Comments on: Parenting :: The Most Competitive Adult Sport

By: The Manival #15 | Discovering Dad

The Manival #15 | Discovering Dad — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:04:57 +0000

[...] presents Parenting :: The Most Competitive Adult Sport posted at The Man Page. Derek says, “Parents are competing with one another and the game is [...]

By: Competitive Parenting :: Failure Is Unacceptable | The Man Page

Competitive Parenting :: Failure Is Unacceptable | The Man Page — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:03:53 +0000

[...] sharing the idea that parenting has become the most competitive adult sport, there was plenty of quality discussion that ensued and I noticed a common theme while discussing [...]

By: Discovering Dad Blog Carnival - August 2008 | Discovering Dad

Discovering Dad Blog Carnival - August 2008 | Discovering Dad — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 04:47:17 +0000

[...] Semmler presents Parenting: The Most Competitive Adult Sport at The Man [...]

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 23:52:02 +0000

This is a great subject. I've found with three daughters will different abilities that I have to slow down and not get too carried away. I think most parents are living their lives through their kids. Can't do that. I now go to games or competitions and find the positive. Mikes last blog post..Quite a Shakeup in So Cal

By: Allena

Allena — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 23:51:11 +0000

thanks for a reminder NOT to do this. I THINK I don’t, but who knows? This helps.

By: A Mama's Rant

A Mama's Rant — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:47:52 +0000

It starts before the kids can walk. I breast fed longer than you did. I wore my baby more. I co-slept longer. Etc. I think if we are confident in ourselves as parents (both mom and dads) we don't need to get into these pissing contests with other parents. A book that explores this on the mom's side is "Opting In" by Amy Richards. A Mama's Rants last blog post..The Bunko Babes: A book review

By: Kelvin Kao

Kelvin Kao — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 20:54:13 +0000

I really think sports should be used to teach “failures” though. At the professional level, the best hitter only hits 1/3 of the time, and the best 3-point shooter also misses half the time. It’s part of the game. I really think those facts should be acknowledged.

By: JLow

JLow — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:19:05 +0000

If you are in a cosmopolitan city, chances are you have come across ethnic Asian academic kids who know nothing (much more) than to study study study.

I dare say the above example is probably that of 1st or 2nd generation migrants (who still have [live with??] 1st generation migrant parents). I live in Malaysia, ethnically Chinese. My parents have a friend who slapped her son in school when picking him up from after-school, upon finding out his exam results. I am made to understand that his score was already in the 90%’s. My mum told me this story while trying to get me to study hard(er) in school.

Confucius says education is the ticket to success. That’s been the teaching as long as you are still exposed to Chinese-rooted education teachings and /or upbringing.

So I guess if you put two and two together, you get My child is (going to be) more successful than yours mentality… at least in this culture, as long as its tradition is upheld generationally.

Whoa, I just created a big word there. Spell checker didn’t even complain. I am so successful man.

By: Tara B.

Tara B. — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:22:58 +0000

My husband and I were both highly competitive athletes. Neither one of us had parents that were over the top and had basic clapping and cheers from our moms. As parents of 5 kids, 2 are already in competitive soccer and softball and it was an eye opener the first year they played. I was in shock! I couldn’t believe what i was seeing…. dads drilling the kids and trying to correct everything they did or a mom taking credit for their child’s success…It made me sick! My husband and I vowed that we would never, ever “life through our children”. We had our turn and we had a good run too, but it’s their turn now. We’re just here to be their biggest fans.

Tara B.s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday…14 years today

By: AmyL

AmyL — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:12:59 +0000

Wow, that is sickening. I live way out in the sticks, so there’s less competition here. I wonder if that’s a population density and/or an income level thing?

Anyway. I totally hear you on the pushing kids to do too much issue. I signed the older boys (age 10) up for football this fall thinking they’d be involved in it a couple of days a week, get some good exercise, learn some skills, and perhaps even mature a little. Yea.

Instead, we’re in the situation of boys practicing 4 nights a week until school starts, at which point it goes down to 3 nights plus Saturday games. For ten year olds??? It’s insane. We signed up and made a commitment, so we’re going to give it a try. This is definitely already on the “once in a lifetime” list. I can see that kind of schedule for kids well into their teens, but not for elementary age students.

By: pete

pete — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:12:47 +0000

This is rampant at my kids’ charter school. There are many kids there with five-day work weeks, literally. They go to school and then have events scheduled every day. Dance, drama, karate, gym, swimming, piano, etc… it’s ridiculous. These kids are worn out every day and you can see it. I’m glad to report that I caught myself before it got out of hand. My kids took the entire summer off and they’ve been loving it.

Here’s a similar article with some links about hyper-parenting and comparativitis on Joeprah.com.

petes last blog post..Wordless Wednesday 29

By: Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach

Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:02:41 +0000

Tell me about it. That’s one reason why I shy away from sporting events but really love the individual/team aspects of Marching Band/Karate.

Your post reminded me last week when my kid participated in adult sparring for the first time – got totally overwhelmed but chose not to give up…. I was so proud of her words failed me. (okay, words didn’t really fail as I wrote a blog post about it. ).

My kids pit themselves AGAINST themselves…and it works out far better that way.

Great article, stumbled!

Barbara

Barbara Ling, Virtual Coachs last blog post..SURVIVING the Circle of Love (and smashing your fears to teeny tiny bits)

By: Khyle

Khyle — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 13:34:48 +0000

I’m hyper competitive. But when it comes to my kids – who are still very young (my 3 and 5 year olds play sports) – I make sure to emphasize only the positive. More than anything, I just want them to enjoy sports, and to participate fully. When they accomplish something, I praise them. When they don’t do well, I praise them, as long as they’re participating.

I remember the first time my oldest was in tee ball for the first time. There were parents of a not yet 4 yr old kid running their hands through their hair when the kid didn’t *run to the ball*. Oy.

I really don’t get that kind of attitude. At some point I understand that part of it is parents living vicariously through their kids, but that’s a very selfish way to behave.

Khyles last blog post..Damn that Frankie Valli