologize but I felt it was worthwhile enough to see again.

Anita Renfroe wrote a light-hearted song describing everything that a mom says in a 24-hour period, set to the “William Tell Overture”. While the original version (or what I believe to be the original version) is quite entertaining, I think the version below is phenomenal.

Patti Harshey, from Northland Church in Florida, recently sang her version of “The Mom Song” and was accompanied by Tim Tracey and Susan Eissele.

The Mom Song from Northland Video on Vimeo.

When you get home tonight, be sure to let your wife know that you appreciate everything that she does on a daily basis. It might not be a bad idea to pick up the phone and just say thanks to your mom as well.

Making dinner can be easy, fun, and impressive. I’ll share one of my favorite recipes that even the most kitchen inept can’t mess up, then I’ll follow that up with how to set up the evening. A big part of impressing the wife is not only putting food on the table, but doing it in a way that sets the right mood. Let me know how it goes!

In addition to the recipe below, you’ll need the following things:

• cloth napkins
• non-scented candles
• matches

Black Bean, Avocado & Salsa Dip

• 1 Can of Black Beans (make sure the ingredients only say beans, water, salt)
• 1 Large Avocado (buy organic, or barring that, find one that is deep purple in color & tender to the touch)
• 1 8 oz container of Pico De Gallo or other fresh salsa
• 2 Limes
• 1 Tablespoon Cumin (more or less to taste)
• 2 – 3 cloves fresh garlic
• 1 Large bag of tortilla chips

Heat the beans in a medium saucepan over medium heat. While the beans are heating, mince the garlic and add that to the beans with the cumin. Once the beans are bubbling, reduce heat to warm.

Cut the avocado out of the shell. The easiest way to do that is by following the steps in this video:

Now that you’re done laughing at the word testicle, let’s move on.

Cut the limes in half and squeeze the juice into the bowl that you have placed the avocado in. Add the Pico de Gallo, and with the back of a fork, mix the pico and the avocado pieces, smashing the avocado. This gives you a nice, chunky guacamole dip.

Remove the beans from the burner and pour into a medium sized serving bowl. With a potato masher or the back of a fork, smash the beans into a chunky paste.

Set the table with chairs placed close to each other, within easy reach of where you’ll place the food. Put a plate at each chair, along with a cloth napkin. Place the bean dip and guacamole on the table in their respective bowls, and pour a whole bunch of chips into a large bowl next to the dip. Put small serving spoons in each bowl of dip.

Next, place your candle holders and candles on the table, just at the edge of the food. Light the candles and you’ve got a candle-light dinner for two – that was easy!

Bonus points:

• Finish the food in time to clean up everything but the serving dishes.

• Have chocolates & your favorite relaxing beverage chilled and ready in the bedroom along with another set of candles.

Up until a couple of days ago, I had not.

Sure, there had been issues with friends in the past but nothing that was quite like what unfolded recently.

To set the stage, I will remind you that my youngest son could be labeled as being a bit unique – he moves to the beat of his own drum. He is not one to follow what other people do, preferring to set his own path. He has his own unique style. While he loves to play sports and run around with his friends, he has a passion for dancing. He has long, skater hair and pierced ears.

At a recent dance practice, my son was informed that he would be a focal point of the group dance as he would start the dance on stage by himself, lip-syncing the words to the song G-Slide by Lil Mama. Then all of the girls would come out on stage and join the dance.

On the way home from practice, he had the following conversation with my wife.

YS: The kids will make fun of me for my part in the dance.

Wife: What kids?

YS: All the kids at school.

Wife: Why will they make fun of you?

YS: I like to talk about my dance but everyone makes fun of me for dancing.

Wife: Do you want to quit dancing?

YS: No, dancing is my favorite thing to do. I love it.

Wife: Good, should we worry about what other people think?

YS: No, but they make fun of me for my long hair and earrings too.

Wife: Do you want to cut your hair or take out your earrings?

YS: No.

Wife: You have your own style and I love that about you. Lets not worry about what other people think about and focus on the things that we enjoy.

YS: I know, I am going to sit down with my friends and tell them I love to dance and to talk about it and please don’t make fun of me.

Wife: That sounds like a great idea.

YS: Mom, if I become famous and am on TV, does that make Scott famous too cause he’s my friend?

Wife: Sure, I guess.

Here was a situation where my son was faced with a dilemma – he has an activity that he loves more than anything, but his friends make fun of him about it. While he doesn’t want to stop dancing, he wasn’t sure what to do about the situation with his friends. He wants to talk about it without being teased about being a girl since he dances.

To be honest, I’ve seen a few raised eyebrows myself when I explain to adults that my son is extremely interested in dancing. One woman asked me how I felt about my son dancing, as I come across as a sports-minded, man’s man kind of guy and she thought I would not accept him dancing. She was surprised when I told her how much I love that he is dancing and how I encourage him to follow his passions regardless of what other people think.

That is the lesson here.

When you find something that you truly love doing, don’t allow the opinions of others to deter you from pursuing that passion. The easy thing for my son to do would be to quit dancing and play baseball or football like all of his friends. While he enjoys playing those sports casually, he would rather focus his time on dancing and will be competing for the first time this year.

As a parent, we need to encourage our children to follow their dreams as well, even if we might not fully understand it at the time. When my son first expressed an interest in dancing, I’ll admit that I had questions about it but I kept them quiet. When I saw how much he loves to dance, I knew that I would be right there with him offering my encouragement every step of the way.

Encourage your children. Support your children. Love your children.

They weren’t.

Those were tears of joy.

Joy that the parents will reclaim their quiet house for at least a few hours each day. Joy that the house can be cleaned without a couple of little monsters trailing right behind making a new mess. Joy that one can eat lunch without having to dodge a flying chicken nugget.

That’s right…today is the first day of school in our town and I swear that I saw a few parents dancing down the street as the bus pulled away.

For the last few years, we have had an annual tradition in our neighborhood where we host a breakfast for all of the kids on the first day of school. At 7:30am this morning, I was outside setting up the table and chairs for the big celebration. Oddly enough, most of the kids seemed just as ready to be going back to school as the parents were to have them out of the house.

