Debunking Traditional Stereotypes Of Men
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Damien Riley, author, teacher and dad, keeps an eye on popculture, the news, and humor all around us. His blog, Postcards from the FunnyFarm, covers topics including teaching, inspiration, humor, and psychology.
Damien’s mission statement for his writing has been “to publish creative and innovative content” since December of 2006. He is married to Sarah, also a teacher and blogger. Together they have 3 children.
It’s been a long time since the 70’s and we don’t hear much about women’s lib anymore. My wife called me over to look at an ad of an attractive, bikini clad woman the other day and she was covering her face.
After I agreed it was indeed a beautiful woman, the face clearly revealed it was “a man baby” (in the voice of Austin Powers).
The roles of men and women are blurred and for that matter, so are the genders. We men carry around confusion and anxiety about who we are and more importantly, who we’re supposed to be. I wanted to look at the role of men in society for this post so I sat down and outlined three traditional stereotypes to compare and contrast with 2008:
1. Tough, like Clint Eastwood: No, we’re not expected to be tough anymore. In fact, we are often criticized for being too hard and cold. In the media, men are portrayed more and more as the “touchy feely” type.
Have you seen the ads for the new Patrick Dempsey movie where he is the maid of honor in a wedding? How do we find a middle ground between Eastwood and, in this case, Dempsey?
This is something we struggle with as men these days.
2. Provider, like Bill Cosby: No, many women are the breadwinners in the home these days. This is partly true because of the woman’s movement and the doors it opened to women in the 70’s and also due to recession.
Several men I know have lost their jobs and their wives are filling the gap until something opens up. This is socially acceptable. Men may find this hard to live with though since we are so used to our traditional role as the providers.
3. Wise, like Father Knows Best: Men are seen nowadays as more work-horses than pillars of wisdom. In some ways, this is better.
Men really aren’t all that wise and there is much men are ignorant about. But we do have a lot to offer. Most people will agree after the book “Men are from Mars, Women from Venus” that men and women have something totally unique to bring to the table.
We have learned that the know-it-all dad’s days are over but we should always remember we do have something valuable to offer the world as men.
I won’t get into the issue of gay men roles vs. straight because being straight, the only way I could really analyze it would be through the media. I think its prominence in the media clearly makes the male image more blurry.
After presenting these three stereotypes, I’d like to pose one question I hope you’ll answer for me:
What the heck are men supposed to be in 2008?



The Man Page is your home to get career advice, parenting tips, or just kick back and escape from the pressure of being a man. Join Derek Semmler - a working husband and father to two young boys, as we tackle the issues facing men today and have a good deal of fun in the process. He also blogs at
Men are supposed to be what they want their women to be.
Supportive, understanding, dominant when necessary, submissive when needed, able to realize that their spouse failed mind-reading 101 and to react to intentions rather than words.
In a nutshell, that is.
Barbara
Barbara Lings last blog post..21 Days to a more profitable blog - Day 1! Internalize from where online money comes.
The singer/musician Joe Jackson wrote:
Men are supposed to have all the answers, be everything to everyone, and change on a dime when forces outside of control randomly change their minds about what it is we’re supposed to be.
Charlie on the PA Tpks last blog post..Sorry for the interruption
I for one think it’s too bad that so many men are moving away from the provider role. Call me old fashioned, but I think the traditional provider/nurturer roles have value.
cory huffs last blog post..The Manival #4 Is Up and Running
@ Barbara: Thanks for your comment. I think that is a great way to take the question. The old “golden rule” as applied to gender roles. There is something settling though in knowing ones role and just doing it. I never know if I am doing too much man stuff or not enough sometimes in my house.
@ Cory: Thank you for your comment. Yes I agree. When one is providing it frees the other up to provide in other ways. That can be man or woman nowadays but as long as the mom doesn’t want to be the primary breadwinner, I think I am like you — men generally suck in comparison at being stay-at-home providers. Of course I don’t want to ruffle any feathers out there, there are some exceptions.
You know, I think people are people. They all have their strengths and weaknesses regardless of gender and regardless of what roles society thinks each gender should or shouldn’t be doing.
I don’t think there’s one category or type that could describe half the people on the planet, know what I mean?
In our house, my husband does all the cooking and I build and fix things. So that’s what we do. It’s all about teamwork. I don’t think it matters who does what as long as all parties involved in the situation are happy with it.
@ Charlie: Wow! your comment just showed up in my Bulk folder. Glad I didn’t miss it. Joe Jackson is a great songwriter and has keen insight into what I am talking about in the post. Thanks for that.
Damien Rileys last blog post..Collective Male ID Crisis: My Guest Post on the Man Page
I think it depends on the culture, and I don’t just mean the different ethnic type, even though that also applies.
Within the same culture, there are yet many different sub-cultures, mainly defined by different socio-eco environments. Some households can afford to be single-income, have the amenities to work from home, flexible hours then for more time with the kids or golf (!), while others will have to leave the kids to the care of others during daylight.
Yet there are households where the mother wears the pants, inadvertently allowing the growing children to think this is the way the universe works (cos they have no other couples to sample during developing years).
Having said that then, I don’t know what a man is supposed to be.
HELP! I am confused! Does that make me less of a man then??
JLows last blog post..Day of Fun in the Sun!
The man should try to be a team player. Your team (family, friends, work) is only as stong as it’s individual members.
Be who you are.. and be the best at who you are.
Strong Ones last blog post..Under the Influence