Comments on: Is American Culture Encouraging Men To Put Work Before Family?

By: Q&A Round 3 :: The Answers » Derek Semmler dot com

Q&A Round 3 :: The Answers » Derek Semmler dot com — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 04:50:57 +0000

[...] Is American Culture Encouraging Men To Put Work Before Family? [...]

By: The #1 Obstacle To Work Life Balance For Dads | Dad Balance

The #1 Obstacle To Work Life Balance For Dads | Dad Balance — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 21:07:00 +0000

[...] might be cultural influences that encourage men to put their work before their family but I think ultimately there is a [...]

By: Derek Semmler

Derek Semmler — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 04:14:36 +0000

@toddlerdaddy :: It worked well for us because my wife’s earning potential was less than mine so we didn’t have to sacrifice much financially for her to be home with the kids. But I would have loved to have been there for all of the little things that I did miss, although there were also a lot of fussy tantrums that I missed as well.

I’ve got a few friends in your position where the wife can or does make more money yet the husband keeps working because his only other option is to quit entirely.

By: toddlerdaddy

toddlerdaddy — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 00:25:35 +0000

I am in a weird situation in that I wouldn’t mind being a stay at home dad, and overall we would probably be better off financially – as my wifes earning potential is the same as mine but with more room for advancement.

But the reality is that we came to the conclusion that after a couple of years my ability to get back into the workforce would be greatly deminished when compared to hers because it is accepted for her to take the time off (she can take up to two years leave and then return part time if she wants) whereas for me there are no similar options meaning I would have to quit my job – and thus making it extremely hard to return to a similar job later.

By: Derek Semmler

Derek Semmler — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:45:17 +0000

@Kelvin :: It is more than just being expected to work from what I see. It is the expectation that work should be a man’s first priority and I see this enforced in a variety of ways.

@Lorna :: You’ve made a great point about the views of women that decide to stay home or go back to work. There is no easy answer for anyone – the important thing to remember is to do whatever makes you happy and ignore the perceptions of society.

@Damien :: It isn’t even so much being a stay-at-home-dad but just trying to be involved with your kids and family gets a negative perception in many workplaces. But you’re right, being a stay at home parent is a TON of work and anyone that thinks it is easy needs to try it first.

By: Damien

Damien — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:21:04 +0000

I’m not sure if I could handle being a stay-at-home dad. The crying, the diapers, and that’s just what I deal with at work!

By: lornadoone

lornadoone — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 03:57:34 +0000

Your article made me think about the fact that while men are generally just expected to go to work, women really face sort of a double-edged sword on that one. If she does have a job, then one segment of society is going to look down on a mother for being away from her children. If she stays home to raise her kids, another segment will deride her for “just” a being stay-at-home mom.

Of course, a guy who has kids and doesn’t go to work is generally just considered a deadbeat in the current atmosphere. We still seem to expect dads to be pretty hands-off in the raising of our country’s children, and it’s mind-boggling to me.

By: Kelvin Kao

Kelvin Kao — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 01:49:39 +0000

Not a surprise that our society expects men to work… but that sex offender bit is kind of random.