There were bagels and donuts. Strawberries, grapes, and watermelon. Chocolate milk and orange juice. Sausage and pancakes, with more than one half-eaten sausage link placed back into the dish by one of the kids (yum…but I’ll pass, thanks).

The clock was ticking down and the bus would be arriving shortly. The kids were getting anxious and running around as more than a few parents cringed with the thought of the brand new gym shoes being destroyed before the first day of school had even started.

Then we saw it…the school bus was approaching.

All of the kids grabbed their back packs that were stuffed to the seams with school supplies and lunch bags. Gone are the days of the hug and kiss good-bye, as the kids are all a year older now and way too cool for that. Instead we received the nonchalant head bob indicating that all was good.

As the bus pulled away, all of the parents waved and then turned to one another with a big smile on their face. The other dad that was able to make the voyage with me this year had to head off to work. Thanks to my flexible schedule, I have the day off today and eased back into my chair with all of the moms as we talked about the upcoming school year.

After about an hour of conversation and more nibbling on the goodies, we all went off to start our day. As I began to take down the table and chairs, one of the moms suggested that I leave it all out so we can reconvene for a margarita this afternoon before the bus brings all of the kids home.

Not a bad idea at all, but first I need to go wipe away this tear in my eye.

“You always get to pick the game, it’s my turn!”

“You always get to pick the TV show, I don’t want to watch this.”

“You always get to pick the music, I want to listen to my CD.”

When it comes to siblings, there is no telling what kind of silly things they will find to argue about – who picks the movie to go see, who gets the mail from the mailbox, who turns off the TV (yes, my kids have argued about this before), and who decides whether we go on a bike ride or play football.

As a parent, we try to mediate as many of these arguments as possible. The difficult part as a parent is settling the argument without favoring one child over another.

Earlier today I was reading through some information at All Pro Dad and came across an article that was discussing a Kid of the Week plan to avoid sibling arguments.

The general idea behind the Kid of the Week plan is that each child is assigned the status as the special “kid of the week” on a rotating basis. Whenever a situation comes up during the week, the current kid of the week gets the first selection.

Whenever mom or dad attempts to settle an argument, there is a good chance that at least one child will feel the decision is unfair. With a plan like the Kid of the Week, the children will have a means of settling their own arguments in a fair way that is easy to understand.

In our house, two of the biggest arguments are centered around video games and the television. Since we have somewhat strict rules about how much television our kids can watch and how long they can play video games, they each want to maximize their time watching their favorite shows or playing their favorite games. Using a plan like the Kid of the Week could be a perfect solution to these arguments.

How do your children settle their arguments?

That is what has prompted me to write this post today – as earlier this morning my Grandma passed away after recently celebrating her 90th birthday. After receiving the phone call this morning and spending some time talking to my wife, we had to sit down and tell our kids that Great Grandma had died.

As a matter of fact, that was the first question I asked my wife: “Do we tell them that she passed away or that she died?”

We opted to say that she died.

One of the mistakes that we often make when talking to our children about death and dying is that we try to sugarcoat things to protect them. When talking to kids about death, try not to use words that will confuse them as that can cause even more difficulty.

Consider the following – your child asks, “What is death like?”

You respond, “Death is like going to sleep. Grandma is sleeping.”

When your child associates death with sleeping, don’t be surprised if your child has a very difficult time going to sleep for quite awhile. The fear in their mind is that they will go to sleep and never wake up again.

Last year we had a difficult time as we were mourning the loss of my Opa and our son became ill with an unknown virus that resulted in him spending a rather scary week in the hospital. At the same time, there was another death of someone we knew. As you can imagine, our son became very concerned that he was going to die in the hospital and had a very difficult time sleeping.

While you are being careful to use appropriate words and be as direct as possible, you should also prepare yourself for some very bizarre questions.

“Will the worms crawl all over Grandma in the ground?”

“How will Grandpa go to the bathroom?”

There are a lot of questions racing through a child’s mind when they encounter death, some of which will likely seem inappropriate. It is important to allow your children to express themselves and know that asking their questions will not get them in trouble. As mentioned earlier, be aware of how you answer their questions and be as direct as possible.

Along with the discussions about death and dying, you will be faced with the question of whether your children should attend the wake and/or funeral services.

In my opinion, yes they should – as long as you prepare them ahead of time for what they will (and maybe more importantly will not) see. If the services are open casket, explain to them what the casket will look like and that they will be able to see the person that has died. Also be sure to tell them that the person will not be able to sit up, move, or breathe.

Attending the wake and funeral can offer closure for the child and help them understand that they will not see the person again. However, it is probably best not to force your children to participate. If they don’t feel comfortable going up to see the body, allow them their space and provide them any comfort that they need.

Death is a part of life that children will be exposed to often at an early age. As a parent, we can help that process tremendously by being honest and as straightforward as possible in order to reduce the potential confusion and fear in our child’s mind.

Have you talked about death with your kids?

What has or hasn’t worked for you?

While we will still be hosting the party and it will be the same good time with plenty of food and drinks; there will be more kids in attendance.

During the inaugural party eight years ago, we had a few neighbors with kids but none of our friends had any children. Fast forward to today and the couples with children far outweigh those without.

When it is all said and done, there will be anywhere from 17-22 kids in attendance this year with the general age range between 5 years old and 9 years old.

The household dispute is centered around activities for the kids to enjoy.

We own one of those moonwalk bouncy contraptions and set that up every year. In addition, we usually fill up 200-300 water balloons for the obligatory water balloon fight and feature back yard games such as cornhole (bean bag toss for the uninitiated), ladder golf, and bocce ball.

Beyond these “organized” games, the kids typically run around the yard playing in the fort or the sandbox entertaining themselves.

This year my wife does not feel that the above is sufficient.

I do.

She wants to nix the water balloons, as it bordered on violent last year, and instead opt to rent an additional combo moonwalk and slide inflatable thing-a-ma-job.

I don’t.

