With the name of this site being Dad Balance and the first few posts focused on being a dad with a quality work-life balance, I wanted to remind all of the dads that we need to pay attention to “husband balance” as well.
It is easy to fall into the mindset that work-life balance means that you have found a balance between your work and the time you spend with your children. But work-life balance also means you have devoted time to be with your partner.
How often do you spend time with your wife without the children around?
It might seem like a silly question to ask but you might be surprised by the answer. When you arrive home from work, you may have dinner as a family or head outside for a little playtime before the kids go to bed. Once the kids are in bed though, do you and your wife do something together or do you each head off to do your own thing?
You may want to catch the end of the game while your wife sits in a different room and watches the television show of her choice. Or maybe you prefer to read a book while your wife surfs the Interweb. Regardless of what the activities may be, I think that there are quite a few couples that do their own thing rather than spend time together.
As a reminder, I’m not referring to the intimate time that you spend with your wife as I hope that is an activity spent together as opposed to each of you doing your own thing.
Finding My Husband Balance
Awhile back my wife and I had a conversation in which she expressed her feelings that I was not anywhere near the husband balance that she needed.
When I would arrive home from work, I would spend time with the kids until it was time for them to go to bed. We’d head outside to play some catch, shoot hoops or go for a bike ride. But once the kids were in bed I would usually head off to the computer to work on my blogs while my wife would read, watch television or sit less than five feet away surfing the Interweb.
I was guilty of thinking that because I was able to spend quality time with my family that I had a healthy balance between work and life. However, I was lacking in the area of husband balance.
After our conversation, I had posted on my personal site about my need to be a better husband and came up with the following points to devote my attention:
- Helping Hand
- Best Friend
- Never-Ending Love
- Date Night
Since that time I have done a much better job of finding an appropriate balance between the time spent as a family with the time spent with just my wife. There is still work to be done but I am now more in tune with what I need to do to maintain my husband balance.
Have you been paying attention to your own husband balance?