Surely we have enough understanding of child development to have SOME ideas about how to, essentially, humanize the bully. I mean, I don’t believe that ANY child is born a bully, they’re created. I once heard about a program that actually put known bullies in charge of some kind of project or other, giving them a chance to experience positive leadership instead of aggressive domination. Apparently it worked! And, as for the suggestion that aides be provided for bully victims like “behaviour-disordered children”, I’d say you’ve got it all wrong. Being a victim is not a disorder, bullying is, so the BULLIES should be the ones to have an aide!

From the victims standpoint, I think that the experience of standing up for themselves is CRUCIAL. No one wants to feel like a victim, powerless and afraid. And frankly, having confronted my bullies I know, your self-respect goes up too!

I really like the teacher’s recommendation about yelling in the bully’s face, but I ESPECIALLY like the idea of taking the bully aside to confront them first. Very smart! Bully and Victim both get to retain their dignity, which is a big thing to all concerned!

Despite the bully’s behaviour, they’re still a child (in this case), and a human with human needs. If we find a way to provide for those needs, the urge to bully, I think, will dissipate naturally. There HAS to be something beyond just PUNISHMENT.

Schools have become ridiculous places. They protect the “rights” of those who make others miserable, rather than using discipline to create a good environment for all.

The idea that both are equally guilty in a fight is just ridiculous, but schools, in their efforts to curb violence, have adopted a zero tolerance policy that often makes it worse.

With the schools no longer disciplining or punishing troublemakers, it sometimes is up to someone else to step in. And this time that someone was your son!

I’ve written a syndicated column about just this issue a few months ago. You can read it here.

No guilt for it.s last blog post..“White Space”: Build in a Little Breathing Room

From a teachers point of view, I will say that this is very hard to police. The bully knows when the teacher is watching and intentionally does his work out of site. Other kids won’t tell, so it is ones word against the other with no one having seen a thing. Sometimes a bully will frame a kid for stealing, etc. All the evidence points to the victim… It is hard to catch. Teachers aren’t afraid, they are simply not able to be everywhere at once, and the bullies know that.

Micheles last blog post..Bread, Milk and Tai Chi

After two weeks of my son being gang beaten my husband and I went to the school (many visits came before this one, but this one was the one that mattered in the end I guess) and informed the school that the next day our son would be attending school with a baseball bat. We showed the principal the HORRIBLE bruises that covered his ribs from these kids and informed her that we had finally given him permission to bash them back, with a weapon since it was often 5 against 1.

She took our son and walked through the entire school, finding every one of the bullies. She then suspended them.

It still makes me sad to think that we had to go to that point before any action was taken. But, at least our little boy stopped having the snot beat out of him.

You should take this to the school board. Districts MUST confront bullying.

And yes, I was bullied, a lot. It basically ruined Junior High for me.

“Go to school learn lots of new things, come home smarter, and don’t take no crap off nobody.”

Also, behold the wisdom of US schools.

Well done. Seriously.