The inflatable rectangle of joy that we currently own measures 8′ by 6′ when measuring the interior bouncing area. With more kids nearing the upper range of the 5-9 age bracket, it really isn’t big enough for a lot of them – but the smaller kids can still enjoy it.

The thought is that we can rent a moonwalk that is 15′ by 15′ for the entire day and the bigger kids can bounce their heart out in that while the smaller kids enjoy the bouncy that we own.

At a cost of $250 for the entire day, I think that is an expensive option given that most of the older kids will probably bounce in it for 15-20 minutes and be done. As an example, we just set up our smaller bouncy for our two kids and they were in it for about 10 minutes when a friend called and asked to play. They quickly ditched the bouncy for the time playing with their friends.

When my wife asks me what the kids will do if we don’t have a larger bouncy (or some alternative like a huge inflatable water slide), my response is that they can have a cornhole tournament or we can play some games like dodgeball, tag, or whatever.

Her response to that is those are everyday activities – the 4th of July party should be special.

I agree – but it doesn’t have to be $250 special in my opinion.

As we continue to discuss our options, my wife suggested that I turn to the community and see what everyone thinks about our household dispute.

Should we rent an additional moonwalk bouncy for the older kids?

Are there other activities that would be better?

Speak your mind!

My kids are fans of just about everything broadcast on the Disney Channel, which means that I regularly see Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter, Miley, on the show Hannah Montana. They seem to have a good working relationship on the show and since I don’t keep tabs on celebrity news very often, I wondered why his fathering skills were being questioned.

Apparently, 15-year-old Miley Cyrus recently had a provocative photo shoot for the June issue of Vanity Fair that included a photo of a topless Miley wrapped in a sheet.

The criticism coming down on Billy Ray is not only about why he was not monitoring the photo shoot of his daughter; but also about a photo that he had taken with Miley that some feel looks inappropriate for a father and daughter.

Should Billy Ray have been monitoring the photo shoot?

In a perfect world, he would have been there during the entire photo shoot. However, being a celebrity himself with a previous commitment, he was not able to personally attend the entire shoot but there were people there whom he felt had Miley’s best interests in mind and had the situation in control.

As a parent, sometimes that is the best we can do.

The article at Yahoo! contains a poll, which at last count indicated the following sentiments about the photo shoot:

• 48% thought he should have been chaperoning the photo shoot
• 24% thought the publicist should have been monitoring more closely
• 30% thought there was nothing wrong with the photo shoot

During an interview on the Today show, Billy Ray was asked about whether he had words with Vanity Fair after the fact regarding the racy photo of his daughter. He responded with an interesting lesson he learned from his father:

The more you stomp in poop, the more it stinks.

He recognized the situation for what it was and said that they just needed to accept that this happened and deal with it.

That doesn’t sound like a terrible father to me.

When asked about the photo that he had taken with his daughter, which many felt looked more like a boyfriend and girlfriend rather than a father and daughter, his response was that he did not feel it was a mistake and was simply a daddy that loves his daughter a whole lot.

Looking at this photo, I can see how some would say it teeters on the edge of creepiness but you can also see the close bond between a father and a daughter who just happens to be growing up into an attractive woman.

Again, I don’t think this makes Billy Ray Cyrus a bad dad.

Do you agree or disagree?

Damien Riley, author, teacher and dad, keeps an eye on popculture, the news, and humor all around us. His blog, Postcards from the FunnyFarm, covers topics including teaching, inspiration, humor, and psychology.

Damien’s mission statement for his writing has been “to publish creative and innovative content” since December of 2006. He is married to Sarah, also a teacher and blogger. Together they have 3 children.

It’s been a long time since the 70’s and we don’t hear much about women’s lib anymore. My wife called me over to look at an ad of an attractive, bikini clad woman the other day and she was covering her face.

After I agreed it was indeed a beautiful woman, the face clearly revealed it was “a man baby” (in the voice of Austin Powers).

The roles of men and women are blurred and for that matter, so are the genders. We men carry around confusion and anxiety about who we are and more importantly, who we’re supposed to be. I wanted to look at the role of men in society for this post so I sat down and outlined three traditional stereotypes to compare and contrast with 2008:

1. Tough, like Clint Eastwood: No, we’re not expected to be tough anymore. In fact, we are often criticized for being too hard and cold. In the media, men are portrayed more and more as the “touchy feely” type.

Have you seen the ads for the new Patrick Dempsey movie where he is the maid of honor in a wedding? How do we find a middle ground between Eastwood and, in this case, Dempsey?

This is something we struggle with as men these days.

2. Provider, like Bill Cosby: No, many women are the breadwinners in the home these days. This is partly true because of the woman’s movement and the doors it opened to women in the 70’s and also due to recession.

Several men I know have lost their jobs and their wives are filling the gap until something opens up. This is socially acceptable. Men may find this hard to live with though since we are so used to our traditional role as the providers.

3. Wise, like Father Knows Best: Men are seen nowadays as more work-horses than pillars of wisdom. In some ways, this is better.

Men really aren’t all that wise and there is much men are ignorant about. But we do have a lot to offer. Most people will agree after the book “Men are from Mars, Women from Venus” that men and women have something totally unique to bring to the table.

We have learned that the know-it-all dad’s days are over but we should always remember we do have something valuable to offer the world as men.

I won’t get into the issue of gay men roles vs. straight because being straight, the only way I could really analyze it would be through the media. I think its prominence in the media clearly makes the male image more blurry.

After presenting these three stereotypes, I’d like to pose one question I hope you’ll answer for me:

What the heck are men supposed to be in 2008?

Guys, be sure to take the time to tell your wife, your Mom, your sister, and any other Moms that you know how much they are appreciated and how much they mean to you.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought that I would share a little booklet that our youngest son made for his Mom:

My mother looks prettiest when… she goes somewhere fancy with my dad or all the time.

My mother likes it when… I go to sleep. (we got a good laugh from this one)

If I could give my mother something special, it would be… a huge HD flat screen TV and a theater. (I did not tell him to write that, honest)

My favorite thing about my mother is… she loves me.

The funniest thing I can remember about my mother… is when she tickles me and I fall off the couch.

My mother loves me when… I do my chores.

