“Any man who truly “gets it” will be rewarded by all the sex they can handle.”

Really, just how insulting can you get?

With the exception of #1 (which is possibly indicative of a guy who is overly horny as a result of being deprived by a manipulating wife), ALL of these can apply to the woman as well as to the man. So few here care to bring that to light, yet they are probably the same people who use words like “equality” in every other sentence.

Some want to complain about the negative or “my needs” comments, but if you had a clue you’d realize that is probably the bitterness of a good man who’s been ruined by a bad or manipulative woman. If you want to call them whiners, you should feel the same way about abused or abandoned women. Psychological and emotional abuse by manipulators are no less real than physical abuse.

Finally, comments like #25, 28, 37, etc are people who for the most part get it. Unbalanced teachings on marriage do NOTHING to help; posts like this piss off men and teach women to be unjustly demanding. Rowboats have two oars for a reason, and marriage is all about balance and working to meet your partner’s needs. If they BOTH don’t do that, it will fall apart every time.

There’s a book titled “The 5 love languages.” One of which is service, which the example given is doing housework for the wife. IF that is her love language, she recognizes that you are showing your love for her by lightening her load. Let’s face it. If she’s too tired from doing work all evening while your butt is on the couch in front of the TV, you won’t get any. There are four other love languages. You need to figure out what your love language is and what your spouse’s love language is in order to understand what makes them feel loved and vice versa. You should not feel that doing chores is the trick for the treat. If it is, your relationship needs serious help.

Each marriage needs boundaries that are agreed upon. While I enjoy my husband’s squeezes, I am not comfortable with such PDA in public and particularly not in front of our four children. I don’t want them to think it is appropriate behavior.

One of the comments mentioned building a relationship with your significant other. If you actually have a relationship to speak of, none of this is a big issue. She wants to make you feel loved just as much as you want to make her feel loved. It’s more about the other person than “my needs.” As was mentioned, if you’re both giving 100% everyone’s needs are being met.

Those of you who don’t want to work at having a good relationship, do the world a favor and don’t get married.

I think these things are pretty right on but it is tough to keep at these things it takes discepline.

Sadly another “men’s” post that says nothing new. Common blogging…

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Anyway, I love my wife and you don’t have to do all this if all you want is sex … but you do need to do it is you want a loving relationship. It’s all good and its not about being being a door mat.

In fact, after reading I was inspired to write something on a similar topic … You need to love the way your partner wants to be loved.

http://www.stephenbaugh.com/blog/2008/09/the-guy-that-turns-her-light-off/

Anyone that has been married for awhile knows that keeping the fire alive in marriage and spicing things up in the bedroom takes work and effort by both the man and the woman.

I see nothing wrong with your post here, as you are obviously focusing this post on the things men/husbands can do to keep the fire embers burning in the bedroom. Grow up boys and get a clue.

Since Derek is a man, OF COURSE he would discuss this topic from a man’s point of view. As if I would ever post something like How to be a Good Husband or How to be a Good Dad etc.

Derek, ignore the rants of these dweebs who would rather whine and yes, BITCH about what things their wives should be doing for THEM in the bedroom, as opposed to taking a good look in the mirror and realizing bedroom antics are a two-way street BOYS….

Still wearing those boxers/underwear with the little holes in em? That old beat up shirt with sweat stains and funky looking sweats? Yeah, real exciting for your lady to wanna jump your bones with that on. Whine and whimper all you like. You’re just making yourselves look stupid and juvenile.

seriously… I’m a good boy… most of the time!!

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The idea of marriage is mutually seeking to meet the needs of the other. Mutual. Seeking. What I find is that many women never get that point. They understand if a man isn’t seeking THEIR needs, but they can’t imagine that they are guilty as well.

It’s not a trade. It’s not “I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine”. It should be independent – you as a good man seek her needs, she as a good woman seeks his needs.

As SOON as you turn it into a TRADE, or worse, prostitution (paying for it with chores, etc) you have ruined selfless love.

To the comments on men having to ‘earn’ sex…C’mon let’s face it – we all do ‘tricks for treats’ all the time, and not just for sex. We do them for employers and family members, for friends and even strangers. Just try being rude to the kid behind the counter some time and see how your service is impmacted!

Like my grandma (and every other grandma out there, I imagine) said, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

If it’s ok with you, I’m going to add parts of this discussion to a post I’m working on.

Thanks again!

Romance writer, Loring Parks, at Juicy Like An Apple

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Good Lord.

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