Pull Your Kid Out From School Painlessly
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Damien Riley, author, teacher and dad, keeps an eye on popculture, the news, and humor all around us. His blog, Dynamite Lesson Plan, tackles the topic of education with a perspective from someone on the inside - an elementary school teacher.
Who am I and why am I here?
Hi there again. I’m a big reader of the Man Page and I’ve enjoyed writing a few guest posts here so you may know my stuff. If not, allow me to introduce myself: I am a public school teacher, specifically 4th grade (9 year olds). I’m writing this guest blog in response to a post Derek wrote some time back in which he made the point that schools can make parents feel irresponsible for taking their kids on vacation. I am attempting to shed light on why different schools have an attitude. I also try to make it very clear that I am pro-family vacation! Finally, I provide the tips you need to take your kid out of a public school painlessly. (and be let in the front door upon return!)
Middle Class vs. Impoverished Schools
Most parents know that schools frown on student “vacations” during the year. What most do not know is the difference between a middle class and a poverty frown. Kids from middle class neighborhoods supply the school with much needed ADA funds when they are present. Kids from poverty schools do it too but they have a plentiful supply of Title I, NCLB, free lunch and many other funding programs.
So what does that mean in plain English?
Basically, the middle class schools need money and every kid in a seat pays it! The impoverished neighborhoods have more money than you can shake a stick at and don’t really worry about attendance as a funding source. Isn’t that ironic? A vacation offers so much and yet it is frowned upon. My parents used to always take us to Disneyland and museums, and even the beach sometimes on school days because they thought we would benefit by it.
Guess what, they were right and we did benefit! Out of 4 kids, all 4 have college degrees and 2 have Master’s degrees. The ultimate learning field trip is a family vacation to talk about. You can quote me on that one.
Schools don’t mind as much when poor kids miss school.
The impoverished kids are my professional area of emphasis. I have worked in inner city, impoverished schools since 1997. I’ve made home visits where the parent is out dead drunk or shuffling to hide the crack pipe. They haven’t all been bad but some things are unimaginable. For example, I found out one of my students was being taken to L.A. once a month and fake blood smattered under his nose so he could beg at the airport and make money for his family. Shall I stop there? I am sure cops and social workers see worse than I have with kids, but I have seen enough to know a few hidden truths.
My point?
Kids in poverty don’t get pulled out for vacations.
Again, the irony is that the school doesn’t follow up and doesn’t make a stink as much with the impoverished kids. Is it protecting anyone at all? This is a tough subject, I hope I haven’t offended anyone but after 10 years I think I have enough experience for an opinion.
How can you pull your kid out painlessly?
I know I am speaking here today to guys around my age 23-53 in middle class homes. I recommend you take your kids out to have vacations. I do. They have too much stress on them sometimes (though a little stress is good sometimes to achieve healthy, well-balanced goals!).
They will learn more about the world in that trip.
If it’s more than 3 days you want to avoid problems with the office and/or the teacher, see if you can do an “Independent Study” packet. Usually you can and the kid never loses any days on the roll. Sometimes they get huge rewards at assemblies and such for perfect attendance. If its just a day or two, just say she/he was sick.
Bon Voyage!
Read more of my education related blog posts at Dynamite Lesson Plan.
The Man Page is your home to get career advice, parenting tips, or just kick back and escape from the pressure of being a man. Join Derek Semmler - a working husband and father to two young boys, as we tackle the issues facing men today and have a good deal of fun in the process. He also blogs at 
I don’t agree with vacations during the academic year unless the kids are in year round school (which I also believe in).
The only stress these kids have is from their home environment regardless of the social-economic background and no amount of vacation time or time off will fix that problem.
This really reminded me how lucky our kids are…i am going to be in for a lot of battles in the next 12-16 years I think with schools…
Chelles last blog post..After He’s Been Caught: Should You Stay or Should You Go?
Growing up, my parents tried to avoid pulling me out of school for vacations (booking them during holiday time instead), but I did go on a couple of trips during the year. The experiences were great, but it did make for some “catchup” time when I got back.
Michael Kwans last blog post..Wii Balance Board + Roomba = OMGWTF
thanks, damien. that’s very helpful. i still have a lot of friends and family in germany and we’ve been talking about going there in may of next year (still school here in canada).
i love the idea of the independent studies package. that might also help with moments of boredom.
isabella moris last blog post..carnival of eating disorders, august 2008 edition
@mamaflo: I see your point. I used to teach in a year-round district and it was a very different feeling having the vacations spread out instead of just in the summer. Thanks for chiming in on this.
@chelle: As I recall you have really young kids. My 3 year old starts preschool Tuesday.
@michael kwan: Oh I can see your parents were those very responsible types. That is always refreshing when I get parents like that in my classes. Thanks for your comment dude.
@isabella mori: Germany eh? I am jealous. Think of all a child would learn on a trip to Germany as opposed to the rote routines of Language and math … See if they’ll do independent study with you.
My kids are enrolled in a cyber-charter public school, so we can split the difference: school is where we are with their books and wifi connection, so we can arrange trips - even out of state - with minimal impact to their academic schedule.
Charlie on PA Tpks last blog post..Gov. Sarah Palin, candidate for Vice President
My parents used to take us out of school for a day or two sometimes and we’d hit the museums, take a small road trip, etc. It was not only fun, it was memorable!
I think the problem, here anyway, is that a lot of the people want to take their kids out for weeks at a time to go to other countries to visit relatives. The schools here even frown on “sick”, for some reason. They have no problem sending the kids home sick, but when calling them in sick, you get the third degree.
Too much absenteesim, I guess!!!!
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@Charlie: Wow. I had not ever heard of cyber charter schooling. That is one of the most exciting things I have ever heard in my 10 years teaching. I will be looking into that, especially to save my kid from being murdered in High School in a few years.
@Jessica: Nah, they just get pressured from the top when funding is low. The seedcorn money of public schools is attendance.
@Damien start at k12.com … that’s the curriculum provider for the cyber charter school our kids use. They offer their material to individuals and in conjunction with charter and private schools.
There are others out there as well… it is a major undertaking, but you may find it well worth.
Charlie on PA Tpks last blog post..Gov. Sarah Palin, candidate for Vice President
How can I learn more about the Independent Study packet, and how I can suggest it to our school. I know they will have a problem with the missing of school days due to the $$$ lost when there is lower attendance…
“If it’s more than 3 days you want to avoid problems with the office and/or the teacher, see if you can do an “Independent Study” packet. Usually you can and the kid never loses any days on the roll. Sometimes they get huge rewards at assemblies and such for perfect attendance. If its just a day or two, just say she/he was sick.”