Mother, thank you for… taking care of me.

Take a moment to think through these thoughts and how you would answer them when thinking about your own Mom. It might be fun to write down your answers and share them with your Mom, as you are never too old to tell your Mom how much she means to you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

As the date came closer and closer, I have to admit that I began to feel anxious about the experience and questioned why I had signed up.

It wasn’t because I doubted the value of the conference.

It wasn’t even because I was going to miss one of my son’s Little League games, which ended up being rained out anyways.

It was because I am extremely shy.

Typically, when I am in an environment of people that I do not know, I am perfectly comfortable standing off to the side observing everyone. But as our own Wendy Piersall mentioned during her presentation, you need to step out of your comfort zone.

While that isn’t always pretty, it is critical to your growth as a person.

Fortunately, I didn’t back out of attending SOBCon08 as it gave me an opportunity to learn from some of the most talented people; which includes both the speakers and the other attendees.

As much as I would like to say that I was a social butterfly during the event, I wasn’t. It was difficult for me to approach people and introduce myself, but I did push myself beyond my normal comfort zone and as a result I met quite a few outstanding people.

Here are some of the fine people I had the pleasure to meet:

• Wendy Piersall :: Believe it or not, this was the first time that Wendy and I met in person but it felt like we were old friends. Wendy helped shove nudge me out of my comfort zone from time to time as she introduced me to people, but I love her for it as I might not have done it myself.

• Chris Garrett :: Chris was one of the first people Wendy introduced me to and I am glad she did. Chris is such a down-to-earth guy and his presentation absolutely rocked. While Chris had admitted to being somewhat introverted as well, I never would have guessed it.

• Stephen Hopson :: A few days before the event, Stephen and I chatted via email and I was really looking forward to meeting him. From the first handshake, I was impressed by Stephen’s excitement and attitude.

• Lorelle VanFossen :: From being put on the spot to share my most profound moment to sharing ten words to describe what I do, Lorelle has an amazing energy about her that can inspire anyone. While we didn’t get a ton of time to talk, I cherished the conversation that we did share.

• Easton Ellsworth :: Easton was someone that I had conversed with prior to the conference, as he had shared 12 blogging tips to improve my blog with me last year. While we only chatted briefly and sat together over lunch, Easton came across as a very intelligent and thoughtful person that I would be honored to know better.

• Debra Moorhead :: Little did I know what was in store for me when Debra sat down next to me for the Mastermind groups. Debra is a very talented and inspirational woman, as well as a successful author, who shared so many great suggestions with me. Thank you Debra and I hope to talk more with you about a few things.

• Jeff Sable :: Jeff is from Chitika and is really a great guy. We shared a nice conversation on the boat cruise and I was also fortunate to have Jeff in my Mastermind group, as he really gave me a few fresh ways to look at my approach to blogging.

• Dawud Miracle :: It was a true pleasure to meet Dawud. Not only is he a brilliant person, but he can tell a story like nobody else and had me laughing all night long. Dawud is one of those people that if you knew the things that he forgot, you would still be on the road to success.

• Sara :: Sara and I had also shared a few emails before the event, as she was the winner of a contest on my personal blog. During the FuelMyBlog meet-up, Sara made an effort to get me out of my comfort zone as well and I appreciate her for that.

• Paul O’Flaherty :: Paul is a great guy with a sense of humor that I can really appreciate. We had the opportunity to share a few laughs (and drinks) throughout the weekend, although I never had the chance to hook up for the interview on Saturday.

• Vicky H. :: From the opening night festivities to drinks on the eve of the conclusion, Vicky and I shared quite a few interesting conversations. Vicky, I’m looking forward to the first post (and many more) on your blog and don’t hesitate to ask questions about anything.

• AmyL :: Amy and I only had one chance to sit and chat, but let me tell you that I was captivated. As a father to two boys, I can only imagine how much work she has to do with four boys! It was very interesting to talk about the impact that the economy is having near Amy’s hometown and my heart really went out to the people facing difficult times.

• Karen Hanrahan :: Karen has been a commentator here on The Man Page and it was such a pleasure to sit and chat with her. We talked about so many different things and in an odd moment of irony, Karen’s daughter is strongly considering attending my alma mater.

• Michael Martine :: After viewing Michael’s video from the airport on his way to SOBCon, we had a chance to chat briefly about capturing video and I hope to interview Michael in the near future for his take on work life balance.

• Stephen Smith :: Stephen has an amazing enthusiasm about what he does and it was a pleasure to share a few great conversations. It was so rewarding to share a small piece of knowledge with Stephen that he ran with and used to create a new site. Stephen, I look forward to our paths crossing again!

• Kristen King :: I had a chance to meet Kristen while looking for dinner plans on Saturday night, as she was down in the restaurant of the hotel I was staying in. Kristen made me think of this site as she seems like a real spark plug of energy and knowledge and I look forward to reading more of her writing.

• Christine Kane :: Christine wowed the entire crowd by performing on the boat cruise, while also laying down one of the best lines during the entire conference. Over lunch on Saturday, I had the pleasure to sit with Christine and it is great to see how she is approaching her blog and her career.

• Lisa Cree :: Lisa is one of the funniest people that I have met in quite some time. Her laugh was simply intoxicating and it was such a reward to share lunch with her.

• Mary-Lynn Foster and George Krueger :: While we only shared a few conversations, I have to say that both Mary-Lynn and George have a real passion for their business. They’re not too far from my home base so I am hoping that we will have a chance to meet again and share more with one another.

• Joseph Hauckes :: Joe is a great guy that has experienced quite a few different things and is happy to share what he knows with others. Joe, the next time you are in Chicago, make sure that you stay outside of the yellow line!

• Valerie Combs and Sandra Ponce de Leon :: Valerie and Sandra from BuzzLogic were both great to meet. We had a chance to chat about working for a startup company and I had to ask them why someone in San Francisco even owns a winter coat. Best to both of you and hopefully we can talk more in the future.

As you can see from the list above, stepping outside of your comfort zone gives you the opportunity to meet people that can literally change your life for the better.

