Happy Birthday :: Giving Your Child A Choice

Today my youngest son turns 7 years old!

It is amazing (not to mention a little scary as well) that my son is already celebrating his seventh birthday, as it seems like just yesterday that he was a tiny little baby being held in our arms.

Over the years, he has given me plenty of opportunities to reflect on why being a dad rocks and I cherish those moments.

As we celebrate his birthday together as a family (thanks to my flexible schedule I will be home with him all day), I thought that I would share something that we have been doing for both of our boys the last couple of years.

The Birthday Choice.

Two years ago, as our oldest son’s birthday was quickly approaching, my wife and I were dreading the idea of entertaining an army of young children for an afternoon. That was when we thought of presenting our son with a choice.

He could have a party with all of his friends…

Or he could receive a more significant gift from mom and dad.

If you’re thinking that sounds like bribery, well, I guess it is!

As you might imagine, he chose the appeal of receiving the bigger, better, world-changing gift as opposed to spending an afternoon with his friends. My wife and I waited until our son wasn’t looking to high-five that we had diverted the trip to Chuck-E-Cheese and the inevitable need to crawl through the maze of tunnels to find the one child that could not find his way out.

Some might think that a choice like this is encouraging a child to be materialistic.

I like to think that it is teaching them to be realistic.

They learn to evaluate their choices and make a decision that will lead them to the most happiness. The fact that their choice also leads to our happiness as parents is just a bonus. But this lesson will serve them quite well in later life.

Do they spend a few hundred dollars on a party to entertain their friends for an afternoon? Or do they opt to skip the party and enjoy their special gift for many months, if not years?

That really isn’t too different than the decisions that they will have to make many times as they grow older.

Do they spend the money on an elaborate weekend vacation or do they contribute to their Roth IRA and retire earlier? Do they accept the job offer with a higher salary and more hours, or the job offer with a lower salary and no overtime?

As parents, we do not encourage them to make a particular decision and we support them either way. They are welcome to select the party with their friends at the expense of a more substantial gift; however, they have yet to do so since we first presented them with this choice.

For the record, our youngest son did select the more substantial gift this year. In addition to the gifts that we would have bought him whether he had a party or not, he will be receiving Rock Band Special Edition for Nintendo Wii.

Remember how I mentioned earlier that being a dad rocks?

By giving my son a choice on his birthday, I will have an opportunity to rock with him and it really doesn’t get much better than that.

As we rock out this afternoon, I’d like to hear what you think about presenting your child with the choice between a full-blown birthday party with their friends or to have that money spent on a gift for them.

Photo credit: Kevin