The Trials Of Raising A Unique Child

Have you ever had an experience when your child comes to you in tears, not sure how to handle a situation with their friends?

Up until a couple of days ago, I had not.

Sure, there had been issues with friends in the past but nothing that was quite like what unfolded recently.

To set the stage, I will remind you that my youngest son could be labeled as being a bit unique - he moves to the beat of his own drum. He is not one to follow what other people do, preferring to set his own path. He has his own unique style. While he loves to play sports and run around with his friends, he has a passion for dancing. He has long, skater hair and pierced ears.

At a recent dance practice, my son was informed that he would be a focal point of the group dance as he would start the dance on stage by himself, lip-syncing the words to the song G-Slide by Lil Mama. Then all of the girls would come out on stage and join the dance.

On the way home from practice, he had the following conversation with my wife.

YS: The kids will make fun of me for my part in the dance.

Wife: What kids?

YS: All the kids at school.

Wife: Why will they make fun of you?

YS: I like to talk about my dance but everyone makes fun of me for dancing.

Wife: Do you want to quit dancing?

YS: No, dancing is my favorite thing to do. I love it.

Wife: Good, should we worry about what other people think?

YS: No, but they make fun of me for my long hair and earrings too.

Wife: Do you want to cut your hair or take out your earrings?

YS: No.

Wife: You have your own style and I love that about you. Lets not worry about what other people think about and focus on the things that we enjoy.

YS: I know, I am going to sit down with my friends and tell them I love to dance and to talk about it and please don’t make fun of me.

Wife: That sounds like a great idea.

YS: Mom, if I become famous and am on TV, does that make Scott famous too cause he’s my friend?

Wife: Sure, I guess.

Here was a situation where my son was faced with a dilemma - he has an activity that he loves more than anything, but his friends make fun of him about it. While he doesn’t want to stop dancing, he wasn’t sure what to do about the situation with his friends. He wants to talk about it without being teased about being a girl since he dances.

To be honest, I’ve seen a few raised eyebrows myself when I explain to adults that my son is extremely interested in dancing. One woman asked me how I felt about my son dancing, as I come across as a sports-minded, man’s man kind of guy and she thought I would not accept him dancing. She was surprised when I told her how much I love that he is dancing and how I encourage him to follow his passions regardless of what other people think.

That is the lesson here.

When you find something that you truly love doing, don’t allow the opinions of others to deter you from pursuing that passion. The easy thing for my son to do would be to quit dancing and play baseball or football like all of his friends. While he enjoys playing those sports casually, he would rather focus his time on dancing and will be competing for the first time this year.

As a parent, we need to encourage our children to follow their dreams as well, even if we might not fully understand it at the time. When my son first expressed an interest in dancing, I’ll admit that I had questions about it but I kept them quiet. When I saw how much he loves to dance, I knew that I would be right there with him offering my encouragement every step of the way.

Encourage your children. Support your children. Love your children.