The entire cast and crew at SOBCon08 were truly amazing and made me feel very welcome. While there were people that I would have liked to talk to but didn’t get make the time, there is always next year!

Thank you to everyone at SOBCon08 for making this an unforgettable experience!

He also writes on his blog, deguia.net about current events, life in Sonoma County and the West Memphis Three.

As a parent, often times it’s hard to remember that your childhood was vastly different than your own child’s childhood. This was something that was driven home, abruptly, this past week for me.

For ages now I’ve been trying to teach my 7-year-old daughter how to ride a two-wheeler bike. Every time I try to start the process, it inevitably gets interrupted by common colds, broken bones, bad weather, or life in general getting in the way.

The latest reason: She has outgrown her bike.

After each unsuccessful attempt, without fail, I am left feeling guilty and ashamed as though I’m a bad father for not having it done by now. This is especially true when I remember that I was riding on two wheels around the neighborhood, making jumps off of the dirt ramp at the end of our street, when I was younger than my own daughter.

I’ve spent time thinking back on my own childhood, to see what was different than the childhood I’m observing now. The reasons are numerous and vary in complexity.

Here is one example…

When I was younger, my parents both worked full-time jobs. Starting in second grade, I was responsible for getting myself ready for school in the morning. My dad would leave for work shortly after waking me up and I was the one to dress myself, brush my hair and teeth, get my own cereal, gather the things I needed for the school day ahead, and so forth. After school let out, I would walk home, let myself into the house on days when my mom was not yet home from work, and begin playing or doing home work.

With my own children, their childhood is drastically different.

Chief among those reasons is that we are a one car family. As such, a daily strategy meeting is held to figure out how we will accomplish all of the tasks and errands that need to be done.

Sometimes that requires the kids to ride along with us and spend more time in the car than at home playing in the backyard. I work full time 14 miles away from home. With traffic, it can easily take 45 minutes to drive home. On school nights that leaves little time for playing.

While we have more family time together than I had growing up, they have fewer hours to play each day.

Does that mean that I’m doing a bad job as a dad?

I don’t think so.

I think it’s important to remember that using your own childhood as a guideline for determining your value and success as a parent, rarely works out for the best.

Parenting is something that should be based on actions born of the heart and honesty in the present, rather than on fragments of your memory from decades past.

Unfortunately, even though we know this, we still struggle to buy a gift for the woman that we love. Over the years that my wife and I have been married, I’ve made just about every gift buying mistake that you can think of.

Lingerie (to which she asked if I thought it was my birthday)…guilty.

Truffles when she was dieting (ouch, the ensuing guilt trip may scar you for years)…guilty.

Clothing of the wrong size (ouch, don’t do this one either – and don’t trust the labels inside their current clothes as there are no guarantees that is still her size, trust me)…guilty.

I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

With today being my wife’s birthday, I have recently gone through the process of buying her a gift and thought that I would share with you the lessons that I have learned on how to buy the perfect gift.

In all honesty, you’re going to kick yourself when you realize how easy it really is to buy the perfect gift.

Prepare yourself.

Are you ready for the Unofficial Guide to Buying Your Wife a Gift?

Step #1 :: Listen To Her

Did the lights just dim?

I know that is an Earth shattering revelation but I guarantee you that a few weeks to a few months before the special occasion, your wife will be dropping you hints left and right in casual conversation. Unfortunately, we are usually trying to listen to SportsCenter while trying to make it look like we are listening to every last word.

More often than not, we miss these hidden suggestions and end up buying a gift that we think she wants. Only on the rarest of occasions did your wife actually mention that she has been wanting to purchase a new vacuum – and even if she did that doesn’t mean she wants it for her birthday.

Traditional advice is to never buy your wife a tool or appliance for her birthday. If it is associated with her doing more work, it is probably not the best gift.

However, a few years back I purchased one of those fancy, colorful, do-everything kitchen blender mixer magic maker things as a Christmas gift and it went over very well.

Yes, I know that I just said that tools and appliances don’t make great gifts but the reason that this gift went over well is because I followed the second step of the Unofficial Guide to Buying Your Wife a Gift.

Step #2 :: Ask Her

Again, such a simple thing to do yet we often overlook in the desire to purchase the perfect gift.

While some might say it lacks romance or creativity, I would ask them how romantic or creative it is to see your wife in the customer service department returning the gift that you thought she would love as much as you did.

I don’t know about you but when it is my birthday, I truly enjoy getting something that I want and I don’t enjoy it any less if I had to tell someone that I wanted it.

By asking your wife what she would like for the special occasion, you will avoid the risk of misunderstanding the hints she had been trying to give you for the weeks preceding the special day and save yourself from the panic of rushing around the mall on the night before as you rack your brain trying to remember anything that she said to you.

When you ask your wife what she truly wants for the second time, as the first answer will likely be that she doesn’t want anything (yeah, don’t do this one either…guilty), you will ensure that you buy a gift that she does in fact want.

George Foreman Guarantee

Following the two steps of the Unofficial Guide to Buying Your Wife a Gift comes with the guarantee that you will purchase a gift that makes your wife happy.

If she isn’t happy with the gift, then you did something wrong.

In recent years I have followed these two steps with fantastic results, whether it be the time the two of us escaped for a long weekend in Boston and Salem or more recently when the long-awaited little blue box from Tiffany & Co arrived under the Christmas tree.

The next time you need to buy your wife a gift, refer back to this guide and let me know how it goes.

Now, it is just about time for my wife to open her birthday gifts – if you don’t hear back from me, ignore this Unofficial Guide to Buying Your Wife a Gift and buy her that lingerie!

Last night I was reading a post over at Discovering Dad in which Jeremy was tackling the question on whether it is more important to be a good dad or a good husband.

In the post, Jeremy menioned: I am an individual first; husband second; dad third; and, everything else falls later on the list.

This got me to thinking that one can really apply the concepts of the snowball method into being a good husband and a good dad.

When discussing the snowball method in terms of debt, one tackles the highest interest rate first and once that debt is eliminated the payment is rolled into the payment for the next debt. Conceptually, your debt payment is like a snowball and continues to grow larger and larger as you roll down the hill.

