Comments on: Talking To Kids About Death

By: martin english

martin english — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 07:34:08 +0000

I remember my mothers funeral. Two of my nephews were aged 5 and 78 at the time. They had a pretty good understanding of life and death for their ages; They’d already been on hunting trips with their parents, and while not shooting themselves, had seen wild pigs and deer shot, and had been present when their father had put down a very badly injured hunting dog.

The boys spent most of the funerakl discussing, in that particularly gruesome way that young boys have, what was going to happen to my mothers body. Knowing my sister and the two boys, and my mother, I found it more amusing than disgusting, but others weren’t so tolerant.

In short, your honesty with your kids may earn them (and you) some dirty looks from relatives and friends. Don’t let that worry you; explain to the people who matter and ignore the others…

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By: Kevin T.

Kevin T. — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:16:35 +0000

Add me to the list of those agreeing that honesty, without sugar-coating and without over-elaboration, is the best way to help a child understand death. It’ll be a few years before we have to discuss such things with out little one, but it’s posts like this that help me prepare. Thanks, Derek.

By: Night Writer

Night Writer — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 05:24:48 +0000

A beautiful, great book that we’ve given out in times like these to families with young children is “Someday Heaven” (http://www.amazon.com/Someday-Heaven-Larry-Libby/dp/0310701058/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214975702&sr=8-1).

In fact, that reminds me I need to pick up another copy because my wife is officiating tomorrow at a funeral for a friend of ours who was killed in a motorcycle accident, and there’s a young daughter left behind.

Night Writers last blog post.."All men must make their way come Independence Day…"

By: Jeremy (Discovering Dad)

Jeremy (Discovering Dad) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 21:21:37 +0000

Honesty is definitely easier to understand for both kids and adults. Good advice Derek.

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By: RubiaLala

RubiaLala — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 03:12:50 +0000

We have dealt with this a little bit. A fried of ours died, someone The Boy didn’t know. But he saw us grieving and sees us helping the family. And his grandparent’s dog died recently.

It’s hard because they do ask tough questions. He asked why things die and we said sometimes they get really sick, sometimes it’s from fighting, like in a war, and sometimes it just happens and we don’t know why.

I don’t mind though because I love that peek into his heart and his head. It’s nice to know that there aren’t just plans for video games in there.

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By: Kevin (ReturnToManliness)

Kevin (ReturnToManliness) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:36:18 +0000

TONS of great food for thought here, Derek. I think one of the best piece of advice you give here is to NOT confuse the children with terms they may not understand. Tell them how it is. They don't need to know everything, but confusing them to help soften the blow is almost never a good way to go (in my opinion). Great post!!! Kevin (ReturnToManliness)s last blog post..Manliness Trait: Try To Be Interesting, But ALWAYS Be Interested