The same principles apply to being a good husband and father.

Instead of interest rates and debt payments, we have personal characteristics and relationships.

By making an effort to be an upstanding man, including characteristics such as being honest, respectful, loyal, hard working – you are laying the foundation to becoming a good husband.

As a good husband, you will demonstrate that you also understand the importance of being caring, compassionate, dependable, humble, and many more. Your children will witness these characteristics on a regular basis and will learn from your example – thus laying the foundation to becoming a good father as well.

While this might make it sound like being a good husband or good father is easy – hardly, it requires a lot of hard work – I can tell you that starting off as an undesirable man is going to make it all that much more difficult to be the husband or father that you want to be.

When you find yourself facing the question that Jeremy has been asked about whether it is more important to be a good dad or a good husband, remember that it all starts with being a good man and snowballs from there.

However, after reading a post from Gary Jones over at John Chow’s blog covering twitter 101, I was compelled to sign up and am now proud to be a twit.

The purpose of this post is not to explain why you need to sign up for twitter if you haven’t already – trust me, you do – or how much fun it can be – trust me, it is – but rather to try and assemble an ultimate list of dads and husbands that are twits.

Here is a list of outstanding dads/husbands that you can find and follow on twitter.

Ultimate List of Twitter Dads & Husbands

• dereksemmler
• BuildingCamelot
• rileycentral
• SepiaBand
• aimclear
• shoemoney
• derrich
• problogger
• chrisgarrett
• byosko
• Scobleizer
• bluefur
• JohnChowDotCom
• guykawasaki
• copyblogger
• Frauenfelder
• mommydaddyblog
• AGoodHusband
• Xbox4NappyRash
• Akula
• TimFerriss
• jnbammer
• sagar13d
• khylek
• fuadar
• deguia
• theratingblog
• noahdavidsimon
• rcyork
• lasthome
• RuudHein
• cc_chapman
• EdRoberts
• mfleig
• mdoeff
• gnomedad
• scrabbler99
• smashingred
• jaywop
• dedmond29
• Devon_O_in_CO
• technosailor
• radix33
• papamike
• CPeterC
• bpolensky
• sitelogic
• nowsourcing
• waugaman
• msh2006
• rtkmusic
• abbysbooth
• liveonmars
• nlbctim
• Jinfinite8
• busydad
• rudecactus
• annoyingboring
• gunfighter
• zoesdad
• joeprah
• mitchmcdad
• stshores24
• mattpetty
• GrantGriffiths
• struglas
• jasonrothlv
• mrbigdubya
• LOD
• chiatt
• augnix
• jchenard
• Corruptor
• DadGoneMad
• sac_
• sceptre95
• jhcuatro
• tvsmike
• benandwyattsdad
• dvs
• arriflex
• shap
• djwanson
• jspiewak
• teebery
• brianifoster
• beelerspace
• greenergrad
• RaggedEdge
• jimbrayton
• joshglid
• RsGunther
• CyberCerberus
• roadhacker
• MrVersatal
• BrooklynBeast
• Ramshackle
• ceatSOFT
• ovpaul
• twazi
• neilalbrock
• keebo
• kobak
• edchapel
• tjstankus
• DStoneburner
• chriseppstein
• chrismorgan
• m_2
• mkarol
• fiorelli
• Zencore
• jkersley
• dmooreintersect
• sampsa
• niczak
• crimsonl
• stevenbristol
• jimiray
• thinkreferrals
• christophergray
• DaddysToolbox
• waynesutton
• shermanhu
• bikegeek
• motherbumper
• 19thHole
• menwithpens
• livecrunch
• eMarv
• SeanHannigan
• kevinthoule
• billpennington
• dwescott1
• wbaustin
• nlbctim
• smc2911
• gcoates
• e_man
• RoyMontero
• swoodruff
• claynewton
• lloydgomez
• minmax2k
• betshopboy
• RyanEs
• fitzwillie
• velociped
• savvydaddy
• MikeRalph
• simplyChuck
• DarinRMcClure
• tszcheetah
• childsplayx2
• hoopadoo
• Bobzilla
• nevali
• markbaillie
• bruncleubba
• maxgladwell
• superk696
• chriswebb
• PacketRat
• martyj
• andycaster
• TheFitB
• shellen
• cechastain
• wingbuilder
• leroykmay
• thatrobguy
• TaxMan45
• DavidWise
• davidbullock
• chrisbrogan
• doughenderson
• ChrisBatDell
• aeroG
• Homeschooling
• ThirdHyphen
• shawnjooste
• justinhartman
• stii
• marioOlckers
• bradshorr
• edstoffel
• flanimation
• Zeitnehmer
• matthewSBOC
• DaveTaylor
• FilmBuzz
• PopDaddy
• knightsicre
• TheMadHermit
• PecanCtMichael
• yafd
• unscripteddad
• Steve_Adams
• BuckDaddy
• jimbo10
• _tomsk
• rbucich
• colepierce
• rywhee
• DaddyJoe
• menRsmart
• iGoByDoc
• DerekMarkham
• SeanDaily
• CraftyDad
• thezendad
• TwinToddlersDad
• jt_topics
• solargroupies
• tomkimmerer
• croncast
• Bullhunter
• TheBusyBrain
• CCSeed
• marlonbroussard
• tonyfarley
• JBMovies
• campingblogger
• randog
• steveouch
• writerdad
• 3rblogging
• SaintJer
• joegerstandt
• easton
• johnmorgan
• idibs
• Paisano
• aaronmccall
• jefftippett
• GregKnottLeMond
• iaindodsworth
• zen_habits
• TheDigitalLife
• stephenkruiser
• ZachInPhilly
• PaulsHealthBlog
• tombeardshaw
• aeioux
• dad_info
• odadeo
• louisgray
• hightechdad
• TheFatherLife
• daddyclay
• daddybrad
• thedadjam
• dadcentric
• BackpackingDad
• geekycyberdad
• MrBabyMan
• divorceddadwkly
• gadgetvirtuoso
• orlund
• adadslife
• joedawson
• jamesatbabyspot
• ladaddy
• LookyDaddy
• SoulShiner
• 5646569
• johnfairley
• FitAndBusyDad
• jasoncrouch
• JasonFalls
• mikevmusic
• JiMpiSh
• MathewButka

This will be a living list as I continue to search through twitter looking for the men that I know are dads, but if you’re a dad/husband not on the list above please leave a comment below or send me a tweet “@dereksemmler add me to the club” and you will be added to the list.

One of the goals for this blog is to promote the role of fathers and the importance of finding a balance between the demands of your career and the needs of your family.

As more and more dads invade the Interweb, I’d love to see this list of dads and husbands on twitter become a resource to help you connect with like-minded people and become a better man, husband, and/or dad.

Spending quality time with your children is essential to not only your child’s health and well-being, but also your own. Many men feel that their responsibility is to work hard and provide a decent living for their family. While there is no question that that is important, we also need to pay attention to the relationship with our children.

Here are the 10 ways to make time for your children, along with my comments on each.

1. Commit to a family mealtime each day.

Setting aside time to sit down as a family and share a meal is very important. Eliminate any distractions, such as the television or the newspaper, so you can focus on having some quality conversation.

It may be difficult to always be home in time for dinner but don’t let that stop you. Maybe you can share breakfast on some days before you head to work and the kids leave for school. Or maybe it can be something as simple as a special dessert time after dinner if you cannot get home in time for dinner. Be creative.

2. Write your children’s activities into your schedule book – in ink!

You might not feel like the occasional baseball game or dance competition is that big of a deal, but this is something that is important to your child and your presence demonstrates that they are important to you as well.

Is that late work meeting really more important than the excitement your child feels when they see you in the crowd? Book their events on your calendar and treat their “meeting” just as you would if you were meeting with your boss.

3. Identify one thing on your weekly schedule you can do without and replace it with kid time.

Do you really need to see the new episode of Lost? Look at the variety of ways that you spend your time right now and find something that can take a backseat to spending time with your child.

Honestly evaluate how important each activity is during the week and ask yourself if your time would be better spent building a stronger relationship with your son or daughter.

4. Take one of your children along when you run errands.

While your kids might not always want to run errands, you can spend some great time together running around town. The time in the car offers a great chance to talk about things such as school or whatever is on their mind.

Face-to-face conversation can sometimes be too intimate for your children to feel comfortable sharing all of their thoughts. When you are focused on driving, you may find that your kids will never stop talking – as I know my kids talk a mile a minute whenever we are in the car.

5. Volunteer to participate in a regularly scheduled child activity, such as coaching a softball team or helping with a school activity.

As I mentioned earlier about how much your kids will enjoy your mere presence at their activities, they will really enjoy the time you can spend with them as a coach or participant.

While I haven’t been able to devote the time to coaching one of my kid’s activities, I have had the chance to participate at their school and the smile on their face when I walk in their classroom is priceless.

6. Identify one children’s show on TV that you secretly like to watch and make a point of watching it with your child.

Just one? Seriously, there are quite a few children shows that both my kids and I really enjoy. One show that we all enjoy watching is Drake and Josh on Nickelodeon.

My wife and I have actually watched a few of these shows even when the kids are not around. The family shows tend to have quality family lessons and can provide quite a few topics to discuss with your children.

7. Develop an interest in a hobby you and your child can enjoy together.

There is nothing better than spending time with your child doing something that you both love. There are endless opportunities as to what you can do together – fishing, biking, basketball, etc.

It really doesn’t matter which hobby you share, as the real goal is to just have time to bond together.

8. If your work requires that you travel, take one of your children along with you when your business trip can be extended into a long weekend.

Depending on the age of your child, this may be rather difficult but not out of the question. The largest obstacle would be to find someone that can watch your child while you are occupied with work.

If you’re visiting another office from your company, maybe they have an on-site daycare. You may also be able to talk to who you are visiting and request that your child be permitted to accompany you as long as they behave professionally.

9. If your work schedule is flexible, start your work day earlier so you can get home earlier in the afternoon to be with your family.

Flexible schedules are a great way to make additional time to be with your kids. You can start the day earlier to be home earlier, or maybe spend the morning with your kids and work a little later.

In the summer, I like to get into the office by 6:00am and leave by 2:00pm on Monday and Friday. In addition, I take Wednesday off all year and that provides quite a few opportunities to spend time with my kids.

10. Leave your work, cellular phones and pagers at home when you go on family vacations and outings.

Technology can be a life saver – but it can also hamper your relationships. As I wrote about 5 technologies that hurt your work-life balance, you need to be conscious of not allowing technology to rule your life.

Get Involved With Your Children

There are many ways to get involved with your children. Whether it be one of these ten suggestions or something else that you have discovered, get out there and be an active part of your child’s life.

As a matter of fact, I had to take a break while writing this post to have a “national fighting” match with my budding boxing champion and now it is time to unplug and enjoy a pizza and movie night with the family.

When the alarm sounded this morning, it was a little harder than usual to roll out of bed and get ready to face the day of work that was waiting for me.

As you will remember, today was the first weekday morning since my wife returned to the ranks of SAHM and I will admit that I was a little envious of the fact that she would not be heading to work today.

However, those feelings of envy quickly disappeared when I saw the smile on my wife’s face as she was excited to get down to business. And as much as I would like to say that “get down to business” refers to a story that my wife would kill me if I shared here, it actually refers to the business of cleaning the house.

My wife loves to clean.

Don’t ask me…that seems against human nature as I can find at least 8,354 things I would rather be doing than cleaning the house. But before I had even finished getting dressed for work, I could hear the music playing and the cleaning had already commenced. The laundry room had been emptied out and the floor was being scrubbed when I came down to grab a bite to eat for breakfast.

I don’t know about you but if I had just become a SAHD, I picture my first day being more along the lines of getting the kids on the bus for school and then crawling back into bed for a few hours.

By the time I returned home from work the laundry room was restored and freshly organized, the area rug in the family room had been cleaned, the bathrooms had been cleaned from top to bottom, and the kitchen reminded me of a cleanroom. The best part was that my wife couldn’t have been happier – and I didn’t have to do any of the cleaning.

Happiness is priceless.

As much as we may have enjoyed the extra money that my wife was earning while working as a preschool teacher, I can tell you that you cannot put a price on seeing how happy she was today.

Today my wife transitioned from being a preschool teacher back to being a full-time SAHM.

As much as she enjoyed the time she spent with the children in all of her classes, the fact of the matter is that this job had become a source of great stress in her life and considering that we do not need the income (pay at this preschool took “low paid” to a whole new level) it was the right time to make a change.

With both of our kids now in school full-time, one may wonder why she needs to stay home. To be honest, I questioned that myself at one time. However, since my wife has been working I have a much fonder appreciation for everything that she used to take care of when she was at home and understand that being a SAHP can easily be a full-time job.

While my wife currently has visions of cleaning the house every day and participating more in our kids’ classrooms at their school, I’m hoping she will also return to one of her passions. Before my wife went back to work, she really enjoyed making hand-made bead jewelry but put that on the back burner when she began working.

Now that she will no longer have to spend countless hours preparing lesson plans, craft projects, and all of the other tasks that are often expected of teachers, there should be time to explore the possibility of pursuing her jewelry making again.

I’ll admit that I am being somewhat selfish in my desire for her to pursue her passion for jewelry, as it very well could result in me pursuing one of my passions.

One of my passions is web development (although more on the programming side than design) and I had originally secured a domain in the hopes of using it to feature her jewelry. When that was put on hold, BeadInsanity.com sat idle and eventually became the generic website it is today. With her making jewelry, there would be a need for the website to be developed as well as a few other projects that I have already thought about to help her with a few things.

The best part about this is that it could present an opportunity for the two of us to pursue our individual passions together and that is very appealing to me.

Photo source: Photo-Mojo

Just when you start to lose sight of this bond, you’ll share a moment with your child where you realize just how much it rocks to be a dad. Times like these are something extra special, life-changing perhaps.

1. You get to be there for your child as they conquer their fears.

Photo credit: flattop341

2. You get to teach your child the value of a hard day’s work.

Photo credit: DrStarbuck

3. You get to share the power of a hug – in both good and bad times.

Photo credit: .tatiana.

4. You get to act like a kid and play, play, play.

Photo credit: Caprica2006

5. You get to show your child that they are important to you.

Photo credit: losiek

6. You get to help your child reach new heights.

Photo credit: Hamed Saber

7. You get to be a role model – whether you see it or not, your child is watching and learning.

Photo credit: *clarity*

8. You get to show your child that anything is possible as long as you try your hardest.

Photo credit: mikebaird

9. You get to see your child experience something for the first time.

Photo credit: Orin Optiglot

10. You get to help shape your child into an adult and watch them take on the world.

Photo credit: stevebrownd50

The battle between parents and kids over a clean bedroom has been raging since before the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series – sorry, I’m a Chicago White Sox fan and just had to get a dig in on the Cubs as spring training gets underway.

When you think that you have won the battle as your child begins to clean their room, you quickly get a dose of reality when 45 seconds later your child exclaims that they are done cleaning.

Humoring yourself, you peek your head into their room and you think one shirt might have been picked up off the floor.

Our oldest son usually resorts to the following routine when he is told to clean his room:

• All of the clothes on the floor are rolled into a ball and shoved into the corner of the closet.
• Toys are crammed into his “junk drawer” in one of the dressers.
• Once the junk drawer is full, everything else gets crammed under the bed.
• All done.

There is no doubt that parents and children have very different definitions of what it means to clean a room. When our children are cleaning their room, they will usually ask if it has to be “Mom clean” or their version of clean.

Think back to the last time you had this battle with your children and tell me if the following sounds familiar:

Did you notice the real problem during that conversation? Hint, it happened right there at the end.

Ownership.

This battle is less about actually cleaning the room and more about ownership of space. Parents feel they own the entire house while children are trying to claim ownership of their room. After all, they are regularly told it is their room.

As a parent it can be hard to relinquish complete control to your children, but eventually it has to happen and giving them the ownership of their room can go a long way towards helping them gain a sense of responsibility.

When we constantly demand that they do what we want with their things – their room in this case – aren’t we really saying that we don’t respect their ability to make their own decisions?

There are valid arguments as to why your child should have to clean their room, including:

• What is that smell? Dirty underwear piled over the heat vent doesn’t always smell the best – trust me. If you allow your children to have food in their room, there may be things growing somewhere in there and that is not healthy.

• Being messy can be expensive. When a bedroom looks like a disaster area, it is easy to step on – and break – the Nintendo DS that is buried under Legos and dirty clothes. Games are lost, CDs are scratched. Trying to replace the damaged items is not cheap.

• @#*$! You only need to have a G.I. Joe gun lodged into your foot once to appreciate the ability to walk in a clean bedroom.

Unfortunately, the “because I said so” argument isn’t very valid here – or anywhere to be perfectly honest, hopefully my kids won’t be reading this post.

While I would love to tell you that we have conquered this age-old battle in our house, it is one that has been acted out far too many times. Our kids despise having to clean their room. The mess really drives my wife crazy and while the mess usually doesn’t bother me, I support my wife’s effort to have the kids clean their room.

Ding…ding…ding!

Before this battle has a chance to enter another round, my wife and I are going to explore the idea of having the kids’ bedrooms truly be their space to do with as they see fit.

There will be a couple of ground rules though, as otherwise I would fear for the safety of anyone that steps into our house.

• Every six months their rooms will need a thorough cleaning. This will ensure that they don’t somehow find a way to clone dirty socks that eventually take over the world.
• We reserve the right to not enter their room if we feel it is too messy – see @#*$! above. This means that they might miss out on a bedtime story, at least in their room, if it is too messy.

With the bedroom battle waging on no matter what methods have been used, it is time to transfer ownership of the bedroom and respect the right for our children to have their own space.

Am I being too optimistic?

Please share your stories of how you have approached the battle over a clean bedroom in your house.

Photo credit: Jono Rotten